To ask what your baby cut off age would be

[Allthestarsarecloser]

I had my kids at 34 & 38 and I am now 46. My lovely friend is pregnant with a much wanted first baby at 46 and it’s got me thinking if I could do it at that point- I don’t think I could to be honest. I think my cut off was 40 probably!
Aibu to ask what ideal your cut off point age wise would be for kids? I know life isn’t perfect so it’s not so simple for everyone as my friend proves

" a woman becoming a mother in her 40s no longer looks like an "older" mum."

Yes they do.

I wanted to be done by 35, and I was (had mine at 32 and 34). That’s absolutely no judgment on when anyone else has children, either by choice or circumstance. It was achievable for me because I met DH when I was 21 and we didn’t have much trouble conceiving. If that hadn’t been the case we may well still trying now I’m 42.

I always said I’d start using contraception again at 40. I reached that this year though, and we’re still not using contraception. We’ve struggled with infertility and not used anything since our son was 9 months old. Given that he is now 9 years old, I think it’s pretty unlikely anything will happen!

I said 40 would be the cut off based on the age I would be when the child becomes more independent. It turns out the pull to have another is harder to squash than even a veteran of IVF could have predicted. I think we’ll probably just keep going as we are until menopause!

I had my only (so far) at 32. I'm now almost 36 and trying for a second and feeling I'm getting close to my cut off. Moreso because I just want to get on with life and not go back to having a newborn and young baby when I'm 40.

That said if I was still trying for my first I'd keep going until Mother Nature stepped in and said enough was enough

@pinkdragons

" a woman becoming a mother in her 40s no longer looks like an "older" mum."

Yes they do.

I had my ds at 26...he's now nearly 13. Our area is very diverse...lots of mums who had their dc in their late thirties...lots of his peers mums are now 50+..not a stealth boast but they look so much older than me. Late thirties doesn't look especially old with a baby but a mum with a 12 year old who is fifty does look quite old to be honest. Not that its a bad thing.

Mines has always been 30. I had two in my late twenties. I am now weeks away from 31 and I'm done.

@pinkdragons

" a woman becoming a mother in her 40s no longer looks like an "older" mum."

Yes they do.

But so what if they do?

I don’t think I’d want a child past about 38-40ish.
I had my children at 29 and 31, looking back I might have liked to have them earlier (maybe 25) but the time wasn’t right for me then.

However if I’d had trouble conceiving or wanted a child but hadn’t had any I’d go up to 45-48ish. I wouldn’t go beyond that into the realm of 50.

47 to give birth rather than pregnancy then I would be no older than 65 when they were 18. I imagine that’s only possible with Ivf donor eggs though.

@pinkdragons

" a woman becoming a mother in her 40s no longer looks like an "older" mum."

Yes they do.

or at least they look like the norm,

I have read more complaints from a teen or mother in her 20s who gets constantly mistaken for the nanny

Nothing wrong with looking your age. You just don't look like an oldER mother when you are the same age as everybody else...

It was up to 35 planned ) had them at 29&33)but up to 40 was ok. At 40 DH had the snip to take that risk away.

I absolutely wouldn’t consider another in my 40’s but that’s just me.
Each to their own.

@AldiAisleofCrap

47 to give birth rather than pregnancy then I would be no older than 65 when they were 18. I imagine that’s only possible with Ivf donor eggs though.

Maybe... my cousin (46 next week) is currently pregnant, IVF but with her own eggs (issue was with her husbands sperm count, no issues were found with her eggs... he’s 36).

My personal cut off would be around 38.
I wouldn't want to be doing school runs in my 50s!
Of course it's a personal choice and different for everybody, and I would never judge someone having a child at 45+.

Had my only one at 45. Had been trying for a while but had 2 miscarriages.

I had a few problems during pregnancy and DD was very premature. She has a neurological condition but that could have happened regardless of the age I had her. In an ideal world I would have been younger but it was not to be and I wouldn't be without her. I have a friend who had her only child at the same age and she sailed through her pregnancy with no problems.

Only real regret I have is that she has no living grandparents. We lost both my Mum and Dad over the last 12 months and that has been really hard for her.

She does sometimes complain about having no brothers or sisters but when I ask her if she would like to have to share mummy with brothers or sisters she seems to change her mind very quickly.

35 was my mine. I had mine at 26 and 28. Wanted a 3rd but my ex refused to get a job although he wanted more but l was sick of having babies and going back to work when they were 12 weeks old.

33 for me. What age others choose doesn’t affect me and I think nothing negative when I hear of women 40+ getting pregnant.

At 34 my DC would be 10 and 7 at that point and I didn’t want a big age gap. I didn’t want to go back to the baby years now my older ones were at the age they could make me tea and toast. .

If I'd had mine when I was older the age I'd have said NO would have been pushed back.

Mine would be 38 I beliehe. I was 29 when I had my first, will be 31 with my second. I want three children and would like my last at 35 but who knows what other things life throws into the equation.

After reading more posts I've realised menopause is my personal cut off, not only because I'm starting at 34 due to circumstances without my control but also because I've already had an increadibly full life in terms of adventures, misadventures and career so really having a family is my last goal/hope. My grandparents also lived to 90ish so having a child at 50 doesn't seem that old to me.

I met a woman who had her first at 54, as a single parent! I was in awe. She was one fit and healthy woman, but wow, very, very brave. She seemed fine though as a parent. However with my own experience with my DD at 33, as a lone parent, I would not even contemplate it at that age. Different strokes for different folks eh?

Granda was helping raise 3 children at 65. And I've been told by my aunts that he was a more hands on dad to us.

I met my husband when I was 37, had our first child at 40 and I've now got a beautiful 10 week old at 45!

Mine was 40 but I had one at almost 42. I’m 45 now, if I wasn’t so close to the light at the end of the tunnel were nappies, night time wake ups and tantrums are concerned and I was in better health I would consider another but probably wouldn’t go past 45.

In my mind I've always had my cut off as 34. I wanted my first by 27 (which happened) as wanted my 40s to be spent entirely out of the nappy and young kid phase. DC2 is due in summer and I'll be just 32 and that's us done and dusted!

I’ll be 43 by the end of the year. Had a miscarriage at 24, and just had another in the last couple of weeks following a positive result from my first round of IVF. If you’d asked me in my 20s I’d have said 35-40, but life just hasn’t worked out that way. I’ve got 7 frozen embryos so I’ll try until I run out, and that will be it for me. Apparently I don’t look my age, so I’m hoping if one of those 7 sticks then I won’t stand out too much at the school gates!