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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner put photo on facebook

305 replies

PortToTheLeft · 08/12/2020 13:30

My cleaner has a facebook page where photos of cleans she has done are often posted - clean ovens, hoovered carpets, clear showerscreens etc. All fine.

She did my house today and I've just seen she put a thing on facebook of pulling a load of hair out of my shower drain with a comment to tell people to remember to clean their shower drains weekly.

I get this is grim but:
a) this is NOT a job I would expect her to have to do - it is definitely something I usually do.
b) I am under a lot of pressure just now and not 100% well. One symptom of this is that my hair is literally falling out. I have a shower and it comes out in clumps. I have bald patches all over my head. This is really really upsetting me. It does mean my shower drain needs cleared more often (every couple of days). I just happen not to have done it today.

I try to be as considerate as possible - I always tidy before she comes, I ensure the toilets are presentable etc.

The FB video doesn't identify me, but she must know I'll see it as our contact is always by FB messenger so I feel this is basically a way of telling me how grim I am. I am also already pretty emotional about the hair loss anyway.

So AIBU?
YABU: I am a disgusting person and should apologise to her.
YANBU: Not acceptable, if she had an issue she should not clean it, or say something to me.

I'm not sure what to do next either - regardless of whether I am unreasonable or not, I will not feel comfortable with her in my house feeling that any grimness of mine will end up on facebook.

OP posts:
Nohomemadecandles · 08/12/2020 19:42

@RayOfSunshine2013

You sound a bit sensitive. Understandably its upset you however i would expect the cleaner is purely using it as advertising and promoting her business rather than trying to shame you or make you feel like you have a dirty home.
Shaming your customers on their own social media timelines has to be one of the most horrific marketing tools I've come across. They wouldn't coming back inside my home. It's rude, intrusive, inappropriate, insensitive, nasty, low and probably illegal!
teraculum29 · 08/12/2020 19:47

OP,
check your thyroid. (it could be one of the symptoms of underactive thyroid).

And the cleaner should ask for permission to post your house pictures.

CorvusPurpureus · 08/12/2020 20:03

She'd be immediately gone, as far as I'm concerned.

I pay a cleaner so my house doesn't look shit. If I wanted there to be pictures on t'internet of my house looking shit, I'd post them myself, thank you very much, & not have a cleaner.

Her FB page with pictures of clients' houses would definitely have deterred me from hiring her in the first place, tbh.

I'm not particularly precious generally, nor house proud, but I'd really dislike this.

Marleymoo42 · 08/12/2020 20:19

I would be mad if my cleaner posted any photos of our house without my permission - it is so unprofessional! And to post something so personal is awful!

Quite apart from it being a sensitive issue for you, I dont think anyone would be ok with their drain hair being posted on facebook!I would find this really upsetting. Politely let her know she no.longer has permission to post photos on facebook and ask her to remove all pictures of your house YADNBU

UsernameChat · 08/12/2020 20:27

I put YABU not because I think you are disgusting, but because it seems you may be blowing this out of proportion. It sounds like your cleaner uses these photos to promote her business and, as you said, she used the image as a prompt to remind people of areas that need cleaning (the unspoken message being, that she could clean for them). I wouldn't take it personally. However, it you're uncomfortable with her using photos of your home, just say, please don't post photos of my home on social media.

Wellpark · 08/12/2020 20:28

That's a breach of trust. If I were you I would fire her

SpudsandGravy · 08/12/2020 20:28

YANBU.

saraclara · 08/12/2020 21:05

It's a reflection on her attitude to her clients' privacy. And that's what would bother me most. Having someone in your house, in a position to rummage round, read your post, look in your drawers and files (even if they don't) is an act of trust. We hope that our cleaners will respect that position of trust and the confidentiality that is assumed.

If she's casual enough about privacy to post this on her Facebook, then I wouldn't trust her to be respecting my privacy at all, and I'd assume that she was talking about me, my possessions, my cleanliness and my business to all and sundry.

HeyDW96 · 08/12/2020 21:19

YANBU

But I wouldn't be tidying for my cleaner to come round, surely she should work for her money..

VinylDetective · 08/12/2020 21:33

A cleaner is paid to clean, not tidy up. I always tidied up before mine came. I didn’t want her wasting time moving clutter around.

ScalpHelp · 08/12/2020 21:36

I’m in between your two options

You don’t need to apologise and you’re not disgusting. My hair has fallen out this year due to stress too, so I definitely emphasise with you. However the cleaning lady probably wasn’t aware you were suffering with hair loss and wouldn’t realise it would touch a raw nerve. Still rude to post though!

NeverTwerkNaked · 09/12/2020 08:14

@VinylDetective that's why I advertised for a "home help" rather than a cleaner. mine does my dishes, laundry, tidies and sorts etc as well as cleaning.

MagnoliaBeige · 09/12/2020 08:21

I sound send her a brief message saying “please remove the video of my house from Facebook, I did not consent to you sharing my private home in this way.” You have no need to explain your hair loss to her and I’m not sure I could have someone in my house who thought it was ok to do this.

AnyFucker · 09/12/2020 08:29

I reckon those saying "it's a non issue" have never experienced the devastation of severe hair loss

I am sorry, op. Take care.

Nowstrong · 09/12/2020 08:37

Explain briefly your loss of hair. Perhaps consider a new cleaner. I'm sorry that you are unwell. Hope you feel better soon. Take care.

CharlotteRose90 · 09/12/2020 08:37

As someone who lost over half my hair with chemo I’d personally love a cleaner so I didn’t have to clean the shower or bath myself. That’s my biggest fear looking down and seeing the hair. Wouldn’t bother me her posting the pics either. As long as she doesn’t identify you it shouldn’t matter.

lentilsforlunch · 09/12/2020 08:42

Agree with Saraclara is about attitude to privacy and trust. What next photos of your loo?

canigooutyet · 09/12/2020 10:38

Just because she's running a small business means diddly squat when it comes to sharing client information.

No one should be forced or made gguilty to help the business get. more custom, and especially not through the use of media. Data protection doesn't just cover some businesses but all types.

I would not be explaining health issues to anyone, and had this cleaner not breached trust, the op wouldn't have been put into this position.

The cleaner should have asked. You say no, that's it. Any coercion as seen on this thread, report them. FB will take them down when reported and so what if the company get a temp ban? You can also report these idiots to Trading standards,

It's not like popping round your mates house. These are "professional" people who you have a working contract with. Regardless of where the business happens, you would expect professionalism and privacy and even more so when they are working in your home.

Bad business practice, who lose out to the word of mouth business. You can invade people's privacy as much as you want. But when it comes to recommendations - well if you dont mind your home on show on SM use this person. Not having that seriously damages business regardless of how nice their sm might look.

canigooutyet · 09/12/2020 10:40

Personally I would message this cleaner and all idiots who think they can get away with this,

You have 24 hours to remove all unauthorised pictures before I escalate this. Your services are no longer required.

Viviennemary · 09/12/2020 10:45

She needs to check with you first before she puts photos of your house on Facebook. Doesn't matter if it's recognisable or not.

canigooutyet · 09/12/2020 10:55

GDPR includes all businesses. A photo/video is classed under personal data.
Sharing personal data in this way should be seperate from the companies T&C's. Even if consent was given it can be withdrawn at any time.

I go into people's homes as their assistant, unless I think they are a risk to themselves/others, unless I have their express permission any pictures/videos made in their home cannot be shared.

I could understand if this was new, but even before GDPR there were data protections in place. Those school photo/video sharing consent forms aren't only applicable in schools.

merrymouse · 09/12/2020 11:13

It's not even clear that she is trying to drum up cleaning business on her face book page. If she is advising other people how to clean rather than talking about her own cleaning services, it sounds more as though she is using pictures from her clients' homes to try to create a Mrs Hinch like on-line presence.

TheVamoosh · 09/12/2020 11:24

My cleaner does this for me. Why wouldn't she?

Honeyroar · 09/12/2020 11:28

That’s awful of her. I’d tell her you have a medical reason for all the hair loss, and that her completely unreasonable shaming post on Facebook hasn’t helped. Then I’d tell her she was fired.

TeaStory · 09/12/2020 14:06

It is NOT a GDPR issue as the photo does not contain or link to identifiable data.

However, I think from a moral and professional trust viewpoint, she was wrong to do this without permission. I would find it very hard to trust her again and I would definitely ask her to take the photo down. I’m sorry to hear of your health problems, I’ve had similar and it’s hard to explain to people who don’t to won’t get it why it’s such a big deal.