Resort manager has a point?

[Redredwine2020]

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

@SchrodingersImmigrant

They will be absolutely heary broken to lose custom from whole family who probably never even planned to go there anyway. Thoughts and prayers with them in these hard times...

Seriously. This is getting silly

Quite... and I've just favourited the TA page to look at booking when we can travel again. As a disabled person I'm delighted at the no-noise policy.

@PatriciaPerch but they are not discriminating against disabled people. They are discriminating against noisy people. People with disabilities that are not noisy are welcome. People without disabilities that are noisy are not. It's the same rules for everyone

Plantation Bay is one of the very few hotels in the world that proactively and strictly defends our guests' right to peace and quiet (don't you wish airlines, airports, restaurants, and other public venues would do the same?)

No, frankly, I don't (and I speak as one who is extremely noise-intolerant). If I travel by rail I book the quiet coach, but I also take noise-cancelling earphones because I know full well others won't respect those rules and have no intention of sitting tutting, shooting daggers or having to tell someone else they need to shut up. I make my own provisions against noise, because if we all spent our lives being pissed with rule people we'd be spending an awful lot of time angry.

Babies cry. People want to talk and chatter, etc. We might - shock horror! - actually encounter some non-NT people.

Noisy I personally am not, but I wouldn't be particularly keen on the Headmaster Ritual from cabin crew, ground staff etc in the event that my kid has a tantrum, as tired, tetchy travelling kids are wont to do.

This resort is not a place for children, NT or otherwise, and it doesn't sound exactly a barrel of laughs for adults either. Even the ones like me who do appreciate a bit of peace and quiet. It should advertise as staid, silent adults only, as I can't imagine any children are very welcome. Being 'seen and not heard' is the condition of an exam room, not a relaxing holiday.

They've said what they want (and I don't for one moment believe 'special Mum' was a real guest anyway). Potential customers can go there or vote with their feet. The Manager's attitude would put a lot of people's backs up.

That part should probably be removed.

However isn't it better that all the people who don't like kids or want somewhere quiet do have somewhere quiet to go, leaves a caravan or apartment free for those with families ...

I wouldn't say removed as such. Its perfectly possible for families to be fairly quiet types, either by personality or needs. It should maybe be made clear that its not a 'traditional family resort' though, incase people do not look beyond that and see the pages of confirmation its a quiet place though!

Its also a nice change, to have a quiet place that accepts kids at all. Usually they are reseved to adults only, and of course many kids would benefit from a calm quiet holiday. I reckon if we did not have DS also, we would favour places like this, as DD has issues with loud noises a lot of the time (ie. she can sometimes deal for short periods of time, but it overwhelms her pretty quickly). No way would we be able to take DS there though.

But yeah, maybe clear its not the usual screamy shouty bustling about splashing family type holiday. But suitable for children (and adults, loud adults cannot go either!) who are calm and quiet types, for whatever reason.

The commitment to peace and quiet is exactly why some people with autism would choose this resort and they could find the child's squealing distressing.

I wonder what the mother's opinion would be if her DS was upset by another child's squeals having booked a quiet resort.

@PatriciaPerch

There are plenty of posts on this threads which are discriminatory. Being able to access the same spaces as non disabled people is not being entitled.

And YOU are discriminating against anyone disabled who has sensory disorders and issues with loud noises, but apparently those disabled people don’t matter in your little world!

I will say again I wouldn’t go to this resort because of their managers comments to a mother of a disabled child. I find them disableist and as such wouldn’t spend my money there.

Fair enough that you keep repeating this, thats totally up to you, ad quite sensible really as the manager sounds a bit dickish.

Its quite..stark though that you say this, the only reason you (will admit you) wouldn't go is because of the managers attitude, rather than accepting that it might be an issue for other SEN people for you to go, knowing your child will make noise, and disrupt others who are there specifically for the quiet, and potentially because of their own disabilities. No acknowledgement at all of that point is interesting. Its simply 'I wouldn't go becase the manager said this'.

@Tomnooktoldmeto absolutely!

I am hugely sympathetic - but a child who is violent to other people, or himself is clearly causing more harm than one who shrieks.

Shame this didn't answer the question or the @5zeds seems to be ignoring it. For those who missed it

My sons violence isn't voluntary.
Going to a quiet holiday resort and having a screaming child, regardless of the reasons would trigger this response.

Whose right are more "worthier"
Those of a screamer at a quiet resort
Those of a noise sensitive at a quiet resort?

This resort is not a place for children,
Yes it is @MarieIVanArkleStinks. It is a place for children. It is a place for disabled children. It is not a place for noisy children or adults.

* I am hugely sympathetic - but a child who is violent to other people, or himself is clearly causing more harm than one who shrieks.

The violence impacts me as I am the one trying to deal with it.

The shrieking from another individual impacts all those around. If the shrieking person wasn't in a quiet zone, then there wouldn't be an issue for those who react badly to loud noises would there?

Sorry, should have put on the end of that post that it is relevant (IMO anyway) that almost all family resorts are accesible for people like your child, who cannot stay quiet. There are a handful, that are accessible for people who cannot stand noise. Yet, the only reason you would not take your child to this place, which is one of the rare accessible places for people who have disabilities/conditions where they have issues with noise, is because the manager is a dick. While saying everyone should be welcoming people with disablities and excluding people with disabilities is always wrong..and not about competing needs. Yet, clearly, this only goes one way? As it appears, though I may be wrong (doesn't seem so, given repeated replies though) that you are NOT willing to consider other disabilities at all when decision making? Even taking the fact that some will be there for purely personal choice out of it..taking noisy children to quiet places IS disadvantaging people who have issues around noise. So in order to accomodate your son, like the huge majority of other resorts would, this resort would have to exclude other disabled people who have much less choice than you do. But thats..fine.

@gottakeeponmovin Excluding someone who is noisy because of their disability, is discrimination. It's a textbook example of indirect discrimination. Maybe learn the basics of what constitutes discrimination before claiming otherwise.

Do you really think MP's will freely sign away disability rights?

You do know some do have disabilities themselves? Why would they want to make their own lives harder never mind the rest of us. Many of them actively support more rights for us all, not just those who have certain disabilities.

The needs of those who cannot help making noise, actively clash with those who cannot (not even doesn't want to, cannot) tolerate others making noise. Both are disabilities/conditions that would affect the persons life in quite a big way. Neither should make the suffer expected to hide away indoors and not take part in public life. Both should be catered for IMO. And they are. Though with only a tiny minority of places catering to the second group. Many more catering to the first group. And it being deemed that those tiny minority of places catering to the second group, should not actually cater to the second group, as it means exclusing the first group. Result, first group can go everywhere, second group can go nowhere. Inclusion eh?

Would be great if there was a way to make it so everywhere was 100% inclusive. But while clashes of rights like that exist, its simply not possible in reality.

I had a quick look on the front page of their website and it sells itself as a family resort and mentions their benefits to families. It doesn't say this a resort where people and children are expected to be quiet.

They can't have it both ways. You can't market yourself as a holiday resort for families with children, but also market yourself as a quiet holiday retreat.

Your screen shot appears to be from some terms and conditions that most people never read. And as I said, its unreasonable to throw that in if you welcome kids.

A person with as many typos as I currently make on this keyboard cannot peacefully co-exist with others who can type properly either, it seems! Please ignore typos, cannot currently afford a new laptop!

of course they do sad

And yet you don't want there to be any places where noisy people aren't welcome. Which is it?

They can't have it both ways. You can't market yourself as a holiday resort for families with children, but also market yourself as a quiet holiday retreat.

Would be good to make that clearer for sure. They can be a resort for families with children, however, quiet children (with quiet parents)

1 in 200 resorts being ths way..is not realistically taking away from those who cannot, or do not want to be quiet.

Your screen shot appears to be from some terms and conditions that most people never read. And as I said, its unreasonable to throw that in if you welcome kids.

Really? I look ito places thoroughly when bookig, tripadviser them for a while also to check they are suitable. Would be awful to end up in a place I felt I/my kids were not welcome and were runing other peoples holidays.

Maybe I can see this from bth ways because I have both a child who is especially sensitive to noise, and one who is very..energetic and loud. Which is a fantastic combo at home I assure you Going out, we tend to split off into different places a lot of the time..I don't generally attempt t take them out on my own due to this..

@ZoeTurtle

of course they do sad

And yet you don't want there to be any places where noisy people aren't welcome. Which is it?

Just go to a noisy resort and demand quiet. It looks like that's how it's done here...

not in a real world

Vulva, yea I know isn't inclusion fabulous?
It's a shame when crap like this happens and people decide yea sod that, I don't care what your rules/t&cc's say, they don't apply to me.

@lostintheday have a closer look. It's not just. the. noise from children, but noise from adults as well that isn't allowed Even mobiles conversations are banned from the restaurants. As well as on the website, it is also mentioned during booking and confirmation.