Resort manager has a point?

[Redredwine2020]

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

Given the other reviews I sincerely doubt the manager gives a flying fuck what customers he doesn’t deem acceptable think.

Oh no, the manager makes this very clear in other reviews. Actively tells people who complain when they are asked to follow the rules, to book elsewhere next time (though I would think they would anyway, after leaving a negative review so that parts willy waving from the manager really)

Funny how noisy people think it is their right to be so but quiet people pay the price. I have no truck for loud noise at all and this hotel sounds blissful!

Not all families want noisy places. Some families are naturally quiet or need quiet to meet the needs of disabled people in their party.

I could never take DS to a typical family friendly gastro pub with play area type place because for him it wokld be too noisy. He can happily go to normal quieter restaurants though (if they do food he eats which is a whole other issue!)

@DioneTheDiabolist

Interestingly I have travelled fairly extensively with my son and we have never hit this problem.

I on the other hand have travelled abroad with DS once. Only once. Why? Because most child friendly resorts are unsuitable for us and the ones that are, tend to be prohibitively expensive. You are being extremely entitled if you think that we shouldn't get a holiday at all so you can choose from 100% of resorts instead of just 95% of them @5zeds.

And no one has said your child should have to hide away. You made that shite up and keep repeating it. And it is total shite considering your extensive, problem free travel.

Yeah I agree with you 100% here, it must be so frustrating.

Luckily we have been able to manage DDs noise sensitivity so far (and it seems to be limited to shrieky high pitched noises also, rather than loud noise in general, which helps a lot) but I can see it getting worse and ending up in a similar position, where its almost impossible to go anywhere at all.

Honestly, if DD does get worse with it, we might have to start taking the kids away seperately. We already had to move house as DD needs her own space and smewhere quiet as DS is..so bloody loud (NT too, just..loud) so holidays bcoming a issue will likely be next.

Even now, DS goes to playareas, while I take DD for a walk on the beach, things like that.

@PatriciaPerch I completely understand your point particularly around things like the pub where you should be able to take your DD as noise is acceptable in there. It must be really tough for you and I get your frustration. On the other hand there are places that are specifically meant to be quiet ie the cinema, a spa - a quiet resort. There are alternatives made for those with disabilities but it's not right to say that we can't have quiet places for those with disabilities or without because it excludes noisy people. In these cases people are paying for a service that requires quiet surroundings and unfortunately that means it is unsuitable for people who make noise. I think perhaps because you do get discriminated against so regularly this feels like the same thing - but I genuinely don't think it is.

SchrodingersImmigrant Yep. Sometimes I wish I was an entitled twat. It seems a lot easier than actually caring about other people.

(though I would think they would anyway, after leaving a negative review so that parts willy waving from the manager really)

😂 You would be surprised. I've seen so many reviews with "Been x times and it was shit every time" on restaurant and hotel reviews😂

Honestly, if DD does get worse with it, we might have to start taking the kids away seperately.

Mind, even with this, this would only work if places like the one reviewed exist. If they are 'not allowed' to say no to noise, thats us knackered completely really, as obviously adult only places won't let us in with her. I guess we culd keep her indoors til she turns 18 and can go t adult places though, but thats something that should be avoided of course, as already stated on the thread. But, without quiet places/times existing, she is pretty much housebound.

Would be good to make that clearer for sure

Well, I think that is absolutely essentially if that is the entire nature and selling point of your holiday business. You shouldn't have to 'look closer' as someone else says. If your entire deal is you are a quiet no-noise resort, put that on your front page, rather than ' Its really great for kids here, we have loads of staff so the kids can just go off by themselves and not have to go to a separate kids area - they have the whole resort! Isn't that great for families? We are so family friendly here' - which is the message the front page has.

I love peace and quiet and I love adult only places. I am a big fan of that.

But if this manager has form for repeatedly scolding guests for having kids that make noise, then he really needs to look at how he markets himself to stop this repeatedly happening.

@ZoeTurtle

SchrodingersImmigrant Yep. Sometimes I wish I was an entitled twat. It seems a lot easier than actually caring about other people.

It must be incredibly hard for people who have issues with noise because it's everywhere. I can't remember last time I heard... Nothing. I think some people here are now goading tbh so don't let it get to you

Thanks, I think I do take threads like this personally. When you have been told by a psychiatrist that you shouldn't shhh your child because it causes them great distress, it's bound to really.

Could you also think about people for whom shrieking causes great distress?

@hayaynobit I disagree it is a place for people who want quiet which is not specifically aimed at excluding people with disabilities - but even if it is that is a legitimate aim

Not RTFT but having read the review and the response, I am shocked that kids have died at all the other resorts. It sounds horrific.

I think it's unrealistic to tell children not to squeal at all, although I get the point that lifeguards need to know the difference between screaming through fear and screaming for fun. And some girls in particular have really piercing shreaks.

Of course I have. The. MH ones are even worse.

Fighting for disabled rights have been a hard fight and it is nowhere near done. Fighting within does not help. It's bad enough that those with noise sensitivity are discriminated against to the point there are loads of things they can never fully enjoy because other groups of people want to take over.

If that's really the case sod it, next year I am booking holidays at CentreParks and Butlins and demand under the disability act our right to enjoyment or whatever is adhered to, and no noise whilst we are there.

I don't take my daughter to the village pub in the evening as a lot of people just tut and stare at her, even though she is about the same volume as they are when laughing. It's just a village pub.
Genuinely sorry to hear this, must be awful, and again frustrating. I don't experience it that often, but I have been in the position of being tutted at by randomers as DD has had a meltdown before. It feels shite. Must be worse if its constant too, I only have to deal with the stares and such once in a blue moon (now, was often until we learnt what sets her off).

I kind of see a difference between a pub, where one would expect noise, and *a spa day specifically marketed for quiet and peace.

*Using spa as people seem hung up on the attitude of the manager when discussing wider points. I agree the manager has a bad attitude on their replies. But the attitude doesn't really come int the wider conversation about clearly clashing rights, of 2+ different disabilities.

On the meltdown thing actually, I havebeen 'told off' by other parets of children with SEN for removing DD from the situation to calm down somewhat. Apparently, I should just stay there and not move because its not her fault. Besides moving away stopping the stares, it just seems the..well civilized thing to do, when its a proper meltdown which then triggers worse behaviour as her own screams set her off in other ways. Thats always a fun time.

Slightly harsh response by the manager, but I agree with him on the whole.
I have an autistic child who, when she was younger, would make a noise here and there. I would never have taken her somewhere like this; instead we used to go to a cheap and cheerful Mallorca apartment with a noisy, splashy pool, and go to the beach, etc. Always had fun.
Now she’s older she’s quiet and I’m sure we’d all love to go to a place like this. I bloody love peace and quiet, and wouldn’t like to spoil anyone else’s; especially when they’ve chosen somewhere for that reason and paid a premium. Actually I went to a campsite in the Lake District last year called “The Quiet Site” as this is exactly what we wanted!

Different resorts can cater for different holidaymakers. There’s no one size fits all destination.

I think their resort sounds wonderful op. I think British/ american ( maybe English speaking generally) tourists are a bit too sensitive.
The managers response seems quite good too. I would love to visit there. Maybe when the dc are grown up 😌..........

Have I actually said I don't?

I'm now putting it in my wish list, I actually hate the screaming people think is acceptable in swimming pools and just making them adult only discriminates against quieter kids. My dd is autistic and hates noise so swimming was always hard, she is verbal admittedly, and does let squeal or scream.

It should advertise as staid, silent adults only, as I can't imagine any children are very welcome.

www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g298461-d477886-Reviews-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html#REVIEWS

Reviews that specifically mention children, a lot of families seem quite happy with it and have managed to keep to the rules and still have fun?

Asking for quiet, is not the same as expecting silence. Theres oddly enough quite a gulf between silence and squeeling/screaming repeatedly (or yammering it your phone at dinner for ages, or randomly singing at the top of your voice, and so on)

Some kids would have no issue not screaming when having fun. Others will not be able to have fun without it. Some will be somewhere inbetween. Child does not automatically equal noisy. Which is why, kids are welcome, if they keep it down, like the adults are expected to.

@movingonup20

I'm now putting it in my wish list, I actually hate the screaming people think is acceptable in swimming pools and just making them adult only discriminates against quieter kids. My dd is autistic and hates noise so swimming was always hard, she is verbal admittedly, and does let squeal or scream.

We hire a local hydrotherapy pool to take DS swimming because he can’t cope at all in public baths because of the noise, made worse by how it echos around.

It’s a lot more expensive but it’a the only way we can get him in the water