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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner put photo on facebook

305 replies

PortToTheLeft · 08/12/2020 13:30

My cleaner has a facebook page where photos of cleans she has done are often posted - clean ovens, hoovered carpets, clear showerscreens etc. All fine.

She did my house today and I've just seen she put a thing on facebook of pulling a load of hair out of my shower drain with a comment to tell people to remember to clean their shower drains weekly.

I get this is grim but:
a) this is NOT a job I would expect her to have to do - it is definitely something I usually do.
b) I am under a lot of pressure just now and not 100% well. One symptom of this is that my hair is literally falling out. I have a shower and it comes out in clumps. I have bald patches all over my head. This is really really upsetting me. It does mean my shower drain needs cleared more often (every couple of days). I just happen not to have done it today.

I try to be as considerate as possible - I always tidy before she comes, I ensure the toilets are presentable etc.

The FB video doesn't identify me, but she must know I'll see it as our contact is always by FB messenger so I feel this is basically a way of telling me how grim I am. I am also already pretty emotional about the hair loss anyway.

So AIBU?
YABU: I am a disgusting person and should apologise to her.
YANBU: Not acceptable, if she had an issue she should not clean it, or say something to me.

I'm not sure what to do next either - regardless of whether I am unreasonable or not, I will not feel comfortable with her in my house feeling that any grimness of mine will end up on facebook.

OP posts:
canigooutyet · 08/12/2020 14:25

I would sack her. I would be livid that pictures of my home were online, and she could shove her broom up her arse at what is basically shaming pictures/images.

She could have easily set up her own drain to use as a reminder, not her customers.

2bazookas · 08/12/2020 14:25

What a horrible breach of her clients' privacy and trust.

She'd be my ex-cleaner PDQ.

WiddlinDiddlin · 08/12/2020 14:26

I'd have a quiet word.

She is almost certainly NOT attempting to shame you, its not personal.

She is producing content for her facebook page which she needs to do regularly to get new customers and run her job.

What she ALSO needs to do is ask your bloody permission, but these vids and before/after photos are SUCH common content I suspect she just hasn't realised she should ask, or that you might genuinely think she was having some sort of passive aggressive social media based pop at you.

Just talk to her eh. Communicating with people directly makes life so much simpler!

gottakeeponmovin · 08/12/2020 14:29

That would piss me off and if it is anyway identifiable I would ask for her to remove it

JacobReesMogadishu · 08/12/2020 14:30

I think seeing as you're not identifiable I would let it go.

My poor dog had a photo of shame posted by the village dog groomer on her FB page along with a post about brushing your dog more thoroughly or they will get matted and have to be shaved! Everyone recognized it was my dog and were messaging me! I didn't say anything to her.

EmilySpinach · 08/12/2020 14:31

@YoniAndGuy

I would be unemotional about it but address it.

'Could you remove the drain post please. As you might not realise, I'm unwell at the moment and hair loss is one symptom, so I'd rather not have a reminder of that on facebook. It might also be more relevant to use a post featuring a drain you actually do unblock regularly - as far as I'm aware this is the first time you have had to do this at ours as it's usually something I tackle myself. Many thanks'

Yes, plus ‘in future, please do not post photos or videos taken in my house without first securing my explicit permission.’
canigooutyet · 08/12/2020 14:31

I would be wondering what she is saying behind customers backs as well.

If she was not sure about sharing pictures, data protection etc then she should have looked into this before she started plastering other people's stuff online. Ignorance is no excuse.

@PortToTheLeft If the cleaner refuses or tries to minimise this, report the pictures directly to FaceBook. I have done this myself, and FB have quickly removed them and issued a warning to the person.

JacobReesMogadishu · 08/12/2020 14:32

And I can see why she's done it. Someone looking at her page would think what a thorough cleaner she is. Good for business I guess.

Welshmiss38 · 08/12/2020 14:32

I had a deep clean that literally posted 30 images of my house! Including my front door and the area. I have a huge amount of expensive technology for my business and everything was on show .. I never used her again and made a complaint!!
I specifically tell any cleaner I used now, no images are to be posted.

Bella43 · 08/12/2020 14:34

Surely this is a breach of confidentiality? She's in your home and you haven't given her permission to upload pictures. This is so unprofessional and you don't have to explain why the hairs are there. If she's unhappy cleaning the drain, why didn't she just tell you?

MillieVanilla · 08/12/2020 14:34

Sorry I would terminate my contract with her immediately, citing a gross invasion of privacy.
What a cow!

Flowers for you OP, I have interning hair loss due to PCOS so know what you mean about embarrassment and upset.

Kokosrieksts · 08/12/2020 14:35

I don't understand the pressure a lot of women put on themselves, clearly you hire a cleaner to make your everyday easier so I don’t understand why you tidy before the cleaner comes?
While shower hair aren’t pretty, it’s not a big deal if you hadn’t cleaned it. If a cleaner is too discussed by it she shouldn’t be a cleaner. That’s my opinion anyway.

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 08/12/2020 14:35

I’d be getting a new cleaner. If she asks why say: I didn’t like seeing my house on your Facebook post. I value discretion and am a private person. Thanks for your work and seeeee yaaaaaa.

Kudostoyou · 08/12/2020 14:37

That’s absolutely terrible, I would be so upset if this happened too Flowers

werenotreallyhere · 08/12/2020 14:39

I have a friend who runs a cleaning business, and she oftens posts these types of posts. She's not saying the person should have done it, she's saying "ooooo, don't forget all these small bits as well, can't be bothered? Call and employ me instead! It's part of the service!" and it does work. Also I sometimes have my hair falling out and sometimes not, and the shower drain always gets clogged regardless, it's something to be expected and something you'd expect a cleaner to do.

hansgrueber · 08/12/2020 14:41

@Smallsteps88

I’m a cleaner. I love cleaning out people’s shower drains Blush

I dont post anything on FB though.

You would have loved mine then, I had to use the loo plunger, I thought I'd caught a rat but it was an accumulation of hair, totally disgustiung, certainly doing it more often now!
EmilySpinach · 08/12/2020 14:43

@werenotreallyhere

I have a friend who runs a cleaning business, and she oftens posts these types of posts. She's not saying the person should have done it, she's saying "ooooo, don't forget all these small bits as well, can't be bothered? Call and employ me instead! It's part of the service!" and it does work. Also I sometimes have my hair falling out and sometimes not, and the shower drain always gets clogged regardless, it's something to be expected and something you'd expect a cleaner to do.
But does your friend get her clients’ permission to publicise photos taken in their homes?
Lampzade · 08/12/2020 14:43

My gardener asks for my permission before he posts before and after photos to advertise his business
YanBu

ReetDortyLass · 08/12/2020 14:43

Even if no one knows it's your gaff, that's not the point. It's demeaning.

Extreme confidentiality is vital when you are working in someones home.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/12/2020 14:44

@unebaguettepastropcuite

I take it she didn't name you and say you were disgusting?

I think just a message saying you wouldn't usualy mind if she had asked you, but that given your hair loss is due to health issues, you find the post upsetting and would like her to take it down.

If she doesn't comply, then you need to find another cleaner

Have you contacted her asking her to remove it yet? This sort of message captures how you are feeling without being emotional. Flowers
Persephonegoddess · 08/12/2020 14:45

I think if you weren't currently suffering volume hair loss it would be okay but given your OP and how sensitive you feel and that people bathrooms can be identified by friends then I think she should remove it and choose a different aspect of your clean to try and advertise her skills

StrangeLookingParasite · 08/12/2020 14:45

@ButtWormHole

She’s just getting content for her Facebook page. Get a grip
Worst argument ever.
jessycake · 08/12/2020 14:45

I bet she has been following insta cleaners , I've seen a few of them do this , but they always ask permission from their clients before posting

Bippitybop · 08/12/2020 14:50

Maybe I’m a drama llama but I definitely wouldn’t be using her services any more!!!

Baggingarea · 08/12/2020 14:52

She's obviously just seen cleanfluencers and wants to be the next Mrs Hinch. But hasn't thought through that maybe she should ask permission from her clients first.

I'm sorry about your hair loss and stress OP. I'm sure the cleaner wasn't meaning to highlight this but rather build up her social media profile.

If you want to keep her, perhaps just gently ask her in the future would be run anything she wants to post past you? Say it's just a privacy / security concern thing.

However if you want to get rid of her you'd be well within your rights to sack her off. But I know how hard it is to find a cleaner!!