Anyone else dislike Christmas virtue signaling?

[Twigaletta]

It reminds me of that Fast Show sketch, 'I don't like to talk about my charity work' etc. And then proceed to boast about their efforts.

Examples I've seen this week include staged photos of charity shoe boxes, pleas for funds to 'top up' (and in reality actually fund) some boxes for animals and someone saying they wanted to do something but just needing x, y and z, which in effect meant they supplied the empty box and the wrapping paper with everyone else supplying the contents. Lots of people have 'fallen' for these pleas.

I'm not going to rattle off everything I've done for charity this year because that would be hugely hypocritical. I just get an urgh feeling when I see the virtue signaling on social media.

I find it interesting what gets called 'virtue signalling'.

@JeansNTees

Its the calls for people to donate x to local hospital/food bank/whatever but thru the person. So people give her loads of food, toys, whatever then she gets to take them and collect the praise which she then shares on social media with a picture of her doing her good deed. There's been more of these since Covid. I guess some people are desperate for attention and praise.

I have never encountered this until this Christmas. I have a friend who has set up a collection. How lovely I think, I had no idea he was so involved with this local charity. Except it soon becomes clear that his (undisguised) motivation is to attract the attention of a high-profile celebrity recently linked to this charity. It then turns out that the charity does not actually have an appeal and no way of accepting or distributing the items he’s collected. He now plans to take them to the nearest hospital on Christmas Eve and “give them out”

I don’t mind the Christmas cards too much (although I do wonder if they ever give the money they would have spent to charity?) For me that would be about £3-£5!

My personal bugbear is when people fundraise “for charity “ so that they can go abroad and climb a mountain or do charity work or something similar, when it’s actually that they just want people to part fund their trip. My friends older kids have both gone abroad to Africa, Indonesia etc in the past to do this charity work, and fundraised for their trip, which was a trip of a lifetime.

I think it’s a personality disorder. Doing nice things purely for the way it makes you feel or how many people can tell you how wonderful you are. People can be kind and charitable without having to constantly blow their own trumpet. I have several direct debits for charities close to my heart. I have never once shouted about it. Here is ok as it’s anonymous! However charities do benefit from it so all good there.

My friend just sent me this as I mentioned this to her this week.

@Twigaletta

My friend just sent me this as I mentioned this to her this week.

Yes, I agree that person is being a knob.

And thanks for being nice about my SM donation/announcement, all.

Or ever better virtue signaling and humble bragging, a la "I know this has been a hard year for many, but for those of you in a position to help, I have __ and recommend you do the same."

BARF.

[quote ReluctantEarlyRiser]@daisychain01 he was trying to be kind, I get that. But like another poster said, he assumed this woman would be grateful and didn't stop to think she might not like certain things or have preferences. It was a comedic scene. I'm sure I've made similar mistakes before. [/quote]
So it went from "I once saw a bloke in London..." ie someone you had never met before and absolutely no idea who he was or what his intentions were, to "... he assumed this woman would be grateful".

Check yourself on this, you've stated something as fact, he assumed, as a criticism, but that's exactly what you're doing here. The difference is that he may well have had genuine altruistic intentions but you're assuming negativity about someone you only glanced towards in the street.

That reminds me of the phrase 'do it because it'll look good on your CV'. I absolutely disagree with this principle. I want a CV to reflect a person rather than a tick list of 'good deeds'. Doing something charitable because it looks good on your CV is not very charitable.

This thread is something else, it really is. My only hope is that it speeds up the demise of the fucking vile phrase 'virtue signalling.'

I have a friend who does stuff like this, she recently posted that she was so proud of her three year old because she saw a police car parked outside and wanted to give them a card for keeping us safe, and then took obligatory photos for Instagram. I’m all for giving / nice gestures but it really winds me up when people’s motive isn’t the right one!

I don’t mind the ones who announce no Christmas cards; as previous posters have said, it’s a way of letting everyone know not to expect one. I also don’t mind the charity ones for birthdays etc. as even if they might sometimes come across as a bit braggy, they’re often not meant to be, they just encourage others to donate too and the organisations which may be able to do the most good will benefit. I’ve bought the chickens/goats etc. as presents for teachers when my kids were little, and most seemed happy with that (I would be as a TA!). But I agree with others about hating to see people filming themselves giving food to homeless people or posting on SM saying they want to give to someone ‘in need’ - it seems to be asking for praise and validation for themselves while simultaneously publicising someone else’s desperation and potentially making them feel humiliated. If you know someone in need, just give them the toys/clothes/food parcel without making a song and dance out of it; if you don’t know anyone personally, it’s easy to find organisations which can take your stuff and distribute it far more efficiently and confidentially than you, while at the same time probably being able to signpost or refer people to other help which may also be needed.

I’m all for giving / nice gestures but it really winds me up when people’s motive isn’t the right one

I wish I too had the magical ability to always know what people's inner motives are from a FB post, thus giving me the right to judge them

@Grace58

I have a friend who does stuff like this, she recently posted that she was so proud of her three year old because she saw a police car parked outside and wanted to give them a card for keeping us safe, and then took obligatory photos for Instagram. I’m all for giving / nice gestures but it really winds me up when people’s motive isn’t the right one!

I hate those ones.

I'm on a local group that distributes things to people who need them in the community and one particular awful post had the woman saying she bought a bunch of sweets for a child who had nothing for Christmas and her toddler wanted to give them over in person. Someone accepted the sweets and had the handover photographed and put on Facebook.

@2020Roo

The bible quite clearly states that your giving should be done in secret so only your father in heaven and you know about it so you honor your father in heaven. Before someone says your getting all Christian about this, are we not supposed to be celebrating the birth of Christ Jesus at this time.

Perfect.

IF you are Christian.

FFS

Oh the I’ve collected all these things where can I take them . Take yourself to google attention seeking twat.

All of the posting/bragging about charity reminds me of something my father used to say...now, bear in mind, donating to charity has nothing to do with religion, necessarily, but I think the basic meaning holds true:

"Those who wear their religion on their sleeves generally do so because there is no room for it in their hearts."

They make a show of their giving because it comes from a place of seeking approval rather than generosity.

Can't stand any 'virtue signalling' at all. If you're genuinely concerned then go and do something nice and don't plaster it all over social media. Homeless, elderly, whatever... If I see you on social media then you can kiss my arse.

I work in corporate comms and have spent a lot of time working with charity partnerships, including Trussel Trust, Fareshare and local food banks.

I can tell you now that pretty much every charity loves people sharing and raising awareness on social media, because they have no marketing budget. I have spent a lot of time discussing with charities how they can use social media for minimal cost.

This thread is pretty sneering. If anything commenters are also virtue signalling how they are better because they don’t talk about their donations.

When I see posts about people donating to charity rather than buying cards, then I assume they have a budget but want to support the charity. I also guess they don't want anyone to feel snubbed their card giving not being reciprocal, hence sharing the information. Tagging or naming the charity is also doing a little bit to raise awareness.
I am glad not to be so judgemental and negative as the majority of mumsnet.

14:38Riojasmoothy

Exactly. In other words, you're sane.

I bought sausage roll crisps, 5p to charity 👍😂

Caplin out of interest do you discuss with the Food Banks want they want/need before offering to support them? I don't wish to sound ungrateful but I volunteer at a FB and we are inundated with donations at Christmas- we are drowning in mince pies and have to run round finding extra storage space (which we have to pay for) or someone else to give them to. All sorts of people are well meaning but suddenly think, on 10th December or similar that it would be 'nice' to give us stuff when realistically help throughout the whole year would be much more appreciated. There are only so many selection boxes we can give out. Last year we had about 200 Chocolate advent calendars donated to our very small FB - we only have (thankfully) approx 20 children to support. And most FBs are run by a very small team of volunteers so don't have the capacity to deliver stuff to other FBs etc.

@Mamanyt

All of the posting/bragging about charity reminds me of something my father used to say...now, bear in mind, donating to charity has nothing to do with religion, necessarily, but I think the basic meaning holds true:

"Those who wear their religion on their sleeves generally do so because there is no room for it in their hearts."

They make a show of their giving because it comes from a place of seeking approval rather than generosity.

This is a great quote from your father. Very wise and very true

I kind of get what you mean - however, when people do the "we're not doing cards this year, we're giving to charity" I tend to think Great! I don't have to write them a card :D