AIBU to have just about fucking had it with men?

[PurpleFeather]

I’m sure some of you will pile on me to tell me “it’s not all men”, but right now I don’t fucking care.

Woke up to read about more horrific sexual attacks on women along my favourite running route (there have been many lately).

Dealt with some horrific sexism in my work meeting today (a “hilarious” conversation between male members of staff as to why men are just so much smarter than women).

Ended the day by receiving an e-mail from someone I line manage about how she approached inappropriately by a customer today.

So we can’t run safely, we can’t do our jobs and be seen as “equal”, and we can’t serve customers without getting harassed.

Today I am so so so angry. I am done with making excuses for men, and giving them the benefit of the doubt (“He probably brushed past me by accident”, and “he was only joking really”, etc). I am just totally, utterly done with male privilege and male violence rearing it’s fucking ugly head in every area of my life.

Fuck the patriarchy!

Well to be honest I’ve had it with people who only see one side of things.

Coming from a middle aged woman with a brilliant grandad, a dad that did everything and a very caring husband.

My experience of women were an abusive mother and bitchy girls at school.

I agree there are privileged men out there but having that as your complete view of 51% of the population is very narrow, negative and harming.

Maybe start reading the happy newspaper, volunteering, looking for male positive news stories, start meditating and yoga

@ilovepuggies I don't think all men are that bad or that all women are good. Your mother sounds like a case in point. However, your comment about the girls school does back up what I said before about what "bad" for a woman v "bad" for a man looks like. I have met bitchy women before. I have also met physically violent, sexually violent, you name it men. The men that are only bitchy/a bit catty are usually seen as the GOOD ones. Women who are bitchy are the bad ones.

I'm glad you started this topic. I'm in my mid 30s and the men I have met in everyday life seem to be porn obsessed, video game playing teenagers.

Women who show no interest in them, in part due to their limited hobbys, dull conversations and over sexual tones - simply do not like 'Nice guy's'

An acquaintance of mine, lives at home, plays video games, no real knowledge, ambition etc (mid 30s) actually believes he has caused chance with pretty women who clearly work out, and take care of their appearance who are in their early 20s ... Because if course this is the narrative porn has given them.

They have grown up with this porn star false image of women... Heaven forbid a woman won't fuck them on first sight.

Dull dull misogynistic and fucking dull

@ilovepuggies so because you have had a happy life and good experiences with men all the women who are Killed,beaten, raped, threatened, intimidated and sexually assualted by men need to just think happy thoughts and do yoga?

Incidentally, being angry is not a bad thing. It means people still have hope things can change. Its when people are no longer angry and in despair that you will know they have truly given up.

Well to be honest I’ve had it with people who only see one side of things

Well aren't you doing that if you ignore all the real life experiences women have here and replace them only with your experience of your good male family?

but having that as your complete view of 51% of the population

I don't think anyone has actually said this is their complete view of half the population.

@ilovepuggies

Well to be honest I’ve had it with people who only see one side of things.

Coming from a middle aged woman with a brilliant grandad, a dad that did everything and a very caring husband.

My experience of women were an abusive mother and bitchy girls at school.

I agree there are privileged men out there but having that as your complete view of 51% of the population is very narrow, negative and harming.

Maybe start reading the happy newspaper, volunteering, looking for male positive news stories, start meditating and yoga

And I’ll be honest, I’ve had it with posters like this.

Who, based on their own limited, lucky and privileged experience, condone what other posters have experienced with their patronising and offensive ‘go read a happy story and do yoga you man hating harpies’.

I’d suggest you go read a newspaper which reports on men getting off public sexual assault charges because ‘they are so stressed’.
Volunteer in an organisation where you will be designated the shit work and shouted down by a man less qualified, skilled and knowledgeable than you and expected to smile politely.
Look for positive news stories about men being feted and lauded for acting with basic common decency.
Or maybe go to a meditation or yoga class run by Bikram and his acolytes. If you haven’t heard about his brand of yoga and feminism there’s a great documentary on Netflix.

Defending men by attacking women won’t save you from their hate @ilovepuggies.

But when it’s men killing women. Meh. Just one of those things

Just women.

Plenty more where they came from.

Maybe start reading the happy newspaper, volunteering, looking for male positive news stories, start meditating and yoga

In other words "don't worry your pretty little heads about all that..."

bitchy girls at school

Most of the time, the sort of behaviour that gets girls/women labelled as "bitchy" is that exact same behaviour that gets boys/men praised for being "straight talking" or "telling it like it is" or "direct" or "determined". Why is it that these behaviours are seen as negative in women but positive - or even desirable - in men?

And why is it, when women attempt to talk about negative experiences with men and problematic behaviour predominantly exhibited by men, there is instantly a chorus of people on hand to shout "not all men"? Heaven forbid that women should have a discussion about an issue that affects women without having to put mens feelings at the centre of it.

Exactly @FoxyTheFox

I've got to say the 'bitchiest' people I know are all men.

start meditating and yoga

Fucking hellfire

When PP talk about their lovely DH’s, fathers, brothers etc, it always reminds me of the standard mumsnet trope- he drinks all our money away, cheats on me, treats me like shit and sees the kids for 30 minutes a week, but I can’t leave him because he’s such a good father.
How many of the ‘lovely’ husbands and fathers on this thread do 50% of housework, childcare and have equal time for hobbies as their wives or is the line that they don’t beat and rape at least to the PP’s knowledge?

Maybe start reading the happy newspaper, volunteering, looking for male positive news stories, start meditating and yoga

This wins the thread prize for the most tone deaf post.

When a women or a child is murdered by someone they know how often is it reported that neighbours/friends described him as "a nice guy" who was "devoted to his family"?

The reason many women mistrust men is because bad men don't walk around with horns and a rakish moustache that they twirl in a devious fashion whilst cackling. They look exactly like the good men. And most of the time when you meet a bad man he doesn't always immediately act like a bad man because that would make you run away so he'll act like a good man, or rather a 'good enough man. Once he does start showing his bad man credentials, he's already past most of your defences.

Most of the time, the sort of behaviour that gets girls/women labelled as "bitchy" is that exact same behaviour that gets boys/men praised for being "straight talking" or "telling it like it is" or "direct" or "determined". Why is it that these behaviours are seen as negative in women but positive - or even desirable - in men?

So much this!
Men have opinions, women have a bitchy attitude.

Well, this bitch is going to keep on calling men out.

That's a really good point, that 'bad women' = cold, unfriendly or bitchy (or maybe just not that impressed by you), whereas 'bad men' = murderous, raping, or committing GBH.

Matches the 'laughed at vs killed' fears rather neatly.

A cold, unfriendly, bitchy man? Never, ever heard of him. That's not because men are generally kind, warm, smiley and friendly, is it. It's because there is nothing out of the ordinary to remark upon.

We are not saying all men.
We are not saying women need protecting
Some women’s behaviour is poor
Some men’s behaviour is poor
But
But
I have never known a man to call out their friends / colleagues behaviour.

My partner says he is all for equality, he works with intelligent women. He has a daughter and a grand daughter. He is kind. However one of his married friends visits prostitutes. Regularly and has done for years. I asked him if he has ever said to his friend that is disgraceful and abusive to his wife. Nope. Not mentioned, they all go for drinks snd laugh about it.

@Coffeeandcocopops

Are you tempted to tell his wife?

@ilovepuggies I agree. Not sure the posters on here are your target audience though 😂😂😂

Oh look, a man has arrived.

I'm tired of it. Of course I know good men, my DF, DH. But if anything happens and I'm no longer with DH I'm not having another relationship with a man, I just can't face the stress of it.

When you see teens pushed to suicide because of "bitchy girls", you realise how hypocritical some posters can be when reality doesn't fit their little agenda. Some people WANT to hate and be right, who cares about anything else.

When you see teens pushed to suicide because of "bitchy girls", you realise how hypocritical some posters can be when reality doesn't fit their little agenda. Some people WANT to hate and be right, who cares about anything else.

Yes, that happens and it’s absolutely tragic. What is your point, though?

No has said women can't be unpleasant but the discussion is about men.

Why can we not have a conversation about problematic male behaviour without having to add the disclaimers if "not all men" and "yeah but women can be bad too"? Genuinely interested in hearing an answer as to why this discussion has to be shut down in that way.

@CoalCraft

Sorry you're surrounded by cunts OP. Fwiw, the vast majority of men I know are lovely, and the ones that aren't are irritating for reasons not related to them being men.

I have a wonderful husband, father, brothers, grandfathers, uncles and male friends. Maybe one day I'll have a wonderful son too.

There's always one.

@HitthatroadJack

When you see teens pushed to suicide because of "bitchy girls", you realise how hypocritical some posters can be when reality doesn't fit their little agenda. Some people WANT to hate and be right, who cares about anything else.

You are either spectacularly lacking in self awareness or a troll.

Our ‘little’ agenda, our desperate need to WANT to live in frustration and fear is, you’ve cracked it, just a harridan’s ploy to distract from every single instance of bad behaviour by women and girls everywhere and be right about everything.

You’re so clever! What a gotcha. I’ve never heard of teen girls killing themselves over abuse or sexual assault at the hands of men, ever. An unknown phenomena.

Shame you won’t take your username advice and follow that road to a men’s forum, where as a prize for defending their honour, they might let you make them a sandwich and pinch your arse for good behaviour.