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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask DH to ask his mum to stop?

162 replies

StarBarsTheBomb · 08/12/2020 15:46

Firstly I want to start by saying I love my MIL, this really isn't intended to be a MIL bashing thread. She is a nice person, I just don't think she realises that she's upsetting me. In fact I know she doesn't, because she wouldn't want to.

But equally I don't know if I'm just being a bloody baby and need to get over it!!

Anyway, me and DH are having a baby very soon. He recently told his mum the name we had chosen, I'd have preferred him not to but he wanted to so fine.

Anyway, ever since then every single time we speak to her she tells us we 'must change that name', 'you can't do that', 'noooo, you can't call them that' etc... Like relentlessly.

The name is very very normal, it is not out there or strange or uncommon. But apparently together with our surname it sounds like something funny... (It doesn't).

Honestly, if we genuinely thought it did sound like this I'd agree but it doesn't, it's a stretch to even get it to sound like what she's implying.

I ended up telling my mum and my aunt who hands down would honestly tell me the truth if they agreed but they were just as confused as me and said they never would have thought it sounded like that.

AIBU to mention it to DH and ask him to ask his mum to drop it now? It's always said in a jokey way but it's starting to bug me.

OP posts:

Gensola · 08/12/2020 17:16

@museumum it was in ref to the idea of initial + surname making a bad phonetic sound so W-anchor

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 08/12/2020 17:16

The thing is. If she's 'seen it'
she will NOT be the only one. Your sample size of 5 doesn't mean anything.

It would be better to post it here& we can be honest with you. It's the name of an unborn baby, so I don't see why it matters if a bunch of strangers know that

But if you don't want to do that, all I can say is IF others do 'see it' too, how bad would it be?

C. Hatty - chatty. Ha ha get over it

B. Itch - bitch. Not so haha.

Rarely do people use middle names and often you can't at work etc.

ClickandForget · 08/12/2020 17:16

There will be many times the name will appear as, say, "A Dragon" though

I agree with this. I have a friend with a very unfortunate pairing of initial and surname. He's had to alter the way we sign things off at work because of it.

museumum · 08/12/2020 17:19

[quote Gensola]@museumum it was in ref to the idea of initial + surname making a bad phonetic sound so W-anchor [/quote]
ahhhhh... (it's been a loooong day)

Just goes to show that people might not get even the most obvious ones

Wishihadanalgorithm · 08/12/2020 17:21

Why not tell MIL that dc is getting your (unmarried?) surname and see what she says? I imagine that would piss her off.

Then when she moans, say “See, our original name isn’t so bad after all!”

Alternatively tell her to give it a rest as you are the parents and you’ve made the decision. She doesn’t get a say so please stop going on.

ClickandForget · 08/12/2020 17:22

I presume she's also want to have an opinion on being called gran, granny, nana etc

Isn't that perfectly reasonable though? It's a name she'll have to live with.

ReadySteadyBed · 08/12/2020 17:22

@Ferrari458

Maybe speak up for yourself next time. Not too rude, but to the point "OK, I need you to stop making these comments about the baby's name now. That is the name we've chosen and it's not a joking matter. I'm sure you don't mean to, but you're really upsetting me."

This! I find it strange so many people on Mumsnet just don't deal with these things and nip it in the bud!?

SilverBirchWithout · 08/12/2020 17:26

My surname is Lea, which caused us a few problems ie Mary LeA sounds like Merrily, or Jo Lea, like Jolly - it was quite difficult to find a name that didn’t sound like an adverb.
For a few weeks we’d finally settled on Freddie for a boy, until FIL pointed out the name with just an initial would be FLea! He was right and we chose something else in the end.

VinylDetective · 08/12/2020 17:26

*totally not the point of the thread but i cannot make William Anchor sound anything funny in my accent? Please let me in on it?

will you mank her?
willy anchor?
will he ank her? HELP!!!!!!!!!!*

W Anchor

FippertyGibbett · 08/12/2020 17:27

Just tell her to shut the fuck up. Done.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 08/12/2020 17:32

A friend was going to name her son Alan Ronald Simmons until it was pointed out that the initials would be ARS.

They swapped the Christian names round, and still called him Alan at home.

copperoliver · 08/12/2020 17:33

Tell her yourself, so if you don't like it but that's the baby's name. X

Tomorrowistomorrow · 08/12/2020 17:34

My mother was the same.
The below is an example we called him after a family name -After Great Grandfather.
My son is like William -he's not but similiar and she was OMG I hate it -Will is fine -I'll call him Will and I was like no his name is William -for about 2 year she went on and on about it and eventually as much as I love her I said "Right enough is enough. You had 4 children and you got to name them all, your choice. I have 3 my choice" -as soon as DS could talk he corrected her every single time and she calls him William now -DS would glare at her if she didn't address him correctly.

SilverBirchWithout · 08/12/2020 17:38

My ex’s initials were A.R.S.S - when I pointed it out, no one in family had ever realised.
To be fair he was a bit or an arse!

ememem84 · 08/12/2020 17:40

There was a teacher at my school called matetes (pronounced mateetees). First name Phil.

Hoping ops baby name isn’t like that.

sadie9 · 08/12/2020 17:40

Whose surname will it be? Tell her you will just use your own surname then and take DH's surname off, but you are keeping the name you chose.

BitOfFun · 08/12/2020 17:40

Unless your surname is Untychops and you are calling him Christopher, your husband should tell her to pipe down.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 08/12/2020 17:41

As long as it's not sweary/rude it's not really an issue, it might get noticed once they get old enough to get an email but seeing as you've checked with other people and they don't see an issue then I wouldn't worry about it.

Tell her the decision has been made and she needs to drop it

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 08/12/2020 17:41

@SchadenfreudePersonified

A friend was going to name her son Alan Ronald Simmons until it was pointed out that the initials would be ARS.

They swapped the Christian names round, and still called him Alan at home.

I am guessing they didn't live in S London then?

Where 'Ras' is a well used (Jamaican origin) term of contempt with the same meaning as 'arse'.

NewlyGranny · 08/12/2020 17:43

If she mentions it again - and I hope she won't - ask her who she allowed to choose her babies' names ahead of her and her DH. Then just give her the look. You know, raised eyebrows and dipped chin, head tilted about 15 degrees.

She's being very rude!

MiriamMargo · 08/12/2020 17:49

You HAVE to share the name, you just have too PLEASE !!!!

Coughsyrupsucks · 08/12/2020 17:50

My MIL wouldn’t stop going on about DD’s initials spelling LEG Not one person has noticed in 18 years, including DD!

If your Mum and Aunt think it’s not a weird one, go for it and tell DH to tell his mother to stop. Congrats on your baby!

FreekStar · 08/12/2020 17:50

Well, if MIL thinks it's funny, there will doubtless be others! I'd seriously consider telling us the name so we can decide OP, otherwise the thread is pointless.

Emsicle24 · 08/12/2020 17:50

My son’s initials would have been THE Surname so changed it to TEH Surname.

My brother’s is GDP....all I can see is Gross Domestic Product 🤣

MiriamMargo · 08/12/2020 17:51

Its not C Hunt or something on those lines is it??

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