AIBU to have just about fucking had it with men?

[PurpleFeather]

I’m sure some of you will pile on me to tell me “it’s not all men”, but right now I don’t fucking care.

Woke up to read about more horrific sexual attacks on women along my favourite running route (there have been many lately).

Dealt with some horrific sexism in my work meeting today (a “hilarious” conversation between male members of staff as to why men are just so much smarter than women).

Ended the day by receiving an e-mail from someone I line manage about how she approached inappropriately by a customer today.

So we can’t run safely, we can’t do our jobs and be seen as “equal”, and we can’t serve customers without getting harassed.

Today I am so so so angry. I am done with making excuses for men, and giving them the benefit of the doubt (“He probably brushed past me by accident”, and “he was only joking really”, etc). I am just totally, utterly done with male privilege and male violence rearing it’s fucking ugly head in every area of my life.

Fuck the patriarchy!

@Wheresmykimchi I actually really appreciate that. It seems like you are at least willing to listen now, I think that's a good thing even if you don't change your mind/stance.

I often think that if it were not for law and order, many men would happily assault, rape and murder women with impunity.

Pedophilia, rape, human trafficking of children and women to satisfy male demand, intel's, high school shootings etc. How can anyone deny that men, as a group, are dangerous, violent and have a very dark and disturbing sexual nature?

How about men work to prove they're not like that?

This ^

Many do with alleged law and order so yes without it would be terrifying. Then again without we could quietly take rapists out and dispose of pedophiles.

@shamalidacdak

I often think that if it were not for law and order, many men would happily assault, rape and murder women with impunity.

Erm they do anyways?

Very few rape cases get reported, out of those very few get prosecuted,out of those even fewer get a guilty verdict.

Just a few years ago a man literally used "I tripped and fell" excuse successfully.
What law and order?

Very few rape cases get reported, out of those very few get prosecuted, out of those even fewer get a guilty verdict.

In the UK, rape is de facto legal. It's a grim reality but it's reality nonetheless.

@ScienceSensibility - interesting how it's so often bullies who themselves cry 'bully' in the belief (sometimes warranted) that it puts them automatically in the right. Classic DARVO.

@LadyFlumpalot

With regards to female on male violence. Yes it happens but it is rarely as severe as male on female.

My DH is not much taller than me and doesn't weigh that much more. I can squeeze his hand with all my strength and it's comfortable to him, he squeezes mine with barely a fraction of his and it hurts like hell. If he wanted to pin me down and hurt me I wouldn't stand a chance. If I wanted to hurt him I'd have to incapacitate him first as I couldn't pin him down.

Also, I don't think violence is ever funny, no matter who is doing it. I reckon the only people who think it's funny when a women batters a man are the same people who think it's ok to rape a woman because she's got a short skirt on.

Any domestic violence is unacceptable.

Women who hit men, or throw things at them, are abusers unless it's purely in self defence. It's important to recognise that.

A PS for ScienceSensibility - I've just realised how my post was worded, and for the avoidance of doubt I'm not suggesting you're the one doing the bullying but completely agreeing with your point. Sorry for how that might have come across!

Very few rape cases get reported, out of those very few get prosecuted,out of those even fewer get a guilty verdict.

It's devastating that so few get prosecuted, but it's sadly a nature of the crime. One person's word against another isn't enough in a court of law. There has to be the evidence.

It's when I read things like a judge during sentencing calling a 12 yo victim of a group of adult males gang raping her in a stairwell of her block of flats that I think maybe there is a place for a very discrete group of well trained female assassins.

Like that's the justice system? Calling children provocative or mature for their age or whatever apologist excuse on behalf of the adult males who have brutalised them? Or recurrent sexual offenders repeatedly being released until they finally escalate to murder.

It's endless slaps in the face. To then be met with women calling us sexist or equating to complaining about male violence to actual violence when women try to talk about it together and vent or commiserate or just plain not gaslight each other is low.

@shamalidacdak

I often think that if it were not for law and order, many men would happily assault, rape and murder women with impunity.

It’s a frightening thought, but a valid one.

I often think men should be banned from carrying weapons but all women should be armed with nice revolvers. Let them feel the fear for a bit.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

A PS for ScienceSensibility - I've just realised how my post was worded, and for the avoidance of doubt I'm not suggesting you're the one doing the bullying but completely agreeing with your point. Sorry for how that might have come across!

No worries, I got your meaning. And you’re right, those quick on the draw with the ‘bully’ allegation are using it as a manipulation to shut down a discussion not going their way!

@User158340

Very few rape cases get reported, out of those very few get prosecuted,out of those even fewer get a guilty verdict.

It's devastating that so few get prosecuted, but it's sadly a nature of the crime. One person's word against another isn't enough in a court of law. There has to be the evidence.

No it's not. It's due to the nature of society and the legal system.

Even when there is compelling evidence, if there is a guilty verdict the sentencing is risible. Like Brock Turner for example.

Or "sex game gone wrong" used as a legitimate defence for murder.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

Definitely in some cases it's outrageous that rapists get away with it given the evidence (often the rich and powerful who tend to get away with anything).

If it's just one word against another the it's not going to go for prosecution.

To the person talking about womens refuges, it has been pointed out time and again. That at least they exist, men don,t have them and yes there is a need. (although no one is claiming to the same extent.)

Also for all this male abusers how many have women enablers. Ok the Myra Hindleys and Rosemary wests may be few and far between but how many women turn away,? How many belittle.? How many say it,s normal? (all forms of abuse.).

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@GlummyMcGlummerson I can't quote a quote but a poster said that women can be aggressive and cause trauma and you said link or its BS.[/quote]
Because they said women harm "as much as men" which isn't at all true

@User158340

Very few rape cases get reported, out of those very few get prosecuted,out of those even fewer get a guilty verdict.

It's devastating that so few get prosecuted, but it's sadly a nature of the crime. One person's word against another isn't enough in a court of law. There has to be the evidence.

A woman's testimony IS evidence

@june2007

To the person talking about womens refuges, it has been pointed out time and again. That at least they exist, men don,t have them and yes there is a need. (although no one is claiming to the same extent.)

Also for all this male abusers how many have women enablers. Ok the Myra Hindleys and Rosemary wests may be few and far between but how many women turn away,? How many belittle.? How many say it,s normal? (all forms of abuse.).

Women have refuges because of the work ,fights and sacrifices of other women. Men could do the same if they so wish.

You're also missing a pretty relevant point. The only reason there's such a for refuges and shelters for women is BECAUSE of men and their violence.

Most of the time is male on female but some women go to refuges because of a female abuser.

If men need dv shelters why dont they open some?
You know like women did.
Off their own backs, their own time effort and often their own money.
No man just handed them over.
Women worked for them.
So why dont men do the same?
Or you set one up if you're so bothered?
The rest of us are talking about the frustrations and fears of living in a patriarchy.
Not sure why it always has to become what about men though. So boring.
What about them?
A lot of us are past caring frankly.
And I'll guarantee you now theres no men handwringing on our behalf on mens forums.
Embarrassing.

@june2007

Most of the time is male on female but some women go to refuges because of a female abuser.

Most of the time people die because of fires that aren't natural,but sometimes spontaneous combustion happens.

Not sure why it always has to become what about men though. So boring. What about them?

Its because the NAMALT-types can't bear the thought that some women, somewhere, might have a discussion that doesn't centre the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of men. If your conversation did not have the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of men at the very heart of it, was it even a conversation worth having? Its like me-railing on a grand scale, we could call it male-railing.

Accidently on purpose are you saying gay domestic violence is as unlikely as human combustion?

And if you think women had a trouble getting refuges imagine how hard it would be for men. Especially with the attitudes displayed on here.

To the person talking about womens refuges, it has been pointed out time and again. That at least they exist, men don,t have them and yes there is a need. (although no one is claiming to the same extent.)

Women fought and campaigned for those refuges. And, incidentally, are now facing the very real possibility of having these infiltrated by owners of penises who have decided to say they're a woman. Even victims of rape and DV are apparently now not sacrosanct. We're expected to roll over and relinquish our few remaining safety refuges at the whims of male-bodied people (at the expense of women who have likely already been harmed owing to the imposition of these bodies on them).

Men want refuges? Then they can campaign for them as we have done. I am not a support human; it is not the job of women to fight everybody else's battles for them.

I can't even articulate how angry posts like this make me. Every. Single. Fucking. Time. women speak of being violated, more women are crawling out of the woodwork to ask 'but what about the men?'

I'd tell you exactly what you could do with that idea but I'd be risking a deletion.

Well the transgender issue is whole other can of worms. (And I totally agree with you on that.)