To ask what your baby cut off age would be

[Allthestarsarecloser]

I had my kids at 34 & 38 and I am now 46. My lovely friend is pregnant with a much wanted first baby at 46 and it’s got me thinking if I could do it at that point- I don’t think I could to be honest. I think my cut off was 40 probably!
Aibu to ask what ideal your cut off point age wise would be for kids? I know life isn’t perfect so it’s not so simple for everyone as my friend proves

I would never dream of telling anyone they were too old to be trying for a baby. Infertility or not meeting the right partner until later in life is nobody's fault and everyone deserves a chance to have a family. But as the child of older parents I do hope people don't underestimate how hard it can be on the child later down the line. I'm taking care of my tiny children and elderly parents at the same time, and it's heartbreakingly difficult. If my dad in his late eighties makes it to see my newborn baby next year I will be over the moon.

I had my first at 27 and the second (last) at 36. I'd have liked them closer together but first marriage didn't work out. I wouldn't have wanted my second any later. It was tiring enough at 36.

@formerbabe that is spot on and my sentiments exactly.

I had mine late but had a bloody fantastic 20’s and early 30’s travelling the world and partying. By contrast my cousins had theirs in their early 20’s and are now getting their lives back, big holidays, great jobs and running businesses while I’ve still got little kids. We are all happy with our respective choices (although I’d have liked an easier time TTC but turns out I’d have struggled anyway)

I would have said 35, but didn't find DH until I was a bit older so had my two at 34 and 36. I'd probably say about 42 felt like a cut off for me. I know quite a few people who've had one at 40 or so. I didn't want to be going into retirement at 60-ish with children under 18.

Ideal life 18 to 19 gap year
22 graduate
Work til 32 then have twins. Take 2 years off at home then back part time for 10 years then full time til 55. After that early retirement. Die at 101.

I’m 31 now and expecting my first. I’d ideally like 3 so probably 40.

That would make DH 45 so definitely think we would feel done then.

Husband is planning on having the snip when he turns 36! I'm 6 month older so I guess my cut off is 36!
Took us 2.5 years to conceive so in my ideal world if I conceived pretty much straight away instead of 2.5 years I would probably be onto my second pregnancy by now and our family would be complete at 32!
Planning to ttc again next June so that gives us 4 years to ttc for a second child! If it doesn't happen we're so grateful for our daughter xx

Just to reiterate what a previous poster wrote, it’s vert easy to have a cut off point when you’ve already had children at a younger age. When you’re older and you get the chance to have a first child later it changes things. I had my first child at 39 (10 years infertility), all attempts for a second child have resulted in miscarriage (4). I am now 44, but it through some act of God I was lucky enough to have a second child I would grab it with both hands! Cut off point in my mind is a luxury for those who have been lucky enough to have kids earlier.

I honestly don't think age matters all that much, teens, 20's , 30's or 40's each age has it's pro's and con's when it comes to childbirth and parenting.

As long as your healthy and active, I’d say 50 I think. People live longer now, so why not have children later.
I was an older mum and way more active and fitter than some of the younger parents I know, I have more patience too.
We weren’t trying for a baby and it was a complete shock (one time without contraception ). Yes, shouldn’t have been a shock, but it was!

My DH had a vasectomy whilst I was pregnant with my second. I knew that if anything had happened to my DD2, I was never going to grow another human again! My cut off was 30!

As others have said, I think it totally depends on when you started having kids. I had my two at 30 and 36, and now at 41 I feel there is no way I could cope with another baby, but that may simply be because the two I’ve got are already exhausting enough!

Having said that, I found my second pregnancy at 35/36 much tougher physically than my first.

Just wanted to point out...

My parents had me when they were 37 and I had my kids at 33 and 35 - so they were 70 and 72.

They are the most hands-on grandparents of anyone I know. They do the school run twice a week, have my son in the day, have them to sleepover maybe every other month. They say my kids keep them young.

Although I will accept mum going through the menopause when I was a teenager was not much fun.

Mine was always 40. However, if I hadn't managed to get pregnant by that age, or was still trying for no. 2, then I would have continued. We did struggle, and I ended up having them at 37 and 39. It was age (and money) that stopped us having no. 3. One of my close friends had hers at 42 and 44 and has far more energy and patience than I do!

I said 30 myself, and had my youngest at 27. I think if you can spread your child bearing years over just a few years it allows you to have a stage of life where things are a bit easier. If you keep having babies from say 20 and keep going into your 40s then you never really have a break from it all. In saying that, that's what life is all about in many ways!

Hmm. Depends on so much like if you have a partner/husband, how difficult your previous DC were etc. I was 41 when I had DC2 but I never had a limit on age, just number of pregnancies I could tolerate! In an ideal world I'd have been done by 35 but I only met DH when I was 35 so things got pushed out a bit! I'd say probably 45 as a cut off (I'm 45 and don't want any more) but I don't feel especially old or tired. My ovaries might not feel the same though

35 or at a push 36 for me personally.

I had both of mine by 36 which felt perfect for me. I had considered a third but I'm in my 40s now and happy with my lot. 40 is probably the cut off for me.

I think it likely depends on your own personal experience what your opinion on this is. I had mine at 19, 24 and 28. I honestly couldn't imagine having a newborn now at 35 however lots of our friends are having their first. My opinions only the way it is because I have been there and got the tshirt.

In an ideal world, I'd want to have been done and dusted before hitting 30 (in practice, I had my last one at 32).

My eyes are watering at the idea of having a baby at 46. I was having unprotected sex then on the grounds that I was far too old to become pregnant, never mind actually look after a baby or toddler.

(I didn't become pregnant, btw, whereas I did become pregnant on the first attempt when I was younger, so I was reasonably confident about what my body was doing).

30 was my cut off.

I TTC for 15 years with my exH met someone else and it took us a further 4 years to fall Pregnant then I had 4 miscarriages. I last fell Pregnant at 34 and thought I'd have a much wanted Baby in my arms on my 35th birthday. As much as I would keep trying until I was 40 I think 36 at a push 37 would be the cut off for me but that's only because my OH is 18 years older than me

I am 35 now and far too old now for another child. 30 is the limit.

Friend of a dd had her 2nd at 45.
My dd had her 3rd at nearly 43.
Both all fine.
As regards age, so much will depend on personal circumstances and the state of general health/fitness. One person’s too old, will be another’s ‘Why ever not?’

I had my children at 27 and 31. I would have liked a third, but DH didn’t, so we didn’t, but in my head 35 was always the cut-off point for me. I think could have pushed it until about 38, if DH had changed his mind, but ar 39 I suddenly had the strongest feeling that I was definitely too old for any more. Just me, personally. I don’t think it’s too old in general.