To be so pissed off with this kid?

[InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream]

Ugh. Since going back in September my 12 yr old DD has been having a bit of trouble with a boy in a couple of her classes. He is generally a joker and a bit of a pain in the arse, but out of the blue started saying DD smells of fish 😡

She definitely doesn't, by the way, nothing amiss with her personal hygiene. When she first mentioned it I suggested she completely ignore it or just laugh it off as a completely ridiculous notion. Which didn't work. He kept doing it, sometimes other people sitting around them also have a titter about it, and he's now also started getting his vile little mates to start saying the same thing to her in other lessons and it's now a very regular occurrence. It's really affecting her enjoyment of school and she had always enjoyed school previously 😡

So while she's careful not to let it visibly upset her at school, it DOES upset her, of course, and she also suffers from quite bad anxiety, so this is really unhelpful. She has a really nice circle of friends- I suggested she tell them all about it so that she isn't trying to cope with it alone and they can support her and back her up and they are doing so. She doesn't want me to talk to the school- she doesn't feel this is 'bullying', but if this boy finds out she 'snitches' on him, she feels it may turn into bullying.

I think it is already bullying but there you go. This week I've suggested she responds very confidently and aggressively to any comments to see if this will nip it in the bud. If that doesn't work I'll try and persuade her that I should talk to the school.

He's not getting away with it. I was bullied at that age and it wrecked my self confidence. It makes me fucking angry- WHY do kids have to be so unpleasant?? Just why??

So. AIBU to be so pissed off about this?
And am I telling her all the wrong things to do, and does anyone have any better ideas?

[quote Denthelp]@ImnotCarolineHirons I’m not going to argue with you if that’s what you are hoping for.

As a PP pointed out it’s highly unlikely the 12 year old boy is going to view what he is saying in the same way adults are and even really understand. People need to calm down a bit and realise they are talking about a little child, because a 12 year old is just that. End of.

Glad the OP has sorted it without taking on the terrible advice of so many posters on this thread.[/quote]
A 12 year old is not a little child, not when they are old enough to face prosecution.

Good point @TurquoiseDragon. The age of culpability is 10. Old enough to bloody know better.

@TurquoiseDragon don’t be ridiculous. They are still children. They aren’t prosecuted as adults fgs.

@Denthelp I think the government would disagree with you.

www.gov.uk/age-of-criminal-responsibility

@Denthelp

What were your words earlier on in the thread? Oh yes:

Bet you, quite rightly, feel very silly now.

Your entire argument on this thread has been negated.

[quote Denthelp]@TurquoiseDragon don’t be ridiculous. They are still children. They aren’t prosecuted as adults fgs.[/quote]
The age of criminal responsibility is 10.

@CandyLeBonBon you don’t think the government would class a 12 year old as a child? And they would prosecute a 12 year old as an adult? Your link literally proves what I said is right. You’ve lost the plot I’m afraid.

@youvegottenminuteslynn yes I’m aware of that. I said they wasn’t prosecuted as adults and would still be classed as children. I’ve not mentioned anything about the age of criminal responsibility. Please read the thread properly.

[quote Denthelp]@CandyLeBonBon you don’t think the government would class a 12 year old as a child? And they would prosecute a 12 year old as an adult? Your link literally proves what I said is right. You’ve lost the plot I’m afraid.[/quote]
You e heard of the Jamie burger case yes? Children can and have been prosecuted at 10 and over. Argue with me as much as you like. That's what the law states

@MerchantOfVenom what are you on about?

Bulger not burger. Apologies. And yes they were tried and convicted in an adult court.

I'm not losing anything. Perhaps try to reply without personal insults.

@CandyLeBonBon Wow. Did you really just try and link this thread to the Jamie Bulger case? How utterly disrespectful.

[quote Denthelp]@CandyLeBonBon Wow. Did you really just try and link this thread to the Jamie Bulger case? How utterly disrespectful.[/quote]
I am drawing your attention to the fact that children as young as 10 have been tried as adults in court. I am not comparing the cases.

[quote Denthelp]@youvegottenminuteslynn yes I’m aware of that. I said they wasn’t prosecuted as adults and would still be classed as children. I’ve not mentioned anything about the age of criminal responsibility. Please read the thread properly.[/quote]
Care to quote where you said “a 12YO wouldn’t be prosecuted as an adult”?

All you have said is that he’s still a “little child”.

You’ve now been educated that a 12YO is not regarded as a ‘little child’ in the eyes of the law.

Denthelp give it a fucking rest!

[quote Denthelp]@TurquoiseDragon don’t be ridiculous. They are still children. They aren’t prosecuted as adults fgs.[/quote]
Right here @MerchantOfVenom. Please read the thread.

Oh give it a rest @Denthelp, you've been trying to detract the thread since the beginning.

I'm glad you seem to have sorted it, OP, well done you.

Probably enough now @Denthelp you seem angry and determined to have arguments for the sake of it.

Glad OP is ok and that it's being taken seriously by school, good outcome.

@Denthelp - the hard point is, since you seem to be seriously struggling with this: a 12YO is not ‘a little child’.

They are considered to be criminally responsible in the eyes of the law.

This has been the basis of your entire, weak, misogynistic argument throughout this thread.

You clearly lack the cop on and self-awareness to realise quite how ridiculous you look at this point.

Hi OP,

I’m so glad the school are taking this seriously and I really hope this nasty behaviour stops straight away. The ring leader sounds like such a gem doesn’t he, denying all knowledge.

You sound like a great mum, supportive and kind whilst also encouraging independence in your daughter and resilience.
(Some of the derailing nonsense comments on the thread recently are ridiculous).

Sorry for the derail op!

@InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream

I have posted on a similar thread. I speak as a chair of governors and frankly my opinion of the capability of schools to deal with little shits like you describe is risible.

I was going to say email the Head of Year or the general school inbox depending on how they operate. However I now see you have progressed it. I hope it ceases and it does sound school has been more proactive than many. However, keep your evidence as if you need to progress it further you need precise details.

If it happens again, kick up a stink with the HT.

For info, I found out the school. I chair was failing to properly address bullying despite a wonderful policy. I put him on a formal action plan to address it and threatened formal capability processes if he didn't get their act together. Didn't like it but it simply isn't acceptable.

Good luck

[quote Denthelp]@TurquoiseDragon don’t be ridiculous. They are still children. They aren’t prosecuted as adults fgs.[/quote]
They may not be prosecuted as adults, but they are not treated as little children, so stop infantilising 12 year olds.

Thank goodness op. So please DD is feeling happier now. Well done you

dent this is my fucking thread not yours, and if candy wants to link the Jamie Bulger case to make a point about the age of criminal responsibility she is perfectly entitled to do so, so shove your mock outrage up your arse and mess up someone else's thread. This thread has been great apart from your snide rubbish. Just SHUT UP