Cleaner put photo on facebook

[PortToTheLeft]

My cleaner has a facebook page where photos of cleans she has done are often posted - clean ovens, hoovered carpets, clear showerscreens etc. All fine.

She did my house today and I've just seen she put a thing on facebook of pulling a load of hair out of my shower drain with a comment to tell people to remember to clean their shower drains weekly.

I get this is grim but:
a) this is NOT a job I would expect her to have to do - it is definitely something I usually do.
b) I am under a lot of pressure just now and not 100% well. One symptom of this is that my hair is literally falling out. I have a shower and it comes out in clumps. I have bald patches all over my head. This is really really upsetting me. It does mean my shower drain needs cleared more often (every couple of days). I just happen not to have done it today.

I try to be as considerate as possible - I always tidy before she comes, I ensure the toilets are presentable etc.

The FB video doesn't identify me, but she must know I'll see it as our contact is always by FB messenger so I feel this is basically a way of telling me how grim I am. I am also already pretty emotional about the hair loss anyway.

So AIBU?
YABU: I am a disgusting person and should apologise to her.
YANBU: Not acceptable, if she had an issue she should not clean it, or say something to me.

I'm not sure what to do next either - regardless of whether I am unreasonable or not, I will not feel comfortable with her in my house feeling that any grimness of mine will end up on facebook.

You are not disgusting but I think she has been very unkind. If she wants to show off, use your own house I.e. hers.

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. I hope things improve very soon .

They probably would improve by getting rid of someone so thoughtless.

I’d sack her for posting pictures of my home on line

I had a cleaner who did this spent an age cleaning a light fitting which had rusted so she could post a snippy video. She barely cleaned the rest of the house as I think it took a long time. We had already bought a replacement like light fitting as we’d no intention of spending an hour removing rust. She then sent me a slightly rude FB message saying she didn’t have time to clean my house

To be honest, as an ex cleaner. I think it's pretty unprofessional of her to be posting anything about her clients' homes on social media. I'd find another cleaner.

That's put me right off my tea

Did she ask if she could take photos of your private property and put them on FB?

If not, I would be firing her pronto and getting another cleaner!

I hope you are ok, sending you a hug I don’t think she was appropriate posting that picture at all. You would be well within your rights not to use her again.

I definitely think that it wouldn’t have been personal on any level though. More likely she was thinking about how many likes and shares she would get, probably trying to imitate Mrs. Hinch or something.

Whatever you decide to do, definitely let her know that it has upset you. She needs to know it isn’t acceptable to do this again

This is one of the reasons i don't have a cleaner.

I think it's really rude and unprofessional of her. I'm not surprised you feel upset. I would not want to keep employing her. Sorry about your hair loss

I'm sorry you are not feeling well.
She should have asked before posting the video.

She's been very thoughtless, I would message her and tell her the situation and how you feel and then decide based on her response whether to keep employing her if I were in your shoes.

I would see this as her just using common scenarios to promote her services on her Facebook, I think it's just an unfortunate coincidence that you have illness-related hair loss at the moment which is making you feel worse about it (although understandably considering, as that sounds awful for you).

When my sister does someone's nails and they've had a shocking manicure somewhere else, she will share a photo of the 'before' to indicate what to watch out for (as well as promote the fact that she would do a good job), and share info with her clients. I see this as the same.

I would say it's not a problem provided your house isn't at all identifiable and she asked you first. Otherwise YANBU. However, I would expect her to clean the drains anyway - I don't think she is saying you are grim she is just posting pics and trying to be a mini Mrs Hinch or whoever it is!

Unless you've given her permission to do so, she can't share images of your home on social media. She's shown very poor judgment - who knows what else she'll think it's ok to share in future?! I would be finding another cleaner in this situation.

Hope you're ok, OP - please try not to worry about it (easier said than done, I realise).

That is not on I wouldn’t trust her anymore TBH sorry op I hope you feel better soon

Very rude and kind of stupid. As a cleaner, why is she telling people to clean their own homes? That's putting herself out of business. I wouldn't hire her based on that incase she decided to 'shame' me either.

You would have loved mine then, I had to use the loo plunger, I thought I'd caught a rat but it was an accumulation of hair, totally disgustiung, certainly doing it more often now!

I bet it felt great after you’d cleaned it though!

Fwiw OP (and any others) if your cleaner is regularly drumming up business on fb or wherever it means they aren’t retaining regular clients. Now maybe that’s because they only do one off cleans but if they’re your regular cleaner then it’s unlikely you’re their only regular. So I’d keep an eye on that and start wondering why they always need to drum up business.

I think it's horrible of her to use her clients' homes as sets for her little "lesson" videos. That's not professional.

And it's also disgusting. Who wants to see a hairy drain clog?! I feel ill looking at "my own", which is my own and my husband's hair. Scrolling through FB and seeing one at random would make me queasy.

You could write onto social media:

Sorry about that, I'm losing my hair and need a wig. I do actually clean that drain 3x per week myself as I lose that much hair.

Posting a photo of an unidentifiable shower tray, so she can show off how thorough she is = OK

Posting a photo of the OP's bathroom, where OP and any of her friends and family might recognise it = not OK

Hi, OP! So sorry about your hair loss! Of course you're not being ridiculous! She's being rude and thoughtless, you can't go around and post pictures from people's homes, unless you have permission. Do tell her! Is she an amazing cleaner, would you miss her if you'd sack her?

Oh, and just to clarify, I didn't mean you were disgusting, OP! (I hope you feel better and less stressed soon!) Just that it's a weird thing for her to post on social media. Any clog, no matter the circumstances, is gross to look at, and it isn't the kind of thing you expect or want to see on FB!

She shouldn't have done it, for a variety of reasons.

She should have asked you if you were happy with her posting this. As you've quite rightly pointed out, this isn't just a case of someone not cleaning hair from plug holes, it's because of a medical issue and you're, again quite rightly, sensitive about it.

Really sorry about your ill health and hair, OP.

I have had patches of temporary alopecia throughout my adult life and it can make you feel SO self conscious, however hard you try to be rational with yourself. I'm not surprised you had a little cry.

Cleaners have access to people's most intimate domestic details and should be more sensitive and respectful She is your cleaner, not Kim and Aggie making a TV programme.

Fine to show anonymous 'job well done' - totally different from showing the 'before' when it is someone's home.

I'm with WorraLiberty on this. Neither option, both are unreasonably extreme. You're taking it too personally. Just forget it.