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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner put photo on facebook

305 replies

PortToTheLeft · 08/12/2020 13:30

My cleaner has a facebook page where photos of cleans she has done are often posted - clean ovens, hoovered carpets, clear showerscreens etc. All fine.

She did my house today and I've just seen she put a thing on facebook of pulling a load of hair out of my shower drain with a comment to tell people to remember to clean their shower drains weekly.

I get this is grim but:
a) this is NOT a job I would expect her to have to do - it is definitely something I usually do.
b) I am under a lot of pressure just now and not 100% well. One symptom of this is that my hair is literally falling out. I have a shower and it comes out in clumps. I have bald patches all over my head. This is really really upsetting me. It does mean my shower drain needs cleared more often (every couple of days). I just happen not to have done it today.

I try to be as considerate as possible - I always tidy before she comes, I ensure the toilets are presentable etc.

The FB video doesn't identify me, but she must know I'll see it as our contact is always by FB messenger so I feel this is basically a way of telling me how grim I am. I am also already pretty emotional about the hair loss anyway.

So AIBU?
YABU: I am a disgusting person and should apologise to her.
YANBU: Not acceptable, if she had an issue she should not clean it, or say something to me.

I'm not sure what to do next either - regardless of whether I am unreasonable or not, I will not feel comfortable with her in my house feeling that any grimness of mine will end up on facebook.

OP posts:
LongPauseNoAnswer · 08/12/2020 15:38

Torches and pitchforks on this thread.

Unless she tagged you in the photo then I think you're overreacting. We all have hairy drains at some point, it's perfectly normal and nothing to be embarrassed about.

People need to calm down

Floralnomad · 08/12/2020 15:39

I really can’t see an issue with what she’s done , you say your house is not identifiable and you don’t say that she’s commented on it being disgusting or anything , she’s simply reminding other people who are not fortunate enough to use her cleaning service that they should check their shower drains . You are taking it way too personally and neither of your options for the vote are applicable . Hope you feel better soon @PortToTheLeft

MrsMcTats · 08/12/2020 15:41

This is something I'm finding an increasing issue with. I'm not sure what the legal standing is, but I don't think it's right to take pictures in people homes and post on social media without permission. I recently had the oven cleaned and specifically said no social media when I booked. As soon as they arrived they were taking pictures of my dirty oven, which I didn't want on their FB page as our friends also follow them. They then took after pics and the husband said 'these pics will be going on tonight, but we won't tag you.' I was then guilted into allowing it as 'they are a small business and need the content etc.' I gave in, but never will again. It felt like an invasion of privacy. A patio cleaner did the same, showing our battered patio to the whole village. I find it embarrassing. I support small business whenever possible, but I've started not using them because they don't always have good privacy policies.

Stand your ground OP. It's irrelevant if anyone else finds it an issue. You found it upsetting and that's what matters.

LindaEllen · 08/12/2020 15:41

She probably meant it more to show people that they MUST do this not-very-nice job, in the hope that some might hire her to do it for them (along with the rest of their cleaning).

She should have asked you first.

I can understand why you've taken it the way you have, particularly if you're sensitive about your hair loss at the moment.

If I were you, I'd drop her a message and ask her if she'd run it by you before posting pics of your house in the future - and just let her know that you're unwell and it's causing hair loss that you're sensitive about, which is why you don't appreciate your home being used for this particular photo.

FWIW when I was on the pill I lost hair in clumps too and I have no idea why, but I felt the same when DP and DSS would comment about how my hair was everywhere. I was thinking I know, but why draw more attention to it!

Nefbachmorf · 08/12/2020 15:42

There's a cleaner local to me who loves shaming her clients on FB. One photo I saw clearly identified the homeowner and the family.

It's clear from the comments that she rarely checks if it's ok to post these pictures of people's homes, and she has lost business because of it.

Nefbachmorf · 08/12/2020 15:42

Sorry, also meant to say YANBU!

flaviaritt · 08/12/2020 15:43

It is clearly not okay to take photos in your clients’ homes without permission, let alone make them public. I don’t care if they feel the need to promote their business - if they want my business, they won’t invade my privacy.

EmilySpinach · 08/12/2020 15:44

I'm genuinely surprised at the number of people who would have no issue with this.

viques · 08/12/2020 15:46

I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well, and I hope you feel better soon, but I think you are overthinking this.

You have seen the pictures she has posted before about other clients homes, I don’t suppose you felt anything about those people, thought their homes were disgusting, or felt an urge to seek them out and shame them.In fact in your first post you say it is “all fine” to see them .Well other people will be feeling the same about the pictures of your shower drain. If it is “all fine” to see other people’s anonymous houses then frankly it is “all fine” to see yours.

werenotreallyhere · 08/12/2020 15:48

But does your friend get her clients’ permission to publicise photos taken in their homes?

I think she does, she runs quite a slick operation, but I think it's a checkbox in the initial T&Cs she gets her clients to sign so many probably don't remember. This cleaner is probably just copying her other cleaner friends and doesn't get privacy rules, a lot of people don't understand them. So she was wrong to post it without permission but I also don't think it was she was trying to shame the OP and this was her way of calling her grim. She's made a mistake which she hasn't been given the chance to correct and a lot of poeple are calling for her to be sacked, which seems a bit extreme if she does a good job.

user1471462428 · 08/12/2020 15:49

Just have to add I’m not sure I’d be able to identify any of my friends by their plug holes or hair in the plug hole!!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/12/2020 15:49

@yelyah22

I would see this as her just using common scenarios to promote her services on her Facebook, I think it's just an unfortunate coincidence that you have illness-related hair loss at the moment which is making you feel worse about it (although understandably considering, as that sounds awful for you).

When my sister does someone's nails and they've had a shocking manicure somewhere else, she will share a photo of the 'before' to indicate what to watch out for (as well as promote the fact that she would do a good job), and share info with her clients. I see this as the same.

I do understand people wanting to promote their businesses, @yelyahww - but don’t you think the cleaner or manicurist should ask the client’s permission before posting the photos?
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/12/2020 15:49

Sorry - that should be @yelyah22 - fat fingered mistake. Blush

Floralnomad · 08/12/2020 15:51

@EmilySpinach

I'm genuinely surprised at the number of people who would have no issue with this.
I would have an issue if the house was identifiable but it’s not . If she’d posted Mrs Bloggs at 27 Greenway didn’t clean her shower tray and look what I found then obviously that’s an issue , but general look at what you can find in a shower drain and remember to clean it advice is fine .
WinterWhore · 08/12/2020 15:52

Your taking it way to personally. Your not disgusting, life sucks. She clearly doesn't have a problem shes just promoting business. Granted she should of asked permission

MrsMcTats · 08/12/2020 15:52

@EmilySpinach

I'm genuinely surprised at the number of people who would have no issue with this.
Me too! It doesn't matter that the home isn't identifiable, it's the fact she has come into the OP's personal space and seen fit to take pictures of her hair- filled drain and then share on FB. Allowing a cleaner into your home is a very personal thing. We used to have a cleaner and I struggled with this, although she made it clear that she never talked about anything she saw etc. If people are allowing you into their private space, respect that, don't put it all over social media.
Baggingarea · 08/12/2020 15:55

@MrsMcTats agree. Another point to make is that if the cleaner thinks it's ok to not ask permission, she might think it's ok to identify your home in future posts.

Think whatever you do, you need to address this.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/12/2020 15:55

I agree, @MrsMcTats.

ConcernedAuntie · 08/12/2020 15:56

@Anordinarymum

Why hasn't she cleaned the hair before if that is her job. Cheeky cow
From the OP -

I get this is grim but:
a) this is NOT a job I would expect her to have to do - it is definitely something I usually do.

PleasantVille · 08/12/2020 15:57

This is so going to end up on the DM and other news sites, I bet Loose Women already have it in their running order for tomorrow, that's going to be even more embarrassing.

Roselilly36 · 08/12/2020 16:04

She wouldn’t be my cleaner any longer, what an awful thing to do.

thosetalesofunexpected · 08/12/2020 16:06

Hi Op
I am former Cleaner of guest rooms of a well known Popular Low budget hotel Chain.

(What your Cleaner did is No Way Acceptable !!!!
And Totally not Professional AT All
(That Cheeky fucker of a Cleaner did not even Ask/get your Permission at all !!!

(How Disrespectful of Her 😬😬😬

You have every right to feel Hurt/Pissed OFF with Her !!!

(This Cleaner is obviously trying to be a Facebook MRS Hinch wannabe at your expense.!!!

(As a Cleaner Being Discreet/Confidential essential/very important !!!
(There are no grey areas/Loop holes to these Code of Practice at All.in regard to being a Cleaner !!

(Your Cleaner has breached her Cleaner agreement..
(As a Professional Cleaner she should have Asked, and if she had your Permission then only then put your House Photos,

(Even before putting Any Photos,
your Cleaner should have Checked with you,
that there was no identifiable images/photos of your house AT All..😬

(My advice is to put your Cleaner straight that this not Acceptable/and she had no right at All to do this...

(Personally myself if I was you Op
I been very tempted to dismiss her services as a Cleaner and get rid of her...

(What she your Cleaner did
Was hurtful/Humiliating to you !!!

(I hope sincerely the photos she put up are not obvious/or even slightly obvious that they are identify as your house...

As this is a very serious,a
A potential security breach risk, strangers/weirdos knowing where you Live Op

(If she Cleaner has done this !!
You Op
Have to read her the Riot Act !!!
(Hope she hasn't
As this is police matter..

(Beef up your security Op
Make sure house has got good security..

Very sorry op
About your hair loss

(She your Cleaner,
Is giving Professional Cleaners A bad Reputation !!!

(

LongDistanceClaret · 08/12/2020 16:13

There really is no need for this on social media.
I think it’s pretty bloody weird for her to upload this.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/12/2020 16:14

@WinterWhore

Your taking it way to personally. Your not disgusting, life sucks. She clearly doesn't have a problem shes just promoting business. Granted she should of asked permission
The OP is not disgusting at all but it is not OK to post pictures of another person's home without permission, or, indeed, any other workplace.
LongDistanceClaret · 08/12/2020 16:17

I mean, what next, skid mark removal?