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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your baby cut off age would be

504 replies

Allthestarsarecloser · 08/12/2020 17:42

I had my kids at 34 & 38 and I am now 46. My lovely friend is pregnant with a much wanted first baby at 46 and it’s got me thinking if I could do it at that point- I don’t think I could to be honest. I think my cut off was 40 probably!
Aibu to ask what ideal your cut off point age wise would be for kids? I know life isn’t perfect so it’s not so simple for everyone as my friend proves

OP posts:
Barmyfarmy · 08/12/2020 20:10

Had all 4 of mine by 26 and that was pushing it!

Shingleballs · 08/12/2020 20:10

For me it was 30, I wanted adult children by the time I was 50. I had mine in my twenties, and I have to say the second one nearly killed me with tiredness, 20’s or no Grin.

Slat3 · 08/12/2020 20:11
  1. But I am extremely lucky to have mine at 21, 23 and 27. If I had my first older (or none) the age would obviously go up but I don’t want massive age gaps between my children so DC4, if there is one, would absolutely be last & before I’m 30.
Juanbablo · 08/12/2020 20:11

My cut off was 30. I had 3 children by the time I was 26 and had no plans to have more.

MoonPomme · 08/12/2020 20:12

I had my son at 24, I would have liked another one but life didnt work out, cut off in an ideal world was 32 and im 35 now.
My son will be 16 when I'm 40 so the idea of starting again then is just not something I would consider even if I did meet someone lovely.
If I didnt have my son I'd keep trying until any age I guess.

CambsAlways · 08/12/2020 20:13

My cut off was 31 I had mine at 21 23 and third was second marriage at 31, wanted my children while I was young! That’s not to say I have an opinion on people having children at later ages, sometimes things just don’t happen when you would like

user1592512579 · 08/12/2020 20:14

I always thought my cut off was 30, but life didnt quite work out that way and I had my children at 33 & 35.

HavelockVetinari · 08/12/2020 20:14

You sound like you're spurring people on to judge your friend OP - I dont think you're much of a friend TBH. Wind your neck in.

LST · 08/12/2020 20:15

I had my kids youngish. And knew I was done at 25.

Original poster
Allthestarsarecloser · 08/12/2020 20:16

@HavelockVetinari oh piss off. You comment says a lot more about you frankly.

OP posts:
allfurcoatnoknickers · 08/12/2020 20:17

I only have one so far, and I was 32 when he was born. My mum was 43 when she had me, so I'm putting that as my cutoff.

I spent my 20s partying, traveling, climbing the corporate ladder and spending money on frivolous shit, so I wasn't parent material before 32 Grin.

RandomUsernameHere · 08/12/2020 20:17

It's impossible to say. I had two at 28 and DH doesn't want a third. Ideally I would have had them a bit younger I think. However if I had struggled to conceive or hadn't met DH until I was older or something, I think I would keep trying and trying regardless of age.

HavelockVetinari · 08/12/2020 20:18

[quote Allthestarsarecloser]@HavelockVetinari oh piss off. You comment says a lot more about you frankly.[/quote]
Nope! Had my last at 32 Grin

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 08/12/2020 20:19

I'm 39 and my youngest is 3, I definitely couldn't go through it again. It's not the pregnancy and birth side of it, it's the having a small totally dependent human being again.

ReggaetonLente · 08/12/2020 20:20

I'm due my second just after I'm 30 and i don't think we'll have any more. For me, 35 would probably be my limit.

Original poster
Allthestarsarecloser · 08/12/2020 20:21

@EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide yes, I am just enjoying my kids these days as it gets a bit easier! I like hanging out with them!!

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 08/12/2020 20:22

I had my only child at 22. Never wanted more, so I guess that was my cut off age! It was an unplanned pregnancy though, I didn't envision becoming a mum at 22.

JacobReesMogadishu · 08/12/2020 20:22

Personally for me I wouldn’t have wanted kids past 25yo. But I appreciate that’s unusual. I’m mid 40s with dc in their 20s. And am really happy with how it was/is for us.

cjpark · 08/12/2020 20:22

30 was my ideal cut-off too. I estimated that by the time I was 50 the DC would be self -sufficient leaving dH and I time to relax and travel a bit whilst health and energy allowed.

Doublebubblebubble · 08/12/2020 20:23

Now. 33.

I made a post a week or so ago as i was kind of in a fever dream week of desperately wanting and also not wanting a baby. Thank you ladies for convincing me!

I have a 10 year old and a 5 year old (started young) and yeah, I enjoy my sleep too much, I love not having to worry about sids and how theyre going to try to kill themselves all the time.

Never mind the fact that my obstetric history would make the spanish inquisition look like a fairy tail. I hate being pregnant too.

I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Strangedayindeed · 08/12/2020 20:24

For me 35 but that’s just for me. I absolutely think women can and should have babies after that and I would never judge any woman for having children at whatever she felt was best!

shinynewapple2020 · 08/12/2020 20:25

I was 38 when I had DS and because I knew I would have struggled being pregnant with a second whilst DS was still a baby or toddler, we decided not to try for a second as I would be over 40 at the time .

When a colleague had two babies after the age of 40 I did question whether we had been right : on the whole I think it was the right decision .

As another pp said, if we hadn't had DS when we did then yes would have carried on trying .

goldenharvest · 08/12/2020 20:28
  1. Last child (DD) was born when I was 29 and 11 months. Tubes tied so no going back and no regrets.
LaurieFairyCake · 08/12/2020 20:28

When you naturally can't have one - so pre menopause - 50-ish?

shinynewapple2020 · 08/12/2020 20:28

@Chimeraforce

Had mine at 33. Too old IMHO. Get it done early. Otherwise you clash meno with their teens. Tough.

I think it was juggling care for elderly relatives with teens that was the killer !