Resort manager has a point?

[Redredwine2020]

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

The policy isn't targeting disabled people. I would say it pretty much rules out all children and big groups of adults etc.

This Manager is pulling someone's pisser. Look at the tone of response to any negative reviews. Now look at the 'customer' review that caused all the trouble.

I'd say this person had a peculiarly idiosyncratic gift for hyperbole, and certainly isn't above getting into confrontations with any dissenting voice on TripAdvisor. More than that, they seem to see their rigid adherence to their 'thou shalt not fart, cough or breathe' policy as a positive selling point to potential future guests.

Go figure.

[quote 5zeds]**@Redredwine2020* we specifically target our audience by being a very quiet and peaceful resort?* the specific target is people who aren’t disabled in this way. There were clubs that used to target non-blacks, were they racist?[/quote]
Being loud is not a protected characteristic. 2 of my NT children could not have gone to that resort.

[quote PatriciaPerch]@Mousehole10

You do what most reasonable people do and take them to activities suited to them and not to activities which aren’t. If your child (or adult child) can’t be quiet you don’t take them to places where people have paid a lot of money for quiet, spas for example. It’s general curtesy for others. Very entitled to do otherwise

so you agree with discrimination then? in the UK?
who are 'them' btw? not quite human beings?[/quote]
No, I agree with everyone doing things that are suitable for them and being mindful of the situation and of other people. If I want a loud night out with my friends I don’t go to a quiet country pub, if I want to take my baby out I don’t take her to a quiet spa, likewise if I go to a family friendly loud place I don’t complain at anyone making lots of noise. It’s just common sense and consideration for others. I don’t care if someone is disabled or not, why would I? But I do care if someone, anyone, is making noise in what’s supposed to be a quiet place when I have paid for that quiet place. And the ‘them’ is whoever you were referring to in your post. Not ‘them and us’ as you would probably love to see it as.

I think it's madness not to have a minimum age (wouldn't necessarily have to be 18, could allow for quiet teens) at a resort which is aiming at a quiet atmosphere to this extent
No, it's not madness @Hardbackwriter. It's already really difficult to find quiet resorts that allow children.

I hate reading all the families with disabled children hiding them away in case their very existence ruins the fun of those without disability.
You seem to think it's ok for my DS to have to hide away on holiday because he can't handle loud piercing noises. Most resorts are noisy, if you have a noisy child, you have way more choice than my family does. And not just my family, many people with autism suffer the same as my DS with loud noises. Are we supposed to sit at home and hide away?

No but it could be a manifestation of someone’s disability.

yes, lets lock them away again fgs
people are disgraceful

stop making stuff up and changing what posters wrote.

If you had a child who is being badly affected by noise, wouldn't you want a chance to find places and activities for them?

Are you against "quiet shopping hours", "quiet cinema sessions" as well? Yes, they are about the noise of the place, not the noise of the people in them, but surely they prove that quieter opportunities are a need.

No one is asking to lock anyone away

@AddisonM

Mousehole I don’t pretend to be up to speed on the law in the Philippines - fair enough - but here in the UK it’s certainly not ok to target yourself to a particular market to the exclusion of disabled people.

Look at the cake shop people who wouldn’t make the cake for the gay couple. That’s not ok either.

Didn't the cake shop win? Because they were ok to do the cake, but not the message on it due to their religion (interesting clahs there tbh).

FYI, equality act isn't really applicable in NI.

i'm off.
Is it in a travel corridor?

Amen Patricia.

@HitthatroadJack not sure I’d noticed I had. Comparing able and disabled is surely necessary if discussing discrimination in this situation surely?

Lots of people have brought up “conflicting needs” in one way or another. That often happens when you discuss accommodating disability. (You know the, one likes noise, one is noisy how CAN you be fair) my experience is that disabled people and their families are brilliant at accommodating each other and it’s fairly rare for it to cause the sort of issues you would imagine. Most disabled people have non disabled siblings, parents and extended family. They get it. They shouldn’t be made unwelcome because of things they cannot control and while this manager may be able to behave like that where he is, I sincerely doubt it would happen here and it is NOT the norm for the region. As I said I wouldn’t go there and wouldn’t be impressed by people who did if they were aware of his behaviour.

I wouldn't take my two to the quiet shopping hours as it isn't suitable. Although I generally don't take oldest to the shops full stop because I don't need to and its just too traumatic. My youngest does the whole ear piercing squeal thing so it wouldn't be fair on others in the quiet sessions.

but I don't think people who are disabled should have to go to quiet sessions at the cinema or the shops if THEY do not WANT to or NEED to

of course not, but the fact they exist should show you that there is a need, and not just for NT people.

What IS suitable for a "noisy" child? Family resorts?
No one expect a "quiet" holiday in those... No one expects a "quiet" holiday in a resort famous for their stag/hen parties either, but that's not terribly suitable for children.

@AddisonM

I know that user. It was a more general comment in response to Mousehole’s comment about how disabled people should stick to activities which are suitable for them.

Not just disabled people, all people. All people should pick activities and places suitable for them. I don’t care if they’re disabled or not. Some disabled people need quiet places, why shouldn’t they have access to quiet resorts? Some NT people may want a quiet resort, why shouldn’t they have that too? There are many, many resorts that cater for families and noise, if people can’t or don’t want to be quiet they should pick one of those as it’s more suitable. It’s just plain common sense really, not sure why everything has to boil down to discrimination accusations.

Look at the cake shop people who wouldn’t make the cake for the gay couple. That’s not ok either.
@AddisonM, if you are talking about Asher's Bakery in what became known as the "Gay Cake" case, a few of points:

The cake was not for a gay couple.
The gay man was sold the cake he wanted, but the bakers refused to write the political message he wanted on it.
He was given icing pens by the bakery so he could write the message himself.
He lost, and rightly so, because enforced speech is not free speech.
Had he won, fundamental Christians would have been able to force gay bakers to make cakes decrying homosexuality.

Omg, I never knew this place existed.
The last family holiday we went on was over 10 years ago. Trying to find quiet places that accept children is bloody hard.

My youngest and oldest hate loud noises so much they have never really screamed themselves. They both have various forms of ASD, and their sensory issues related to sound are the only things shared by them and myself.

If the managers safety record is correct that is amazing.

@Redredwine2020

I wouldn't take my two to the quiet shopping hours as it isn't suitable. Although I generally don't take oldest to the shops full stop because I don't need to and its just too traumatic. My youngest does the whole ear piercing squeal thing so it wouldn't be fair on others in the quiet sessions.

See this is being sensible and considerate of others. Why can’t everyone be like this? And I love the idea of quiet sessions and normal session at places like supermarkets and cinemas. Quiet places for those who want or need quiet and noisy places for those who want it or can’t be quiet. Everyone’s happy.

@Tomnooktoldmeto

As a parent of a high functioning autistic teen who has a severe noise phobia called Misophonia this resort sounds like heaven

For years dd has been grouped together with other autistic kids and whilst the majority can be noisy and sensory seeking some like dd are sensory defensive and suffer badly from their peers noise

Perhaps the group needs reminding that when you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person

Exactly the same here! My husband and son have this and this resort sounds absolutely perfect!

@PatriciaPerch

My daughter is an adult and can cope with a normal cinema despite her complex needs, should I not take her because it makes other people uncomfortable?

I really think some of you so strongly suggesting 'loud' people with disabilities should 'not go out to places unsuitable' have not had to live with carefully choosing a venue asking for a table away from the main eating area so with not drawing attention to yourselves and then being met with some nob asking staff for your table to moved because THEY feel uncomfortable.

It's 2020 folks, people with disabilities exist and they always have

I really think those of you with no experience of this need to think about what you are saying and presenting as acceptable

to be honest if she can’t be quiet in a cinema to the extent that others can’t hear the film properly then no she shouldn’t go. If she can then of course she should. Same for anyone, my crying baby would not go to a quiet cinema showing. There are viewings suited to noise though, just as there are baby showings where people don’t mind crying.

The woman said, "We often get this a lot. "

At that point I lost sympathy.

Regardless of who we are, there will always be times a place isn't suitable for everyone.

Like adult only screenings in cinemas, yet parents want to take their bab/toddlers in. Should we jus say we sod it let them in?

suggesting 'loud' people with disabilities should 'not go out to places unsuitable'

No one is suggesting that. They are saying that loud people shouldn't go to places clearly advertised as quiet. Loud people, nothing more.

I wouldn't have taken my children to specially designated quiet places because there are plenty of places that aren't designated quiet x the vast majority of places in fact. What gives me the right to disturb people that have specifically chosen a place with noise restrictions?

[quote 5zeds]@HitthatroadJack not sure I’d noticed I had. Comparing able and disabled is surely necessary if discussing discrimination in this situation surely?

Lots of people have brought up “conflicting needs” in one way or another. That often happens when you discuss accommodating disability. (You know the, one likes noise, one is noisy how CAN you be fair) my experience is that disabled people and their families are brilliant at accommodating each other and it’s fairly rare for it to cause the sort of issues you would imagine. Most disabled people have non disabled siblings, parents and extended family. They get it. They shouldn’t be made unwelcome because of things they cannot control and while this manager may be able to behave like that where he is, I sincerely doubt it would happen here and it is NOT the norm for the region. As I said I wouldn’t go there and wouldn’t be impressed by people who did if they were aware of his behaviour.[/quote]
This hasn't really answered the question though. If quiet resorts are deemed discriminatory then what happens to those with sensory issues and can't tolerate noise? So congratulations, you now have access to the 5% of resorts that market themselves as quiet on top of the 95% who don't. The people who couldn't use one of the 95% and relied on the 5% are now screwed. Why does one set of needs trump the other? How is removing the very few quiet options from people who need a quiet environment inclusive?