Anyone else dislike Christmas virtue signaling?

[Twigaletta]

It reminds me of that Fast Show sketch, 'I don't like to talk about my charity work' etc. And then proceed to boast about their efforts.

Examples I've seen this week include staged photos of charity shoe boxes, pleas for funds to 'top up' (and in reality actually fund) some boxes for animals and someone saying they wanted to do something but just needing x, y and z, which in effect meant they supplied the empty box and the wrapping paper with everyone else supplying the contents. Lots of people have 'fallen' for these pleas.

I'm not going to rattle off everything I've done for charity this year because that would be hugely hypocritical. I just get an urgh feeling when I see the virtue signaling on social media.

I don’t send Christmas cards, mainly for environmental reasons. Encouraged the kids this year to send to those they want to send them to not the whole class or nursery list. Sick of hearing about at the school gates or seeing on social media all the good deeds they are all doing this last week and in coming weeks. We do different stuff donations, community and volunteering and have for a long time but not once mentioned it, now everyone puts it out there publicly in a game of one-upmanship and virtue signaling. It’s as bad as posting all the stay home, save lives shite and banging your pots every week whilst you flout the rules and have done since March. I couldn’t give a fig what you do until you post your virtue signaling all over social media, then your double standards irritate.

I got fed up with the Christmas card charity donation thing that I shared a meme saying 'I'm not sending Christmas cards this year. Instead I'm using the money to buy gin.'

I'm not. But I suspect that's probably closer to the truth for some people. Send them, don't send them. Donate, don't donate. Whatever.

@Calmandmeasured1

Anyone who tells you (or in the case of celebrities leaks it to the press) of any charitable donations or acts they do really puts my back up. Just donate or do the charitable act and keep schtum!

I’m not sure about this. Yes, giving to charity is a personal act, but how many times do you read people saying “X celebrity has so money, why don’t they donate to charity?”

It’s kind of lose/lose.

A colleague has posted a photo of the hamper we got as an xmas bonus, asking if anyone knows a family in need who would benefit. A couple of people have suggested putting it in a food bank box, she replied that she would rather it went directly to someone. Eh?!
Honestly, youd think shes donated a kidney going by some of the other comments.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I cant stand people who announce on social media "We have decided not to do cards this Christmas, but have donated a sum to [insert charity] instead"

Ahhhh here we go again.

Every fucking year I get moaned at for not sending cards, in fact quite a few people I know do.

We don't send cards out because, as bereaved parents, we don't wish to write cards out for Christmas and miss our kids names off them. It feels awful. We can't include our kids names for obvious reasons.

Some people choose to announce it on their social media to save getting moaned at and make a donation to charity, some don't donate and some just take getting digs aimed at them and quietly make a donation.

The insistence every fucking year that it is down to laziness is, quite frankly, insulting, and small minded.

People quite often have valid reasons that you aren't privvy to, and if they chose to donate and tell people there are often reasons for that too.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Sorry for your loss, and thank you for highlighting this. It hadn't really occurred to me that some people might find Christmas cards upsetting. MN can be a helpful way to learn

The worst for me is people deciding to take a homeless person for some food and document the whole thing on Facebook.
It gives me the absolute fucking rage. Do they have no sense of how awful being made to 'perform' for some food would be for the person.
If you are doing a 'good deed' for the attention it brings you then the deed is just a 'look at me tax'.

@RosesforMama

I cant stand people who announce on social media "We have decided not to do cards this Christmas, but have donated a sum to [insert charity] instead"

Just admit you were too lazy to write cards and have (probably) assuaged your guilt by binging a tenner to the RSPCA (who you could have supported by buying their cards....)

I know someone who donates Christmas card money to charity instead. They do more than 'bung a tenner' to the nearest charity box, and quite honestly I agree with their ethos that Christmas cards are a huge waste of paper and the energy it takes to send them. I've drastically reduced the amount I send every year, and really dont care for them cluttering up my surfaces for weeks on end in return, falling like dominoes at any sign of a draft.

@RosesforMama

I cant stand people who announce on social media "We have decided not to do cards this Christmas, but have donated a sum to [insert charity] instead"

Just admit you were too lazy to write cards and have (probably) assuaged your guilt by binging a tenner to the RSPCA (who you could have supported by buying their cards....)

This! It always comes across so stealth-boasty.

I’m torn because it does make me laugh when people show off there charitable acts but if the feeling of smugness/pride/virtue keeps them donating etc then I think it’s worth the inner cringe

Re the Christmas Card thing, if someone put we are not sending cards for personal reasons I would be neither here nor there about it. Its the instead we have donated to charity and then the 'proof' being shared as well.

It's like all the comments we have about how amazing they are doing the reverse advent calendar, instead of a cheeky elf. Do it without the show, yes share the idea to do it but there is no need to show daily pictures of you adding items to a box!

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I cant stand people who announce on social media "We have decided not to do cards this Christmas, but have donated a sum to [insert charity] instead"

Ahhhh here we go again.

Every fucking year I get moaned at for not sending cards, in fact quite a few people I know do.

We don't send cards out because, as bereaved parents, we don't wish to write cards out for Christmas and miss our kids names off them. It feels awful. We can't include our kids names for obvious reasons.

Some people choose to announce it on their social media to save getting moaned at and make a donation to charity, some don't donate and some just take getting digs aimed at them and quietly make a donation.

The insistence every fucking year that it is down to laziness is, quite frankly, insulting, and small minded.

People quite often have valid reasons that you aren't privvy to, and if they chose to donate and tell people there are often reasons for that too.

That's different, of course. I've only just seen your post and I'm so sorry for your losses.

I always do my good deeds anonymously but I was recently told you shouldn't do this because the charities do very well from the publicity, when one person publishes that they did x good deed, y people will follow, doubly so when it's a celebrity.

So it could actually be argued that they do extra good by sharing.

A woman I knew kept posting about how she had bought food for homeless people. She was clearly doing it for the glory.

Drove me mad.

People who donate "Christmas card money" are far less annoying than people who think sending cards is somehow morally superior.

Any cards we get go straight in the bin. Complete fucking waste of time and paper.

@LuckyNumberThirteen

A woman I knew kept posting about how she had bought food for homeless people. She was clearly doing it for the glory.

Drove me mad.

She probably was but the right people benefited so that’s why it can’t be too bad a thing surely.

[quote RosesforMama]@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult
The friends I know who make this announcement are, very luckily, not bereaved parents and are just disguising their laziness in virtue.

I accept that for some people there may be very valid reasons.[/quote]
I'm not lazy. I just place no value on scribbling on a bit of card because it's Christmas.

I totally agree with th4 "not sending cards but giving to charity" thing. Why are you giving up something that causes you work, but gives pleasure to other people? I'd be so much more impressed if you gave up your turkey, booze and expensive presents to make a donation.

As my DH put it today "This year I am giving up buying anyone a drink and making a donation to charity"

Receiving cards doesn’t give me pleasure 😂

@FuzzyPuffling

I totally agree with th4 "not sending cards but giving to charity" thing. Why are you giving up something that causes you work, but gives pleasure to other people? I'd be so much more impressed if you gave up your turkey, booze and expensive presents to make a donation.

As my DH put it today "This year I am giving up buying anyone a drink and making a donation to charity"

How sad would you have to be to derive pleasure from someone scribbling their name on a bit of cardboard?!

How sad would you have to be to derive pleasure from someone scribbling their name on a bit of cardboard?!

Because, particularly this year, you might feel very isolated and lonely, and derive pleasure from the idea that someone is thinking of you.

Honestly I don't care. If people do it for attention or validation then they've got something lacking. But a worthy cause benefits so I'm OK with it. The posts may inspire or motivate other people to donate too.

@FuzzyPuffling

How sad would you have to be to derive pleasure from someone scribbling their name on a bit of cardboard?!

Because, particularly this year, you might feel very isolated and lonely, and derive pleasure from the idea that someone is thinking of you.

I prefer to contact friends and relatives in a more personal way to show them I'm thinking of them.

Buying a generic box of cards an sticking my name on them isn't exactly being thoughtful.

I hate posts that are offering things for free but they must go to the 'needy'.....who determines who is needy and who isn't???

I contributed to The Share The Dignity campaign this year. They specifically ask for a SM share of a pic of your bags to try and spread the word.

Don't be such a judgy carmudgeon.

Some people don't even think of doing things like charitable donations instead of cards. So if they see someone writing about it, maybe they might think "great idea, most of my friends / family are on fb i can say merry christmas for free and make a donation"

Same with gift boxes etc. Sounds to me like a lot of projection going on here.

And, of course, there is a philosophical argument that there is no actual altruistic action - because if you derive even one iota of pleasure from it, it negates the altruism. And yet people do charitable things all the time and it benefits people.

How do you know they don't donate? why be so shitty as to practically come out and call your non-card sending friends liars? should they post the charity receipt? that would get the judgy pants hoiked right back up into the collective bum crack again, right?