Cleaner put photo on facebook

[PortToTheLeft]

My cleaner has a facebook page where photos of cleans she has done are often posted - clean ovens, hoovered carpets, clear showerscreens etc. All fine.

She did my house today and I've just seen she put a thing on facebook of pulling a load of hair out of my shower drain with a comment to tell people to remember to clean their shower drains weekly.

I get this is grim but:
a) this is NOT a job I would expect her to have to do - it is definitely something I usually do.
b) I am under a lot of pressure just now and not 100% well. One symptom of this is that my hair is literally falling out. I have a shower and it comes out in clumps. I have bald patches all over my head. This is really really upsetting me. It does mean my shower drain needs cleared more often (every couple of days). I just happen not to have done it today.

I try to be as considerate as possible - I always tidy before she comes, I ensure the toilets are presentable etc.

The FB video doesn't identify me, but she must know I'll see it as our contact is always by FB messenger so I feel this is basically a way of telling me how grim I am. I am also already pretty emotional about the hair loss anyway.

So AIBU?
YABU: I am a disgusting person and should apologise to her.
YANBU: Not acceptable, if she had an issue she should not clean it, or say something to me.

I'm not sure what to do next either - regardless of whether I am unreasonable or not, I will not feel comfortable with her in my house feeling that any grimness of mine will end up on facebook.

A gardener reminding people to prune their plants is nothing like a cleaner filming a mass of the OPs hair congealed down a shower drain! One indicates a household that is perhaps busy, the other suggests a lack of hygiene which is embarrassing!

I’m a cleaner. I love cleaning out people’s shower drains

I dont post anything on FB though.

I would sack my cleaner if she did this! (She wouldn't and she is fab)

Actually this reminds me of a scenario many years ago where we were renting a house and with no notice they sent a handyman round while DP and I were at work to fix an issue with the bathroom. When I got home I found a strange man in the house who reprimanded me for leaving my hair in the bath abs that he’d had to deal with it!!

I can remember standing on the stairs feeling very embarrassed about a scenario that had fuck all to do with this complete stranger who I hadn’t invited into the house! I’d shaved my legs in the bath, let the bath water go and hadn’t gone back in there as it ran out to rinse it down. Shoot me.

There's a cleaner in our village who puts "before and after" photos from her cleaning jobs up on the local Facebook group. There is no way on earth I would ever employ her due to the lack of privacy from these photos.

I would message asking her to take the photo down.

She almost certainly didn't think about why your drain is full of hair -thoughtless rather than malicious. If you feel up to it you could let her know how it made you feel, but I know I wouldn't have the mental energy for it.

Yanbu

She should ask for permission to take photos and use for advertising, that's your private home. Imagine if you had friends or family on the page who recognise the room in the photo.

YADNBU and I'm sorry about your illness. I wouldn't continue with this cleaner if I'm honest, and I would tell her why. Only exception would be if this is one blip in a long period of great service and she apologises immediately and removes the post.

Ok, it might not be identifiable to others but it's hardly discreet or professional behaviour. You're not paying her to make an example of your uncleaned drains to the world. She should have asked permission.

I feel quite strongly about this as I too have an ongoing illness which I like to manage with a degree of privacy and dignity. I don't want the effects of this shared without my permission (the symptoms are not the same as yours but I wouldn't be pleased in any equivalent situation).

Plus it's unclear what point she's making. Has she neglected to do the drains every week or is she chiding you for not doing so?

I would be unemotional about it but address it.

'Could you remove the drain post please. As you might not realise, I'm unwell at the moment and hair loss is one symptom, so I'd rather not have a reminder of that on facebook. It might also be more relevant to use a post featuring a drain you actually do unblock regularly - as far as I'm aware this is the first time you have had to do this at ours as it's usually something I tackle myself. Many thanks'

Like others I would sack her. If someone is coming into your home you need to be able to trust them, this would be lost for me after seeing that on FB

I’m really sorry about your hair loss, I can see why this was particularly upsetting.

I don’t think for a moment that she was trying to shame you though. That page is for her to drum up (and keep) business. I do think that she should absolutely ask before posting - I’d have it in the contract, permission to post non identifying photos. You shouldn’t have to actively tell her not to do it, but if she knows you follow her page, she may have thought you’d have no issue. By posting that, she’s reminding people that some jobs that aren’t fun, can he avoided by paying her. It’s just business.

If you have always been happy otherwise with her service and work, I’d just message saying, “I see I made your hall of fame today... tbh, I don’t like pics from my house being used, so can you please not in future? Thanks!”

Thanks everyone. I've actually had a little cry over this which is unusual for me. I feel better knowing I'm not being ridiculous for being upset. On the other hand, the posts pointing out it most likely isn't personal have also helped.

I will send her a message asking for it to be taken down and see where it goes from there.

Thanks for the kind messages, I have a wig now for the bald patches which at least look ok for zoom!

I too would sack her immediately. Seriously who does this? It's a massive and unforgivable breach of privacy and it would not encourage me to employ her no matter how good at cleaning she is. She is mis reading her audience massively by posting stuff like this on her FB page. This is boundary crossing that is absolutely disgraceful.

@YoniAndGuy

I would be unemotional about it but address it.

'Could you remove the drain post please. As you might not realise, I'm unwell at the moment and hair loss is one symptom, so I'd rather not have a reminder of that on facebook. It might also be more relevant to use a post featuring a drain you actually do unblock regularly - as far as I'm aware this is the first time you have had to do this at ours as it's usually something I tackle myself. Many thanks'

That’s a good response.

YANBU. If she's a good cleaner, just ask her simply to not post anything about your house again, you don't need to explain why. If she's not a good cleaner then I'd get rid.

I got rid of a cleaner who posted photos of my flat on Facebook without permission, it’s a total breach of privacy and not ok, even if they aren’t making a “look at this filthy hovel” point.

Did you sign a contract with her, with a waiver in it that she could use photos for advertising purposes? If not, then she has not right to be putting pictures of your house/dirt on social media. If you did and didn't realise, then ask for the contract to be amended as you withdraw approval.

I would message her saying that this is not appropriate and is a very sensitive matter to you.

She probably didn't think, has been a bit tactless and just used it as an example of what not to do.

Dismissed!

What a load of fuss about nothing, the owner of the shower drain can't be identified from the Facebook post, forget about it.

What a breach of privacy OP. No wonder you find it upsetting. I'd be letting her go very quickly. Your house and life is not a performance for her to use.

Does anybody honestly think this would drum up business though?

The thought of having my house illustrated on her FB page would have me making a note of her number with the words DO NOT CALL THIS, right by it. She might as well call her business, Iwillshameyou.com

She is a cleaner trying to make content for her facebook page to stay active and drum up business. That's all it is. Nothing personal, not trying to send you any sort of message. You or your house can't be identified. Not a big deal or any kind of deal at all imo.

I had my oven cleaned a few weeks ago,
It was mank, not been touched in 3 years due to a prolaps in my spine.
The block that did it ASKED my permission to use a before and after photo.
He was so good and didn’t have anything in the photo that would identify my house. He showed me the photos before he posted them.
I’d understand why your pissed off and I would not be happy.

YANBU. I am currently losing a lot of hair post covid and this would upset me too. Even without the hair loss though she shouldn’t have posted anything without your permission.
I had a cleaner once who posted a photo of herself (on her personal Facebook page) weighing herself naked on my bathroom scales for her weekly ‘weigh in’. I found that funny

Sack her - she’s a cheeky fucker - and get one of those little plughole sieve things. They’re brilliant. Mine was from Lakeland. My hair falls out when I’ve got iron deficient anaemia and I’d rather catch it before it’s gone down the drain.

Well her legs were naked... couldn’t see the rest of her!