Anyone else dislike Christmas virtue signaling?

[Twigaletta]

It reminds me of that Fast Show sketch, 'I don't like to talk about my charity work' etc. And then proceed to boast about their efforts.

Examples I've seen this week include staged photos of charity shoe boxes, pleas for funds to 'top up' (and in reality actually fund) some boxes for animals and someone saying they wanted to do something but just needing x, y and z, which in effect meant they supplied the empty box and the wrapping paper with everyone else supplying the contents. Lots of people have 'fallen' for these pleas.

I'm not going to rattle off everything I've done for charity this year because that would be hugely hypocritical. I just get an urgh feeling when I see the virtue signaling on social media.

I accept that many people dislike the term virtue signalling but by those who use it, it's used to mean people who do "good deeds" purely to seek affirmation from others, and for their own gratification. Raising money or giving money to a charity for personal reasons is completely not "virtue signalling".

People accusing other people of virtue signalling ("they're SO not making a donation!") are utter twats and calling their friends liars. They'd be better off deleting those friends off their lists so they can't see it and get their judgy pants in a twist over it.

And the automatic conflation of "those who say they're not sending cards for environmental reasons then post pictures of them with their plastic twat" commenters can get in the sea (well, not really because that would be an environmental disaster, OTOH shark food... hmmm) because
a) you have no proof that it is exactly the same people (there may be overlap in a Venn diagram, there may not)
b) you can't control what people give you
c) fuck off

I was just ranting to my mum about this last night!

I am absolutely fine with people not wanting to send cards for environmental, personal or whatever reasons. I certainly don't think badly of anyone. I only send a dozen or so to close family and friends myself, but I know it means a lot to some of the older people I send to. It brightens up the place for some who can't afford many Christmas decoration and shows you're thinking of them.

However, the Christmas card SM donation announcement gets my goat - So you're taking something away for the person who would have received the card, not in fact losing out on anything yourself? How very generous of you

If you want to help, ask someone to gift to a charity instead of giving you a present.

Hang on, if I think someone is virtue-signalling, that doesn't mean I think they're lying - they don't automatically go together. Although I think some virtue signalling (like companies shamelessly jumping on the BLM bandwagon while not actually giving a crap) is surface level only, I accept that someone who says they are giving to charity probably is.

What I don't like is the way it's done to get attention and praise, it just feels so icky. And the other version is virtue-signalling to stay ahead in a purity spiral race, and slap others down by telling them what they can and can't say etc.

And like so many things, if "virtue-signalling" becomes an insult that's used to silence people, than that's just as bad. I hate virtue-signalling, humble-braggy cringy mccringe boasting. But I don't go around telling people they're doing it - I stay out of it! Noticing it and not liking it doesn't mean you have to weigh in IYSWIM.

You’d bloody hate me!

A local group announced on SM their cash box was stolen. I replied that I would cover half of it.

Why reply? because I wanted them to know they could still spend the money, not be without for tomorrow. Not only find out when checking the bank account. It’s a very seat-of-the-pants operation in an area of great need. I wanted them to not worry and also feel other people in the community had their backs. Having stuff stolen by the very people you’re supporting is devastating.

Half an hour later I thought, Shit, that looks boasting, I should probably delete it. When I went to do so, I saw 3 others had also donated and specified they were inspired by me to do so. So my ‘virtue signalling’ actually had a real benefit for them.

Which is why charities and support groups ask people to publicise donations, it encourages others to do so.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

I do agree about cards. Saying postage is just too expensive now is one thing, but piously saying you’re saving the planet, and/or giving the money to charity instead, is quite another. If you just can’t be arsed to write them - we all know it can feel like just another chore - please be honest enough to say so.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

I agree with this. Lots of reasons why people don't do cards - no problem

Donate to charity - great

But most of the people I know happily admit that they just don't want the bother of sending cards. They dress it up as being all virtuous that they're giving to charity. They could easily afford to do both, so it's not either / or. I just wish they'd be more honest !

@KiposWonderbeasts I dont think that’s what people are talking about though - in your case you were replying directly a post from a charity who were in trouble, offering your help (which is a lovely thing to do btw).

Virtue signalling would be if you then did a big braggy post on your own page talking about how you’d saved the day by offering money (maybe with a photo with someone from the charity when you went to hand the money over).

mandarin and fluffybutter

Yup. A little rant about 'virtue signaling' and this in the same breath from the OP:

I'm not going to rattle off everything I've done for charity this year because that would be hugely hypocritical

I had to laugh.

So long as they're doing something good, I don't really mind. If anything, I feel sorry for people who feel the need to boast about it.

I couldn’t be bothered to do cards this year, and it’s such a waste anyway as they just get binned in Jan. my group of friends and I decided to donate to the food bank this year instead of doing cards for each other. We didn’t post about it on Facebook because literally no one cares! It was more of a “hey none of us can be doing with cards this year so here’s what we’ll do instead”. Absolutely no need for a fanfare.

Yes Op!!! And yes to @RosesforMama - why don’t you send a meaningful card AND donate to charity and not tell anyone what you’re doing eh 😅 Nothing quite like good deeds announced all over social media 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

@KiposWonderbeasts I think what you did is something different- you responded to something you’d seen in a useful way. You didn’t go out of your way to make sure everyone knew what you’d done. Doing good things isn’t wrong preaching and bragging is.

Couldn't agree more than with those irritated by the 'we're not sending cards this year, we're donating to charity instead' lot. The people I've seen do this are well able to do both.

It’s annoying when they prefer doing that to not voting Tory.

i bought some brand new in packaging transformer robots from an auction (online cant go there at the moment due to covid) intending them as presents for my grandsons when i got them four of them were the same robots so i gave him the ones that were different and admit i went on our local page to ask if there were any groups doing toys for kids this christmas not to be virtous but because i genuinly wanted them to go somehwere they would be appreciated i didnt take them to the charity shop where i work because the chances are some reseller would have bought them to make a profit

@Feministicon

I hate giving or receiving Christmas cards, waste of space that they are.

I am with you! I actually have a few boxes of Christmas cards, mainly for my son to send but I've made it clear this year that nobody is getting one and I don;t want any. I don't have anywhere to put them and I refuse to stick them on my door or wall. My nearest and dearest will get a gift with a gift tag so they can take the gift tag as their card too haha

Nah doesn't rile me at all. I just think "meh, good for them". I do my bit where I can and when the opportunity arises. If they feel the need to post on social media then that's their choice, hopefully it might inspire someone else.

The bible quite clearly states that your giving should be done in secret so only your father in heaven and you know about it so you honor your father in heaven. Before someone says your getting all Christian about this, are we not supposed to be celebrating the birth of Christ Jesus at this time.

Just do the cards AND the charity. I don’t know why people feel they have to choose one or the other; so they can boast, I guess.

There is a woman on my local Facebook page who is constantly asking stuff for attention or praise. I just don’t see how more people don’t see through it. The things she does are nice but she does it for attention. People who do good and have to tell everyone are narcissistic in my opinion. “Does anyone know a local family in need I can give xyz to” “I’m doing boxes for homeless people and need donations of xyz” “me and dc are doing whatever for donations to .....” She dressed her kid up in army gear for Poppy Day and publicly posted photos of him saluting. I just find her unbearable. Makes me feel nasty but I can’t help it.

A friend of Facebook felt the need to post that she had left a big tin of Celebrations in their porch so that delivery drivers could help themselves to a chocolate when they dropped off a parcel. It’s maybe a nice well-meant gesture but she also posted a photo of one days worth of deliveries and my first reaction was to be slightly appalled at the packaging her many many parcels entailed! There were at least 10-15 boxes. So the virtue signalling backfired a bit (to me anyway).

@JeansNTees

Its the calls for people to donate x to local hospital/food bank/whatever but thru the person. So people give her loads of food, toys, whatever then she gets to take them and collect the praise which she then shares on social media with a picture of her doing her good deed. There's been more of these since Covid. I guess some people are desperate for attention and praise.

This basically my 10 year old. She leafletted our road and is putting out collection boxes. All her own idea.

Is she virtue signalling? Does it count if she doesn’t have social media?

Funny this should pop up on my emails today of all days, as usually my Facebook timeline is mundane normal shit. Today however there was a photo at the top of my feed of a woman I know, smiling with a load of presents in her arms in a cheesy pose.

She had shared a post written by the charity which said how wonderful she is, followed by her saying how proud she is of herself.
It had about 100 likes, and about 60+ comments all saying what a good person she is, and how proud they all are of her.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and think ‘Christ, what a cunt’.

@DENGREEN

Just do the cards AND the charity. I don’t know why people feel they have to choose one or the other; so they can boast, I guess.

Because otherwise you can't pretend you are sacrificing something 😁 I do both. I am lamely sensible. 😁

People who suggest you donate your stuff annoy me. One year I received a lot of sweets and chocolate as Christmas Presents. Enough to last for months and months at a bar or so a week - just for a bit of fun I posted a picture so that the leader of an exercise group I was attending could see it and have a bit of a laugh - the number of people that commented that if it was theirs they would donate it, blimey, it was only a few boxes and bars of chocolate, not the entire stock of Thornton’s, and I wasn't going to scarf it all down in a week. I thought donate your own stuff, crack on, don't virtue signal that YOU would donate it. Maybe they donate all their Christmas gifts, how rude to the gifter.

I hate this too,
Particularly the
" Instead of sending Christmas cards this year I've decided to donate to charity"
I always suspect they never actually get round to the charity donation