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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner put photo on facebook

305 replies

PortToTheLeft · 08/12/2020 13:30

My cleaner has a facebook page where photos of cleans she has done are often posted - clean ovens, hoovered carpets, clear showerscreens etc. All fine.

She did my house today and I've just seen she put a thing on facebook of pulling a load of hair out of my shower drain with a comment to tell people to remember to clean their shower drains weekly.

I get this is grim but:
a) this is NOT a job I would expect her to have to do - it is definitely something I usually do.
b) I am under a lot of pressure just now and not 100% well. One symptom of this is that my hair is literally falling out. I have a shower and it comes out in clumps. I have bald patches all over my head. This is really really upsetting me. It does mean my shower drain needs cleared more often (every couple of days). I just happen not to have done it today.

I try to be as considerate as possible - I always tidy before she comes, I ensure the toilets are presentable etc.

The FB video doesn't identify me, but she must know I'll see it as our contact is always by FB messenger so I feel this is basically a way of telling me how grim I am. I am also already pretty emotional about the hair loss anyway.

So AIBU?
YABU: I am a disgusting person and should apologise to her.
YANBU: Not acceptable, if she had an issue she should not clean it, or say something to me.

I'm not sure what to do next either - regardless of whether I am unreasonable or not, I will not feel comfortable with her in my house feeling that any grimness of mine will end up on facebook.

OP posts:
Blondiney · 09/12/2020 20:56

Gross invasion of privacy. I'd be looking for a new cleaner.

Chocolatechocolatechocolate · 09/12/2020 21:05

I would be upset about this too. I’m sorry you have not been feeling well.

ShagMeRiggins · 09/12/2020 21:07

It is NOT a GDPR issue as the photo does not contain or link to identifiable data.

That’s arguable, legally.

user1490954378 · 09/12/2020 21:23

I'm a member of a cleaning group on FB. (I don't have a cleaning business but I enjoy reading the tips and advice on how to clean this and that..) I see this type of thing on there all the time. Sometimes I wonder if I would be very happy is that was photos of my house, and isn't a breach of privacy? I'd ask her politely to remove said photo(s) and ask her not to post any future pictures without permission. You could write it into you contract of employment that no photos of your home or you, are to be posted anywhere on the internet/any social media or shared with anyone else, and get her to add her signature.

DreamTheMoors · 09/12/2020 21:34

@PortToTheLeft

Get a TubShroom (on Amazon) in the meantime to make it easier to get the hair out. They’re really great.
And when I went through the same thing, taking Saw Palmetto supplements and using DHT blocking shampoo helped too.
As far as the breach of trust, I’m not sure I could keep someone on who violated my privacy and friendship like that - but you’re not me.
Good luck and much love.

HairyPottyMouth · 09/12/2020 21:34

She’s making a video to keep up engagement on her FB page. She wasn’t commenting on you personally, and none of her viewers, bar you, have any idea when that drain was cleaned last. You may not be happy about the post, but it’s not worth falling out with her over.

Damsel · 09/12/2020 21:40

Very sorry first of all to hear about your health issues & I wish you well.

I am stunned that your cleaner posted a video on social media taken in your house, a private home, without your agreement.

I would absolutely fire her & tell her to take it down immediately & she’s lucky you’re not taking legal action for gross invasion of privacy.

How does she think this is acceptable, never mind legal. And how does she have any clients?

Staggering.

Localocal · 09/12/2020 22:00

I think she should probably not post pictures from inside your house without asking you, but if she didn't identify the drain then I don't think it's a big deal. I think your hair loss (which she has probably not noticed) is making you more upset than you would otherwise be about this. I'm sure it was upsetting to see your lovely hair down the drain and I expect you feel exposed because everyone else has seen it. But they won't know whose house and hair it was.

I would let her know it upset you because of your hair falling out, and I'm sure she will be mortified and never do it again.

Best wishes for your recovery from illness.

Celestine70 · 09/12/2020 22:13

I think you are over reacting because it must be so upsetting to be losing hair. Everyone gets drain hair and I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you. Just ask her to take it down.

Fishfingersandwichplease · 09/12/2020 22:18

My chimney sweep actually asked me if he could post a pic of my roaring fire on social media - absolutely no way to could tell whose house it was but the point is, he still checked. Am sure she meant well OP but l would hate this

Alleycat1 · 09/12/2020 22:20

My issue would be that she posted pictures of rooms in my house without asking permission. Very unkind of her to highlight the drain as she knows how upset you are about your hair loss too.
Best wishes for your recovery.

Incrediblytired · 09/12/2020 22:21

My cleaner asked me if she could put a few pics on Facebook. I said yes but if she hadn’t asked if havd been annoyed

Mother2princess · 09/12/2020 22:22

Id sack her really that's not acceptable

ruby4ever · 09/12/2020 22:34

I would speak to her about it. Send a mssg say it's upset you that she's posted it on fb, your going through hair loss at the moment which is why it's so much more. Although I don't think you need to explain that much!
However if I had a cleaner, I would expect the shower drain to get cleaned by the cleaner, maybe not every single week but at least once a month. Surely that's why one pays a cleaner to do the cleaning job?

lonelylou09 · 09/12/2020 23:04

I am a cleaner and one of my clients has issues with hair loss. I clean the shower drain every week but wouldn't dream of posting on Facebook and especially not without asking permission first. I think you have every right to feel upset and to just ask her to take the post down. I would think she's not done it personally to cause you any shame or distress but it's still inappropriate.

Mamanyt · 09/12/2020 23:43

OH, dear. You both ABU and ANBU. IF there is no way to identify the photo, then it's a bit unreasonable. However, if there was an issue, she should have spoken with you.

I'd mention to her that you are very sorry you didn't manage to clean the drain this time, that you weren't feeling well. I'm sure she is aware of the health issues. She may actually be a bit embarrassed when reminded of them.

saraclara · 10/12/2020 01:15

For goodness' sake. This isn't just about the drain or the hairloss.
This is about someone who has access to someone's home and everything that's in it, and who has no sense of confidentiality or privacy.

It's at best unprofessional, and it's likely to be the tip of the iceberg. I imagine that she discusses all her clients' homes and standards with her friends as well.

Shortfeet · 10/12/2020 01:38

I don’t think you are at all disgusting but if there’s nothing identifiable I think you are overreacting and actually she’s doing a public service by reminding people to clean their plug holes

Yeahnahmum · 10/12/2020 03:58

She should have asked for your permission yup
Re hairloss: put a stocking over the drain to stop the hair goinf down it 😊

Alleycat1 · 10/12/2020 04:20

saraclara That is it in a nutshell!

isthelightdawning · 10/12/2020 04:50

I understand your sensitivity. Some of my hair fell out over COVID and I went to the hairdressers and she said "oh yes you have lost quite a bit here." She was being completely reasonable; especially I had asked her opinion but having someone else notice it and comment on it nearly sent me into tears.

I don't think she was shaming you, but it was thoughtless of her to post it without speaking to you first.

If you have the emotional energy to address it, let her know the facts. You acknowledge that you have seen the post and recognised it as your home, you don't remember giving permission for her to use it and it was a bit of a shock seeing something so personal to you on FB without warning. If your working relationship is to continue in the future she would like her to ask permission first before posting photos of your home.

Something like that anyway :)

Pluckedpencil · 10/12/2020 04:51

I'd have two issues: the total breach of privacy and confidentiality in your home, and the fact that some of her paid time in your home was spent making YouTube videos. It's not professional, she lacks integrity, and for that reason I'd not even bother to explain, she would be gone.

FlyNow · 10/12/2020 07:05

She did the wrong thing and your hair loss doesn't even come in to it really. It would still be wrong even if she had posted "what a clean house I visited today" or "this sofa is a really nice colour", because it's not acceptable to go to work at or on someone's house and post pictures of it on sm without their permission.

101namesforme · 10/12/2020 07:30

Did you get in touch with her OP?

N0tthe0nlyfruit · 10/12/2020 07:36

Sack her. Dreadful decision on her part to post that.