Resort manager has a point?

[Redredwine2020]

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

I think what I’m trying to say is that if he’s using that as a justification then I can’t see that it would fly in a legal challenge.

(Ew is fly 🪰 a new emoji?!)

@PatriciaPerch

IF you have a child with a disability who doesn't meet social expectations and is too loud but can cope with mainstream activities, at what point in their stage of life do you start isolating them from the things they can access because they could upset others?

You do what most reasonable people do and take them to activities suited to them and not to activities which aren’t. If your child (or adult child) can’t be quiet you don’t take them to places where people have paid a lot of money for quiet, spas for example. It’s general curtesy for others. Very entitled to do otherwise.

I hate reading all the families with disabled children hiding them away in case their very existence ruins the fun of those without disability. . The resort accepts “normal” children’s noise or it would be adult only and the woman wouldn’t have been able to cope.

I’d never spend my money at such a place. Rude, disablist and to be honest just utterly unappealing. So unusual for resorts in the Far East which are in my experience extraordinarily kind and accepting.

Mousehole have a wee read of the Equality Act. Even just the guidance notes.

@AddisonM

who's going to argue with a service provider arguing that their no loud noise policy saves lives

Well, plenty of people. Like I said, other, normal resorts seem to manage it. They aren’t all drowning in their droves in other resorts, are they?

Same argument could be used for adults only resorts though. Others manage children🤷🏻

It's USP. It's like with restaurants, hotels, shops. They all cater to different clientele.
If you are a vegan, you don't walk to a butchers, if you are allergic to nuts, you don't go to a palce warning that everything may have traces of nuts...

It is totally different thing when it comes to no choice. Eg. Council building, healthcarr. But a holiday resort implementing quiet polici is nkt that.
Trains have silent cartiage sometimes. Just use the whole rest of the train if it's not suitable. We all make these choices based on our abilities and needs every day. Again. Not talking about a "must" sitiations.

@AddisonM

I think what I’m trying to say is that if he’s using that as a justification then I can’t see that it would fly in a legal challenge.

(Ew is fly 🪰 a new emoji?!)

Is there the same law in the Philippines? Anyway I think even in the UK a resort could specify this. They aren’t excluding all disabled people, they are asking people who can’t or don’t want to be quiet not to come, doesn’t matter if they’re disabled or not. They are allowed to target themselves for a particular market.

@PatriciaPerch

IF you have a child with a disability who doesn't meet social expectations and is too loud but can cope with mainstream activities, at what point in their stage of life do you start isolating them from the things they can access because they could upset others?

You don't have to isolate them at all. Most resorts don't have a quiet policy and there are family friendly resorts in most locations. It's extremely entitled to choose one of the very few who do have a strict quiet policy. Why should your preference for this particular resort trump other people's preference for a quiet holiday? It's already been pointed out that some people/children with disabilities/additional can't tolerate noise so this type of policy would be ideal for them. Why shouldn't they be able to have a quiet break in one of the few resorts that promise this?

@PatriciaPerch

IF you have a child with a disability who doesn't meet social expectations and is too loud but can cope with mainstream activities, at what point in their stage of life do you start isolating them from the things they can access because they could upset others?

Problem is, there are disabilities that aren’t really compatible with each other (as someone said upthread). Some disabled people can’t help being too loud but others genuinely can’t cope with other people’s noise. Both may be able to access mainstream activities otherwise, so who do you prioritise? There really needs to be “noise tolerant” and “quiet environment” options for everything so people can choose the most appropriate, otherwise someone’s always excluded.

5zeds
genuine question: why do you insist on turning it into family with disabled children vs family without?

The resort manager has a point but their choice of wording was really blunt and rude in their response. I have a noisy child with SEN and there’s no way I’d book a holiday in a quiet resort especially one with such rigid rules, with any child but especially one as impulsive as mine. It would be a very stressful nightmare for me and my family that we wouldn’t enjoy- not to mention the people around us who presumably have paid a lot of money to go there too.

Hopefully the mum has learnt the hard way to research more when choosing a holiday destination in the future. There would be plenty of other appropriate places that would welcome them with open arms.

My DN is autistic and can't control the noise he makes, so I'm always sympathetic to parents dealing with that situation, but it is obvious that this is a resort for peace and quiet. It isn't Butlins. I probably wouldn't go here with my NT children because they like to shriek and shout, I take them on holidays catered towards their needs.

Mousehole I don’t pretend to be up to speed on the law in the Philippines - fair enough - but here in the UK it’s certainly not ok to target yourself to a particular market to the exclusion of disabled people.

Look at the cake shop people who wouldn’t make the cake for the gay couple. That’s not ok either.

"More than most resorts, Plantation Bay is a kind of mirror of the soul. Most normal people, who are with people they love, have a wonderful time. Fortunately for our business, this is most of our guests. However, there are occasional people, perhaps discontented with their lives, who see all the happiness around them and feel even worse about themselves, then spend their entire stay looking for things to complain about."

I have no words. That's the manager's response to another negative review.

@AddisonM

Mousehole have a wee read of the Equality Act. Even just the guidance notes.

I don't think the equality act applies in the Philippines

I don't hide mine away at all, I love and ensure we do normal things. We go on holidays, I research and pick suitable resorts. We go and see shows at the theatre but I book more relaxed viewings. We do everything every other family does but I would never take them somewhere they would have to sit down and be quiet or which just is not suited. Its different audiences and requirements imo, not discrimination.

And as a mum of two disabled children, if I can get a few hours spare I can guarantee I'm choosing the least chd friendly place possible to avoid them!

[quote PatriciaPerch]@User89, no = are you? you little tosspot[/quote]
🤣

The policy isn't targeting disabled people. I would say it pretty much rules out all children and big groups of adults etc.

So if there are places that can't promise to be quiet is that not discriminatory against people with sensory needs where they can't stand noise?

I know that user. It was a more general comment in response to Mousehole’s comment about how disabled people should stick to activities which are suitable for them.

The resort accepts “normal” children’s noise or it would be adult only and the woman wouldn’t have been able to cope.

It sounds like they're saying they don't, actually - as I said, I think it's madness to expect parents to self-police this, but it says that any child making noise will be asked to leave. It's possible they're not enforcing this for other children, but it's what they say they do. Again, I think it's a recipe for disaster to even allow people with young children to book into your no-noise resort but apparently they do.

Having read a few more of the negative reviews and the responses the management sound batshit, though, so perhaps not surprising that they haven't thought through the policy fully...

The concept that disabled people should stay away from some places because they are behaving in an “entitled” way to want to do something their non disabled counterparts do is just horrendous. Has the idea of equality and inclusion just skipped over you??? What if your dp had their leg chopped off tomorrow and a resort opened that didn’t want anyone disfigured being seen by their clientele? Would you suggest they hide themselves away because anything else was “entitled”?

@Redredwine2020

The policy isn't targeting disabled people. I would say it pretty much rules out all children and big groups of adults etc.

True, this would also count out my friend and her husband. I love them but my god they can't seem to have a conversation at anything less than full volume - they are just exceptionally loud people