Resort manager has a point?

[Redredwine2020]

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

we don't take our sweets, crisps and mobile phones into the cinema so I imagine we are even

Well if the disturbance your daughter makes is only comparable to sweet wrappers you should just take her. I do not think disabled people should be hidden away just because they are different or make people feel awkward. Only if very extreme behaviour genuinely ruins the experience for others. To be honest I've never had a cinema experience ruined by a noisy disabled person, only by anti social non disabled people.

You have already engaged and spouted your own ignorant, disablist bollocks all over it in the name of an inclusion that excludes many with ASD.

@Chanandlerbong01

Is it bad I’m considering booking it for myself for a couple of weeks based on her review?

I am considering the same:)

she LOVES going to the cinema smile and she loves horse riding toosmile

Excellent. I am sure she doesn't cause as much disturbance as you think. As with most things in life, the majority of people are tolerant and kind, but unfortunately you remember the one person who says something unkind.

Money is the number one discriminator anyway...how many outraged people on this thread can actually afford a posh resort in the Philippines? Most of us can't go regardless of noisy children

Sorry, my last post was to @5zeds.

I don’t think that’s true @DioneTheDiabolist in fact it’s so far from the truth it’s a bit odd. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you though.

I agree that the resort has the right to implement and enforce the policy, however the resort manager who wrote this reply crossed the line with what they wrote.

Telling someone that they are causing a corona virus risk because their child is squealing? Terrible! No worse than telling someone their child is a trip hazard on a busy footpath because they have an disability that causes them to walk with a swaying, side to side gait or a parent of a child with Tourettes that they are corona virus risk.

The resort is also very stupid to rely on hearing as a lifesaving method (or to use this as a reason to insist on quiet), many, many drownings are silent with no noise whatsoever.

@5zeds

I don’t think that’s true *@DioneTheDiabolist* in fact it’s so far from the truth it’s a bit odd. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you though.

So you genuinely can't see (or refuse to accept) that you're advocating for the exclusion of families with different needs to your own and have very few options to begin with? Or do you just not feel that making sure that those people have options too is important?

As a SEN mum I totally agree with you OP.

Manager sounds like a bit of a dick, and I wouldn't book here BUT it clearly was never going to be suitable for this family so I wouldn't have given them my money. The people who choose to are entitled to get what they paid for. Which isn't listening to my child

I'm surprised they were allowed to travel so far from the UK for a holiday, or even wanted to, never mind going somewhere that you couldn't go out of. It would be like being in a 5* prison.

My ds is autistic and very sensitive to noise. He developed Tourette’s in his teens. I get it. I’m sorry we disagree. This child HAS been removed from the resort and I do think it’s wrong because the “noise” isn’t voluntary. It’s a direct result of his disability.

I'm surprised they were allowed to travel so far from the UK for a holiday, or even wanted to,. Do you mean because of Covid?

My sons violence isn't voluntary.
Going to a quiet holiday resort and having a screaming child, regardless of the reasons would trigger this response.

Whose right are more "worthier"
Those of a screamer at a quiet resort
Those of a noise sensitive at a quiet resort?

I can’t see that it’s any different to saga, club 18-30s, adults only, families only. If you will be noisy why would you pick a resort where all the other guests have gone specifically to be quiet? There are so many other places to stay. If you get on a train and want to make noise would you bypass all the normal seats and head straight for the quiet coach?

Sounds like heaven but I wouldn't take my toddler there as I won't be able to control him at all. Since having my toddler, I had to adapt my lifestyle. For instance, when I go to restaurants for dinner, I pick times between 5pm-5.30pm latest as I don't want to disturb other diners which it tends to be the perfect time before diners attend. My toddler shouts, screams sometimes and kicks off when he is restrained in his high chair. I sometimes have to use my mobile phone to put on cocomelon (not loud though) so he could sit through the meal. The world doesn't revolve around me and my toddler so therefore I don't expect the world to cater for me. For holidays, I pick family friendly hotels where I feel comfortable with my toddler roaming around exploring, shouting and screaming because it's okay to do that, although I tell him we mustn't shout and disturb people. On the plane, I pick times when my toddler naps even if it's more expensive as I would rather spend half the journey in peace and quiet and entertain my toddler for the rest of the journey which I specifically pick locations that are less than 4 hours air travel so I don't disturb people. What I expect in return is to be respected by others and receive the same consideration especially the 3am loud sex or barging in the room after a drunken night. I make this known during check-in that I don't want to be placed next to couples and I want to be next to families.

YANBU. Its very very clearly stated, and even reading the reviews, it seems emphasis is put on calm and quiet from other guests. Totally wrong place to take a child who is very excitable or loud for whatever reason. My SEN (8) child would likely love it there though, as she loves quiet. My NT (6) boy would likely be the one getting us chucked out!

I wouldn't say this was discrimination tbh. And I think in future it might be worth that parent looking into the kinds of places they are visiting, before going there. There are not many places like this, I could understand the problem if it was a more regular occurance and it became tough to find anywhere that would accomodate families who are a bit more noisy. But its not. This place sounds like heaven for an adult only holiday actually, and have bookmarked it for that very reason, so thanks

The family market is extremely lucrative so the liklihood of every hotel applying this rule is slim to none. Most resorts don't have this type of stringent policy so I think having a few that do actually makes things more inclusive for those with additional needs? A lot of people have disabilities/conditions that make noise intolerable which makes a lot of places inaccessible.

This is also a fantastic point.

One of DDs schoolfriends has huge problems tolerating loud noises. Shes a very quiet child also due to this, understandably. This kind of place would be great for her, where the more..traditional family places would likely be utter hell. A few places existing where screaming and such is not tolerated does make holidays in general more inclusive for people with all kinds of additional needs. Its not like its hard to find a loud, busy family place really, would even maybe be better if a few more places had stricter policies like this really, as usually the quiet type places are adults only, where a lot of children who cannot tolerate noise for various reasons exist and surely they would like to have a holiday too.

DD has issues with noises, especially very shrill piercing random ones. When we have holidayed in the past often her dad tends to keep her brother round the pool for a bit (he loves noise, and is..very energetic to put it mildly!) and I will take DD somewhere quieter, often a less busy beach for the day if she gets a bit overwhelmed. Fairly sure when DD is older and going away without us, she will be specifically looking for places such as this. If they are 'not allowed' because sme people with disabilities cant go there, then that is actively exclusing others with disabilities from ever going away really. There are plenty of places where a more excitable child is accomodated.

Sadly I too often come across these entitled parents. 'My child has special needs so we come first'
No you don't.

The response from the hotel would put me off going there even if I was childfree and hoping for a quiet time.

Who wants to hear that the reason they don't want kids making noise is so that they can listen out for drowning people scattered about the resort and mentioning the deaths in other hotels. Why not just say that this particular resort is aimed at older families and child free adults and be done with it. It all just sounds wrong and not very enticing. Also criticising the mother was not cool. The mother obviously has a difficult time, but she cleary picked the wrong holiday.

There are plenty of resorts where younger kids and families are able to enjoy their holiday and make as much noise as they like. You have to pick the right place for your circumstances at the time.

Resort sound like a dream. Can I go?
I can't believe how entitled some parents are. The resort made it clear of their policies, so why did she book?

This reminds me of an article I read about a woman kicking off at an adults-only hotel because they wouldn’t let her take her baby who was breastfed. She was arguing that breastfeeding was protected, but the fact was, it was the baby who was not allowed into the hotel, not the specific act of breastfeeding.
Pre-children, I would always choose an adults-only holiday, and obviously I can’t now. I still would not take my NT children here, as much as I would love to, because they cannot be quiet, and nor would I expect them to be as I want them to enjoy their holiday. Not all places are suitable for all people. This isn’t discriminating against disabled people, or people who are loud due to a disability, but all loud people.