Resort manager has a point?

[Redredwine2020]

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

@5zeds this is not a thread about your reception room. This is a thread about a resort advertised as a quiet place which you have an issue with because you couldn't take your son. My point is only that you should not expect to take your son here as it is specifically a quiet resort. You can take your son to the thousands of noisy resorts where children and adults screaming, water polo, Zumba etc is continually going on and noise is expected by everyone there. I do not understand why you feel people are not entitled to chose to go to a quiet resort where noisy people are not welcome

@5zeds

I wonder if Jessica Thorn has ever been told she’s “entitled” for going about her life? It’s ok guys I wouldn’t go because I don’t like the attitude of the manager and I wouldn’t want to be somewhere where disabled people aren’t welcome.

Really? This place sounds ideal for 2 of my dc's and myself. We are all disabled.

I feel free to go anywhere with my child you would feel ok to go with yours. I’m not sure what more there is to understand. I wouldn’t go to this resort because of the managers responses, others find them a positive and would court this type of place. The OP asked what people thought, I’m really happy not to agree with people who think this is ok. I’d go as far as to say I think I’m entitled to my own opinion, and to share lived experience as I see fit.

@5zeds

The concept that disabled people should stay away from some places because they are behaving in an “entitled” way to want to do something their non disabled counterparts do is just horrendous. Has the idea of equality and inclusion just skipped over you??? What if your dp had their leg chopped off tomorrow and a resort opened that didn’t want anyone disfigured being seen by their clientele? Would you suggest they hide themselves away because anything else was “entitled”?

Does the idea of equality and inclusion only apply to people whose disability causes them to make noise and specifically exclude those whose disability or mental illness makes excessive squealing from children intolerable?

I genuinely don’t understand how so many people are banging on about discrimination against people who make noise while completely disregarding the genuine need for some people to be able to access places that are kept quiet and free of children screaming. It’s so hypocritical.

The example above is ridiculous, an amputee is not going to affect anyone else’s experience of a place. A screaming child does have the ability to affect someone else’s experience of a place, even if their screaming is caused by a disability. The two situations are not remotely comparable.

It's got nothing to do with his disability and I dislike the way the reviewer made it that way
This. It's nothing to do with the child's disability and it's pathetic to make it as such just because she didn't want the rules to apply to her family.

It would the same situation with a man suffering from arthritis who swims lengths every day to ease it, choosing a resort that attracts children specifically, and decided to swim length in the main pool at peak hours and getting in the way of everyone but shouting that he has arthritis so he should be entitled and the kids should tolerate bring splashed and having to move to make way for him.

Well they own the resort so they can set the rules and fwiw I wouldn't take my NT kids there cos it sounds too stressful . I'd not want to spend a week keeping them quiet. It doesn't sound like a sensible place to take any child really amd plenty of adults would be screwed going there too...

I think with kids you have to be sensible about where you take them and the times you take them.

If kids and families are actually welcome then all kids should be accommodated and if members of the public can't deal with members of the public then they should stay home and let the rest enjoy themselves and not have to stare at grumpy disapproving faces all day.. if kids cabt play in a pool and be happy on holiday then when can they.. Personally wherever I've been adults are the issue not the kids. They shout argue and swear and make rackets half the night. Kids squeakling or crying or playing dont bother me you kinda expect it at a family resort...

I just dont think this is discrimination in and of itself.

It isnt direct discrimination.

It isnt indirect discrimination either. It may feel like it as the child concerned has a protected characteristic and the policy, though it would apply to all, puts anyone with the child's disability at a particular disadvantage when compared with those who do not have that disability and therefore they're at a disadvantage i.e. cannot control noise making compared to others. However I think the policy is likely a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim.

There are plenty of adults only resorts that would otherwise discriminate against another protected characteristic - age. Similarly 18-30s or over 50s type places. There are retreats for certain sexes - another protected characteristic. And we know there are places like this that require a low level of noise. That such places exist on abundance demonstrates even without delving into the law that its likely such policies can be legitimate.

This place wouldve applied the policy the same way if my child screamed or if I was chatting loudly on the phone all the time and so on.

Where I think they are wrong is in the way they have engaged/responded in the TripAdvisor post which is inappropriate and ignorant in some of the phraseology

@Shoxfordian

It sounds lovely. I wish these rules applied everywhere

Whilst I disagree that this guy is discriminating against people with specific disabilities, unfortunately this kind of comment is what causes the upset Having some hotels catering to specific needs, fine. But it's sad that people like Who's actively DO want discrimination against people with specific disabilities because no matter where they go, they shouldn't ever have to experience anything that isn't pleasant to them

I think quite a few posters have summed it up well, its suitability. Its entirely different ballgame to a family resort responding negatively. I would expect a (clearly) family resort to be inclusive of children.

Ok. So YOU go to the resort that wrote that response and have the opinion that the attitudes expressed are fine. I will stay at any number of resorts that DON’T treat mums with disabled kids like this. It’s win win really accommodation wise, but it isn’t inclusion which isn’t just a “nice to have” for me.

@5zeds

My sons violence isn't voluntary.
Going to a quiet holiday resort and having a screaming child, regardless of the reasons would trigger this response.

Whose right are more "worthier"
Those of a screamer at a quiet resort
Those of a noise sensitive at a quiet resort?

@5zeds

Ok. So YOU go to the resort that wrote that response and have the opinion that the attitudes expressed are fine. I will stay at any number of resorts that DON’T treat mums with disabled kids like this. It’s win win really accommodation wise, but it isn’t inclusion which isn’t just a “nice to have” for me.

But they'd say the same to a NT child that was making noise too. I have typical 1 year old twins. We'd be kicked out on day1 (well I wouldn't go cos he sounds like a dick) because they're noisy, my husband is attached to his phone and I like to sing out loud. My complex child would be at the bottom of the list of complaints even though I Def couldn't keep him quiet either.

I asked Fin if we could go back to the room because we weren’t allowed to squeal and be merry the special way.

Rolling my eyes a lot at this...

Out of all the thousands of resorts in the world, WHY choose one that is very clear about its noise requirements?? She sounds batshit.

The manager doesn't come across brilliantly and has no understanding of the difference between kids with SEN and uncontrolled kids, but if the website and confirmation letter all set out the resort's requirements, then he is right.

Well, it is clear on the website. Sounds a bit joyless to me though. My DS has no SEN but he never bloody stops talking and I wouldn't take him somewhere where I need to constantly shush him, not relaxing at all.

@5zeds

Ok. So YOU go to the resort that wrote that response and have the opinion that the attitudes expressed are fine. I will stay at any number of resorts that DON’T treat mums with disabled kids like this. It’s win win really accommodation wise, but it isn’t inclusion which isn’t just a “nice to have” for me.

Brilliant, you do that. Sounds like what we have all been saying from the start of this thread. Go to a hotel where you like the policies and is suitable for your family and don’t go to one unsuitable like this. Let others enjoy what they have paid for and you get to enjoy a resort where your children can be themselves and not have to worry about them making noise. Win win!

This hotel might just be my next hoiday destination....sounds perfect to me.

@Ilikewinter

This hotel might just be my next hoiday destination....sounds perfect to me.

Me too, wondering who I can drop my (noisy) baby off with and go straight to this resort. I need some quiet!

YABU, i went to the front page and sounds lovely and where I would want to take my two loud children, one with autism.

It didnt read it being a peaceful quiet resort. It said luxury rooms, no queuing for the waterpark etc. Sounds great

Just searched their page to check, front page of their website and not one mention of the word Quiet

@GloGirl its literally on the front page that it says

"Friendly Reminder. We are not like other Filipinos. Plantation Bay is one of the very few hotels in the world that proactively and strictly defends our guests' right to peace and quiet (don't you wish airlines, airports, restaurants, and other public venues would do the same?)

Audible electronics and prolonged tele-conversations are not permitted in our restaurants. Electronics are prohibited altogether inside the Spa, without exception. Parents with children are expected to ensure that they do not disturb others; and if you are unable to control your infants and children, you may be asked to leave a facility or even the hotel.

If this seems "fascist" to you, please try another hotel. We WILL enforce these principles, because we firmly believe that the vast majority of our guests will have a much more enjoyable holiday if we do so. For every guest who argues that he should be free to disturb others as much as he likes, we have a hundred who are ecstatic that, finally, someone is willing to speak up against incivility and discourtesy. And that's how we can have a resort that is family-friendly, couples-friendly, corporate-friendly, and singles-friendly, all at the same time."

That woman is an idiot and anyone who thinks that you can just disregard rules like that is an idiot too.

It's a resort that caters to people who want peace and quiet. There's nothing wrong with that. There's far more places that cater for children in particular, is that discriminating against adults? No it's not, it's a bloody holiday resort. Would I go to Disney land and demand they get rid of the children? No because I'm a reasonable human being. Would I go to a ski resort and complain its too cold? No because I have a brain.

She's gone somewhere they don't welcome children at unless they are quiet, and expected for that rule to be over looked essentially. How is that fair on the other paying guests who wanted quiet? It's not, she shouldn't have booked it. Hopefully next time she uses her brain and books somewhere better suited for her kids, that they would actually enjoy. Hardly any kids would like a place they have to be quiet in any way, it's a small minority that would. Its a boring holiday for the rest.

[quote canigooutyet]@5zeds

My sons violence isn't voluntary.
Going to a quiet holiday resort and having a screaming child, regardless of the reasons would trigger this response.

Whose right are more "worthier"
Those of a screamer at a quiet resort
Those of a noise sensitive at a quiet resort?[/quote]
I am hugely sympathetic - but a child who is violent to other people, or himself is clearly causing more harm than one who shrieks.

Am I on the wrong website?

plantationbay.com/english/

@GloGirl its under section B