Anyone else dislike Christmas virtue signaling?

[Twigaletta]

It reminds me of that Fast Show sketch, 'I don't like to talk about my charity work' etc. And then proceed to boast about their efforts.

Examples I've seen this week include staged photos of charity shoe boxes, pleas for funds to 'top up' (and in reality actually fund) some boxes for animals and someone saying they wanted to do something but just needing x, y and z, which in effect meant they supplied the empty box and the wrapping paper with everyone else supplying the contents. Lots of people have 'fallen' for these pleas.

I'm not going to rattle off everything I've done for charity this year because that would be hugely hypocritical. I just get an urgh feeling when I see the virtue signaling on social media.

I felt like that the whole way through lockdown as people kept posting all their good deeds on FB.

@KiposWonderbeasts

You’d bloody hate me!

A local group announced on SM their cash box was stolen. I replied that I would cover half of it.

Why reply? because I wanted them to know they could still spend the money, not be without for tomorrow. Not only find out when checking the bank account. It’s a very seat-of-the-pants operation in an area of great need. I wanted them to not worry and also feel other people in the community had their backs. Having stuff stolen by the very people you’re supporting is devastating.

Half an hour later I thought, Shit, that looks boasting, I should probably delete it. When I went to do so, I saw 3 others had also donated and specified they were inspired by me to do so. So my ‘virtue signalling’ actually had a real benefit for them.

Which is why charities and support groups ask people to publicise donations, it encourages others to do so.

I think donating to charity is absolutely worthwhile and more people should definitely do it. It's great your generosity inspired others but you didn't do it to show off how generous you are.

People who take photos of their good deeds or ask 'innocent' questions about how they can do good deeds are frauds. That's not charity that's virtue signaling.

I have a number of friends who are passionate about certain causes and their posts are worded in a compelling and personal way.

I once saw a bloke in London handing out food to a homeless woman. She thanked him and took the food. He walked off all virtuous and smug and when he was far enough away, she turned her nose up at what he'd given her and lobbed it across the road. It made me chuckle. Perhaps he didn't think to ask what she liked and just assumed she'd be grateful for anything.

I'm not against it. I think it often raises awareness. Obviously there has been so much this year and a lot of people are posting. I've been made aware of quite a few local charities. Just unfollow these people or maybe unfriend them. I'm definitely not against people demonstrating acts of kindness whether they're doing it because they sincerely care or because they want more attention it doesn't bother me, as long as charities are benefiting from it.

@ReluctantEarlyRiser

I once saw a bloke in London handing out food to a homeless woman. She thanked him and took the food. He walked off all virtuous and smug and when he was far enough away, she turned her nose up at what he'd given her and lobbed it across the road. It made me chuckle. Perhaps he didn't think to ask what she liked and just assumed she'd be grateful for anything.

And then the real virtuous virtue signallers would then turn around and be like 'ungrateful bitch!!!!' because her reaction doesn't fit their rhetoric of the 'grateful poor'

I have a couple of good friends who regularly ask for stuff.
The causes are good, so I donate where I can.
I don't have the time, energy or inclination to organise shit, but I'm happy to donate. I'm grateful to those who are happy to give their time, energy and inclination to enable me to donate.

How sad would you have to be to derive pleasure from someone scribbling their name on a bit of cardboard?!

What a nasty thing to say....

I spent this afternoon laboriously writing in long hand Christmas cards to a few aged aunt's and even put in half a dozen pics of us and the dog for good measure. They're not on SM and I did feel good as they plopped into the post box as I know they will love hearing everyone's news (such as it is this year) and seeing photos. They live in Ireland/Spain and tbh I doubt we'll see them any time soon, I love getting cards and photos from friends - not those bloody awful boasting things but a quick note as to how everyone is and pics of growing kids.

We had a granny die 3 years ago and when all her belongings were sorted out I was so chuffed to see that she'd kept ALL the cards, notes, letters, photos etc that we'd sent over the years, made me so happy.

There are fewer and fewer every year of course and our village does a card that everyone donates to and they get their name in, love that idea. I didn't mention any of the above on SM though! That would be weird 😳

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and think ‘Christ, what a cunt’.

😂

If people spent more time doing something good, for someone else, rather than wasting their time on the hell that is social media, either posting about charitable actions, or judging those that do, the world would be a better place.

@user1487194234

I cant stand people who announce on social media "We have decided not to do cards this Christmas, but have donated a sum to [insert charity] instead This annoys me too

We decided not to do gifts this year but did a massive shop for the food bank in our town. I'm not boasting . . .. Seriously some people do genuinely give because they are kind decent compassionate people.

I'd guess it's to encourage others too offer or help if possible, sometimes there could also be other motives, but in the end if various people see what x has achieved and then they decide they will do x too help too, then why is that a bad practice ?

Sometimes I have done an operation xmas child box, have had several items to put in it but asked for other items people didn't want (like mcdonald's toys etc) as these boxes are generally quite hard to finance (as they now want a fiver to send it, when it used to be £2) if you buy everything from new. I'm a bit skint this year and asked people for tiny donatio s but its only for things people didn't want .

I judge, silently. But in the end, as long as a charity gets some funding, that's all that matters.

@ReluctantEarlyRiser

I once saw a bloke in London handing out food to a homeless woman. She thanked him and took the food. He walked off all virtuous and smug and when he was far enough away, she turned her nose up at what he'd given her and lobbed it across the road. It made me chuckle. Perhaps he didn't think to ask what she liked and just assumed she'd be grateful for anything.

That's a weird attitude to have - what makes you think him "walking off all virtuous and smug" was what was really going on there.

Would it have been better for him to stagger away whipping himself and crying so that he wasn't accused of being virtuous?

So now anyone doing something nice for someone else has to be "seen to be" modest and self-depracating, because heaven forfend it might bring about positivity in the help-giver. I'd say that's a whole layer of ridiculous complexity just to please other people's judgmentalness.

And yes I'm toolkit as someone who volunteers for a Charity and I gain a lot of personal pride from helping others, and don't feel any shame in that.

talking not toolkit

I'm not really in love with the attitude on this thread. People are giving time, money, donations and support to charitable causes. They feel good about it and want to share how good it makes them feel or the details of the specific charity because its important to them. I guess a percentage are only doing it for the recognition or the likes, so what? These are all people who over share on social media anyway. These aren't bad people, often they're people who aren't loaded and their donations do mean a lot to them. I'm sure the charities appreciate it. It is possible to scroll past without getting your knickers in a twist or unfollow some of the repeat offenders.

I think it becomes a problem when it destroys the dignity of the receiver. On our local fb page a woman told our whole community that the local homeless (he’s not homeless but is a well known drug addict) cried in appreciation for her charitable donation of food. We are a small community and absolutely everyone knows who he is. Everyone was like, ‘awww hun that’s amaaaazing. Well done you’ but I thought it was absolutely awful posting that.
I kept my thoughts to myself as I’m sure everyone would have just thought I was being a bitch.

Social media is annoying full stop but it’s where people share their lives and if they include things they do for charity I actually find it less annoying than most things, and it can spur me on to do more too. It’s funny because social media is supposedly all about vanity but there is so much ‘reverse vanity’ (if that’s a thing) and judgement on the other side too!

@daisychain01 he was trying to be kind, I get that. But like another poster said, he assumed this woman would be grateful and didn't stop to think she might not like certain things or have preferences. It was a comedic scene. I'm sure I've made similar mistakes before.

@Pippin2028

A charity act is not a charity act when it's boasted about. Especially on social media.

I often post all over social media when I'm volunteering in a charity shop - things like "look at this amazing jewellery" or "lots of bargains in the craft department" - it's not a boasty boasty "look at me and my volunteering", it's showcasing what we have in store and reminding people about the cool stuff we often get donated.

If people think it's showing off, then that's their problem.

I often share charity drives and calls for products. By doing so it is obvious that I am involved but in 2020 with so many people and charities struggling, the critical thing is to do charity work. If you boast or dont boast I dont care....it is the doing that matters!

Personally I do cards for the kids but not for the adults. Birthdays everyone gets a card but I make them myself and time and thought goes into the message I write inside.
I shop at charity shops year round and I have had friends in the past ask me to take them cause I always find the best stuff apparently lol.
Cards for christmas, I'd rather not get tbh but my son (7) loves getting them! So I tell people just to buy for him and then they get kept.

Life is so staged.
Also the trend of recording yourself crying 😢 big lip turned wet tears for SM. 🤦🏼‍♀️

To add i think most charitable acts are done out of kindness as well as a few likes.👍

Thing is, there is one thing that is accepted and usually preferred by charities, and that is money that they can use for their most pressing needs at the time. When people decide they're going to do a good deed by donating boxes of random stuff that hasn't been requested, its more about the giver, not the receiver. But I guess it isn't as "rewarding" taking a screenshot of the tenner you've donated as opposed to ending up in the local paper and on SM, handing over a few boxes. But I'm also of the "don't let the right hand see what the left hand gives" camp where you donate money when you can, to who you can, and don't ask for thanks.