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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner put photo on facebook

305 replies

PortToTheLeft · 08/12/2020 13:30

My cleaner has a facebook page where photos of cleans she has done are often posted - clean ovens, hoovered carpets, clear showerscreens etc. All fine.

She did my house today and I've just seen she put a thing on facebook of pulling a load of hair out of my shower drain with a comment to tell people to remember to clean their shower drains weekly.

I get this is grim but:
a) this is NOT a job I would expect her to have to do - it is definitely something I usually do.
b) I am under a lot of pressure just now and not 100% well. One symptom of this is that my hair is literally falling out. I have a shower and it comes out in clumps. I have bald patches all over my head. This is really really upsetting me. It does mean my shower drain needs cleared more often (every couple of days). I just happen not to have done it today.

I try to be as considerate as possible - I always tidy before she comes, I ensure the toilets are presentable etc.

The FB video doesn't identify me, but she must know I'll see it as our contact is always by FB messenger so I feel this is basically a way of telling me how grim I am. I am also already pretty emotional about the hair loss anyway.

So AIBU?
YABU: I am a disgusting person and should apologise to her.
YANBU: Not acceptable, if she had an issue she should not clean it, or say something to me.

I'm not sure what to do next either - regardless of whether I am unreasonable or not, I will not feel comfortable with her in my house feeling that any grimness of mine will end up on facebook.

OP posts:
AgathaX · 09/12/2020 17:28

I think she's very cheeky, both for putting up a photo of your home and also for commenting on it in the way that she did.

She's there to provide a service. Alongside that, it should be obvious to her that she should respect your privacy completely. If she really must show photos of peoples homes, then I'd at least expect her to ask permission first.

It doesn't matter what the reason is for your plug to have hair in it. It's not her place to comment, or to share it with others.

Personally, I'd be looking for a new cleaner, one I could trust.

LittleMissMe99 · 09/12/2020 17:36

Absolutely unprofessional on her part. I'd get rid of her

Salome61 · 09/12/2020 17:39

I'd sack her. There are a lot of reliable conscientious people out there who'd bite your hand off.

Nodancingshoes · 09/12/2020 17:46

This is rude. YANBU. When I was pregnant with terrible morning sickness, I hired a cleaner as I was just not well enough to do it and had been neglecting the housework for several weeks. She knew this. She delighted in showing me how dirty all her cleaning cloths were after she cleaned...I never had her back. I knew it needed a good clean, that's why I hired her in the first place! Rude, rude, rude

godmum56 · 09/12/2020 17:48

I would NOT employ a cleaner who posted pics of my house on facebook full stop

FelicisNox · 09/12/2020 18:10

YANBU.

It's unprofessional and she's crossed a line.

Hope you have a positive outcome.

MadameBoulaye · 09/12/2020 18:26

If she knows that you are suffering from a condition causing your hair loss, then she is being insensitive and downright unprofessional. Even if you are anonymous in the FB post, this is not kind nor appropriate. Aside from this, i would love a cleaner but am too private a person (even with nothing to hide!) and the thought of my home being photographed for someone else’s FB page would irk me. So YANBU.

DagenhamRoundhouse · 09/12/2020 18:32

Could also be a security risk if she's posting pix of her clients' house interiors. Burglars love to see details like that.

TeaStory · 09/12/2020 18:35

It also struck me that OP said other photos on the cleaner’s FB was of clean things, not dirty things.

THEDEACON · 09/12/2020 18:35

She would no longer be my cleaner

Macieb · 09/12/2020 18:43

Does she have your permission to post pictures of your home/items from your home etc on social media? If not she should not be posting pictures of anything from, or anywhere in your home.

mumofmany81 · 09/12/2020 18:44

I’ve not read all the replies because I’m just snatching five minutes before getting the kids to bed but I wanted to just reply to you anyway. I think that she is bang out of order doing this - you simply don’t put photos of someone’s house up on Facebook without asking. Aside from the fact that what she did was upsetting, it is also extremely unprofessional. I’m sorry that you’ve been upset by this when it’s already horrible losing your hair. Mine has been falling out badly (as in by the handful) since I had Covid in March. I thought for months it was a side effect of that but it turns out it was actually severe anaemia. I know how upsetting it has been for me to lose my hair and I imagine that you’re the same so to then be made to feel bad is really crappy :-(

EugenesAxe · 09/12/2020 19:01

YANBU but I think there's an element of misunderstanding and her not knowing this very personal thing about you.

Like others I would say you were very upset by her photo for personal reasons, and ask her to take it down and double check all pictures with you from now on.

I wouldn't sack her unless her response is off.

godmum56 · 09/12/2020 19:15

I would have spoken to her the minute I saw facebook pics of her clients houses, making clear that she could NOT take pictures in my house. It makes it worse that she did the drain thingm but clean or dirty my home is my home and private!

retired60 · 09/12/2020 19:23

I’m sorry you are not 100% well.

URNBU
This is exactly the time when you need a hardworking loyal cleaner. You should not be cleaning before the cleaner arrives.

I’ve had many cleaners during my working life. Most have been hard working lasting 5+ years. Our last cleaner retired and was with us 8 years.
I needed a new cleaner so, I answered a request on a local site from someone who wanted cleaning work. She came and worked well although she looked at my gas range cooker and told me that I’d need to get someone in to clean it. (remember she was a cleaner) She told me I had too much stuff and I should give some to the charity shop. She later text me saying she wouldn’t be coming back. She charged £12 per hour
I’ve noticed cleaning firms want to know what you want cleaned charging £15 per hr. I just want someone who will think and clean and tidy.

I’d be furious if a cleaner put my home on a website. She’d be sacked!
URNBU
Hope you are on the mend soon.

Twinkled · 09/12/2020 19:50

It is okay to ask a cleaner to clean the hairs from shower . Totally not okay to post pics of your home. It is your home and it is an invasion of your privacy . I would TELL her to take down the photo immediately that she should ask first and no it has not okay. Then find a new cleaner. Bloody cheek

Twiddlet · 09/12/2020 20:08

I think it’s awful of her to film any part of your home without permission and post it on social media.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/12/2020 20:16

There’s a cleaning company that operate in my village who love a before and after photo. They seem to post about a dozen pairs per house. I don’t think they’re end of tenancy cleans so I’m always horrified that they’re showing poor conditions in someone’s home. I wouldn’t use them because of it.

caringcarer · 09/12/2020 20:19

My cleaner would not dream of doing this. I would sack her and someone more discrete.

Bacter · 09/12/2020 20:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Casschops · 09/12/2020 20:25

Id be proper pissed off if somebody took pictures of my house inside and put it on Facebook. What is the point she could feck right off.

DukeOfEarlGrey · 09/12/2020 20:25

YANBU to be upset and I’m sorry to hear about your condition. You’re also right that she shouldn’t be posting pictures of your home online.

However, I don’t think think she’s trying to send you any message - this is her marketing gimmiack and she just hasn’t thought about the people who actually own the ‘dirty’ homes.

PS My plughole is always grim 🤷‍♀️

ittakes2 · 09/12/2020 20:30

I would ask her to remove it and then sack her. Regardless of why and how - she has no right to take photos of your home and post them on social media.

jwpetal · 09/12/2020 20:33

sending you so much strength to you. This must be a very difficult time. I am losing hair at the moment and it has thrown me a bit. I am relatively calm, but my hair and loss there of is a sign of that stress.

It sounds like your cleaner does these videos to educate. Believe it or not, some people don't clean their drains. It doesn't sound like it is coming from a bad place.

Speak to your cleaner and just ask her to remove the video. You don't have to explain why, but you could. This might help her to understand that she is privy to your private life and that there are reasons.

If you can, take a few minutes to be angry, get the emotions out. Then have a conversation from strength.

winniestone37 · 09/12/2020 20:38

Yeah posting pictures of your house is not on- even if it is your drain!!!

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