To ask what your baby cut off age would be

[Allthestarsarecloser]

I had my kids at 34 & 38 and I am now 46. My lovely friend is pregnant with a much wanted first baby at 46 and it’s got me thinking if I could do it at that point- I don’t think I could to be honest. I think my cut off was 40 probably!
Aibu to ask what ideal your cut off point age wise would be for kids? I know life isn’t perfect so it’s not so simple for everyone as my friend proves

@bitheby

Well this thread has made me cry. I'm still trying. Not saying how old I am.

Don't be upset by this shitty thread. Not revealing my age either .

I had mine at 29 and 32, had pre-eclampsia with the first DC and placenta issues/haemorrhages with both. So 32 for me - after all that I wasn’t risking another.

DC1 was a dreadful sleeper as well, didn’t nap for more than 10 mins at a time from being a month old and never stayed asleep more than an hour at a time at night - I wouldn’t go through that again if you paid me.

Had mine at 24 and 27. Youngest now at uni.

Wanted to have them young as we plan to retire early and enjoy it.

My cut-off was 42 so we stopped trying and by some miracle had DD2 at 43
Life happens while you're making other plans as they say

I couldn't imagine doing the newborn stage again in my forties. I'm not sure I'd be as enthusiastic about it at that age.

My personal cut off was 35. I actually had my third and last baby at 33.

Hi @LisaLee333

No where did I say that any of the posters saying no way they'd have a baby after 40 was "wrong", nor that they lacked empathy. I simply thanked those that came across as more empathetic for their acknowledgement that sometimes even with the best laid plans life doesn't work out that way.

I was in tears reading the thread - as someone who would love the opportunity to be an older mum, even although as I said in an earlier post I'd have preferred to have several children in my 20s- and I found some posters more empathetic than others. If that's projecting, then guilty.

I hoped to be done with babies by 35 are we were I'm almost 40 and still have the fleeting broodiness but I'm enjoying my DCs becoming teens now.

I finished having babies at 25. I absolutely love being a young mum. I think 35 would be my cutoff in an ideal world just because of stats of risks going up and fertility declining. But if I hadn't had a baby I'd have kept trying right up until it was biologically impossible (and beyond) as it was something I had a very strong urge to do.

And also just to add, I'm very, very grateful for being able to be a young mum. I know lots of people don't get that option due to meeting their partner later or fertility or career. Please don't take my personal enjoyment of my circumstances as smug in any way.

Probably when I can't have kids anymore, whatever that age may be. Is it just western society that obsessed over age so much?

*obsesses

@AwaAnBileYerHeid

Probably when I can't have kids anymore, whatever that age may be. Is it just western society that obsessed over age so much?

is that really all the thought you will give to it? You won't consider increased health risks for you and the baby, age you will be during teenage years? If you can have a baby at 50 you'll go for it (dh's great grandmother had her last at 50 - she led her a dog's life)?

Any place women have a choice to control their fertility they will make choices about when to start having children, when to stop and how many to have and when to have them. It is one of the most liberating things about modern society - that women can do this.

I had my third at 38. probably wouldn't have wanted to be pregnant after 40 but my best friend had her first at 41 - I'd probably have done the same. A good friend had her first at 39 and her last at 44. I remember her being shocked at the stats on downs syndrome when she went for amnio on her third (she would definitely have terminated)

I am 28 and childless. My cut off would be 37.

My cut off was 30.

Before I never wanted kids so never thought of it.

Decided I'd like one when I was 27, told myself I had until I was 30. Had DC at 28.

Now 31 and pregnant with (planned) DC2. Uncertain if we will go for a 3rd but my absolute cut off now is 35.

It's a rolling limit I guess.

My ultimate thinking is I don't want really young children in my 50s. I'd like them no younger than 14/15 when I hit that milestone.

My personal cut off was 30, now 34 and my partner has dropped the bombshell that he would quite like to try for another child. He would love to have a daughter but after 3 boys I don't think its going to happen for you mate. He's absolutely welcome to have another bash at it - just not with me 😂

35

I wanted my children at 23 and 25 however life didn't work out that was and I resigned myself to never having them.

I then met dh at 29 and I had our first at 32 now I'm 36 and expecting our second. I wasn't going to have a second but after a surprise pregnancy earlier in the year then a miscarriage I wanted a second and was lucky enough to fall pregnant after 2 cycles. We weren't actually trying each time so even though I had been told by doctors etc that I would have trouble conceiving etc I fell pregnant 3 times without problems.

Early 40s. I was for a bit childless not through choice but genuinely wouldve stopped if I hadn't conceived by then because my husband is older than me and I do think it's about the child too not just about my wants. Though it wouldve been inexplicably painful.

I really think it's all a bit subjective though and depends on health and finances and wants too. I have friends who stopped by 30 and wouldn't have had children in their 30s like me as it wouldve been too hard (their words) but for me I feel the opposite. It's the perfect time for me as I'm established in my career, can pick and choose work more, still have loads of energy and feel much more prepared and able. But accept that is just me.

Probably 41 or 42 but that's as someone who has a child and wants another (I'm 36). When we were having fertility issues trying for our first then my answer would have been different as I wouldn't have given up til I reached menopause and the choice was taken away from me

Absolutely no idea. The way life turned out I had mine a lot younger than I expected to (honestly didn’t think I’d even be in a LTR until I was past 30, as it was I was married with a 5&2yr old by then)

Can’t honestly say at all what age I would have kept trying until to have children though if life hadn’t worked this way for me.

If you mean what age would I stop having already had children, it would have been 32 because I don’t think I’d have wanted any bigger an age gape between the DC I already had rather than my actual age.

Also easy for me to say I couldn’t hack it physically now (I’m 37) but my body has already been through 2 pregnancies.

I genuinely think there are pros and cons to having children at any age and actually wish I’d been older when I’d started

I cut it off at 30.

I had mine in my mid 20s and my cut off before kids would have been 40. After my second was born when I was 26 my cut off moved to 26! I was knackered for years! I'm 47 now and wrecked for a week if I have a disturbed night. The thought of having a baby now makes me shudder. It'd bloody kill me! 😂

I had ds 6 weeks off being 38, got divorced & met late dp when I was 44, got pregnant within 3 months by accident, lost baby girl at 16 weeks, I would have been 45 had I carried her to term. I think I would have managed better than when ds was born because I knew what to expect & how to do everything. Late dp had 2 children, one born after we got together, they were only toddlers when we started having them for weekends, it didn't phase me, I never had that thank god we only have them at weekend feeling, his ex had been unsure she wanted his dd & had she not I would have been happy for us to bring her up. Lots of women are choosing to wait to have children at an older age, when my mum had my brother she was 33 & said she was treated like a pensioner at the ante natal clinic. At the classes we attended before ds was born I was in the middle of age range at 37, there were several couples who were in their forties, one woman was 47 & having her first baby.