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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner put photo on facebook

305 replies

PortToTheLeft · 08/12/2020 13:30

My cleaner has a facebook page where photos of cleans she has done are often posted - clean ovens, hoovered carpets, clear showerscreens etc. All fine.

She did my house today and I've just seen she put a thing on facebook of pulling a load of hair out of my shower drain with a comment to tell people to remember to clean their shower drains weekly.

I get this is grim but:
a) this is NOT a job I would expect her to have to do - it is definitely something I usually do.
b) I am under a lot of pressure just now and not 100% well. One symptom of this is that my hair is literally falling out. I have a shower and it comes out in clumps. I have bald patches all over my head. This is really really upsetting me. It does mean my shower drain needs cleared more often (every couple of days). I just happen not to have done it today.

I try to be as considerate as possible - I always tidy before she comes, I ensure the toilets are presentable etc.

The FB video doesn't identify me, but she must know I'll see it as our contact is always by FB messenger so I feel this is basically a way of telling me how grim I am. I am also already pretty emotional about the hair loss anyway.

So AIBU?
YABU: I am a disgusting person and should apologise to her.
YANBU: Not acceptable, if she had an issue she should not clean it, or say something to me.

I'm not sure what to do next either - regardless of whether I am unreasonable or not, I will not feel comfortable with her in my house feeling that any grimness of mine will end up on facebook.

OP posts:
macdhui · 08/12/2020 17:41

Also agree you need a new cleaner. Sorry Re your hair loss. It happened to me once and I know how confronting it is

Buzzthedragon · 08/12/2020 17:42

That’s horrible.
Sack her and tell her why.

sneakysnoopysniper · 08/12/2020 17:43

I was amused by your announcement that you "tidy up" before the cleaner comes when you pay her to clean your house. It reminds me of when I worked in a public facing environment and I took charge of a new branch. My staff were manically running around late evening "tidying up for the cleaners". I soon put a stop to that. Cleaners are paid to clean.

I would post a comment on her FB page stating how you feel about someone who betrays your privacy and confidence in this way. With luck it might be a little before she sees the comment. It will make her feel as belittled as you now feel by her actions.

TheTrashBagIsOursCmonTrashBag · 08/12/2020 17:43

YANBU I’m not surprised you’re upset by this.

vanillandhoney · 08/12/2020 17:46

Fwiw OP (and any others) if your cleaner is regularly drumming up business on fb or wherever it means they aren’t retaining regular clients.

I really don't think this is always true at all.

I'm a dog walker. My books are pretty much full but I still post on Facebook daily. It's not about "drumming up business", it's about keeping my name out there and relevant, so that if people ask for a dog walker, my name comes to mind.

Clients come and go for a whole variety reasons - if your names is "out there" as a good company, people will think of you and use you.

VinylDetective · 08/12/2020 17:50

Cleaners are paid to clean

Yes, they are. Not tidy up. It’s impossible to clean an untidy house so if you don’t tidy first you’re paying them to tidy first. Which isn’t their job.

GabriellaMontez · 08/12/2020 17:50

Insensitive at best. Or just a cow. Totally unprofessional. I wouldn't have her back.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/12/2020 17:50

I can't use your votng criteria s it presumes she had a problme that needs addressing.

She is a cleaner, she cleaned your plughole. She's a good cleaner.

I use quite few pictures of the houses I go into. All anonymous. Never a comment about the inhabitants, always about the house istelf, a light fitting, black spot mould etc etc

But I absolutely see that your personal issue is making this seem so very, very unpleasant. Assuming she doensn't kow about that just ask her to take the picture down, You do NOT give permission for he to use your home for her SM.

VinylDetective · 08/12/2020 17:52

I would post a comment on her FB page stating how you feel about someone who betrays your privacy and confidence in this way

Thereby outing herself. Unlike the cleaner. Good thinking.

Smallsteps88 · 08/12/2020 17:52

I'm a dog walker. My books are pretty much full but I still post on Facebook daily. It's not about "drumming up business",

My post specifically said “drumming up business”. I wasn’t talking about daily posts keeping your name out there.

cabbageking · 08/12/2020 17:56

It was taken in a private dwelling without your permission. Ask her to remove it if it bothers you.

vanillandhoney · 08/12/2020 17:59

@Smallsteps88

I'm a dog walker. My books are pretty much full but I still post on Facebook daily. It's not about "drumming up business",

My post specifically said “drumming up business”. I wasn’t talking about daily posts keeping your name out there.

Sorry, but I'm afraid I don't see the difference.

I post on local groups fairly regularly with photos of what the dogs have been upto and what services I offer. Is that drumming up business or keeping your name out there?

I would argue that it might be both, but posting regularly doesn't necessarily mean you need the business - it's always worth keeping your social media active and relevant, regardless of whether your books are full or not.

ShagMeRiggins · 08/12/2020 18:01

No one has mentioned GDPR?

It’s a breach unless you’ve been asked about your data—which includes images—and have given explicit consent (a form, usually) to have your details or images shared.

It’s possible I err on the conservative side with my company, but I do not dare to share anything at all without a signed agreement. Because even though GDPR is an arseache, is it there for a reason.

Tell her to take it down and tell her about GDPR.

If she is self-employed, she should know. If she is with a company, they should know.

It doesn’t matter if it’s identifiable or not. She has no legal right to this.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 08/12/2020 18:03

I was amused by your announcement that you "tidy up" before the cleaner comes when you pay her to clean your house. It reminds me of when I worked in a public facing environment and I took charge of a new branch. My staff were manically running around late evening "tidying up for the cleaners". I soon put a stop to that. Cleaners are paid to clean.

@sneakysnoopysniper, you're right that cleaners are paid to clean but they can't do that if the areas they have to clean are covered in bits and bobs. If they were vacuuming the lounge, for example, they'd need to get to the carpet, or is it OK for cleaners to just do the visible bits in between all the clutter?

Smallsteps88 · 08/12/2020 18:06

Vanilla I haven’t the energy to get into semantics. I was talking about cleaners who are always needing to drum up business. It’s something to keep an eye on. I didn’t say anyone needs shot Hmm

Passmeabottlemrjones · 08/12/2020 18:07

I would be really upset at this and probably get rid of her to be honest. How dare she use your home to make a post like that without your permission?!

At the very least I would send her a message to tell her how upset you were that she posted it, and asking her to ensure she doesn't do it again without permission.

Mortgageandmoney · 08/12/2020 18:10

YANBU.

I had this once. We moved into a new house and the oven was such a mess. I tried by best with the oven pride but it wasn't working well so decided to hire someone to give it a professional clean. They did a great job but posted photos and embarrasing comments about the before. It wasn't even my mess! But that's not the point, it was embarrasing and a lot of my kitchen was in shot with very identifiable personal items.

HelloDulling · 08/12/2020 18:10

To her, this is no different so post a before and after of getting a tea ring-mark off a worktop, or bleaching grout that’s gone that funny orange colour. To you, it’s a reminder of your hair loss, which is completely understandable, but it is an overreaction to something that it really not personal.

And I’d be astonished if anyone who know you could identify you from your bath plug hole.

WorraLiberty · 08/12/2020 18:12

@ShagMeRiggins

No one has mentioned GDPR?

It’s a breach unless you’ve been asked about your data—which includes images—and have given explicit consent (a form, usually) to have your details or images shared.

It’s possible I err on the conservative side with my company, but I do not dare to share anything at all without a signed agreement. Because even though GDPR is an arseache, is it there for a reason.

Tell her to take it down and tell her about GDPR.

If she is self-employed, she should know. If she is with a company, they should know.

It doesn’t matter if it’s identifiable or not. She has no legal right to this.

Give over, it's a shower drain hole 🤣🤣🤣
Passmeabottlemrjones · 08/12/2020 18:12

And I don't know why cleaners do this - it would totally put me off choosing them as a potential cleaner if I thought they were being judgemental about any aspect of my home, especially if them posting about it on social media was a possibility.

It's a bit like hairdressers on social media - I have seen a few who are always going on about clients who don't look after their hair, have 'messed up' their own hair, they will post those 'annoying things clients say' videos - it's totally off putting for potential customers, why do they do it?!

Yohoheaveho · 08/12/2020 18:14

bang out of order
has she not heard of client confidentiality!!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/12/2020 18:14

@sneakysnoopysniper

I was amused by your announcement that you "tidy up" before the cleaner comes when you pay her to clean your house. It reminds me of when I worked in a public facing environment and I took charge of a new branch. My staff were manically running around late evening "tidying up for the cleaners". I soon put a stop to that. Cleaners are paid to clean.

I would post a comment on her FB page stating how you feel about someone who betrays your privacy and confidence in this way. With luck it might be a little before she sees the comment. It will make her feel as belittled as you now feel by her actions.

I try to tidy before the cleaners come, @sneakysnoopysniper - I think they can get more done if they aren’t having to deal with clutter on the surfaces. As previous posters have said - they’re paid to clean, not tidy.
ShagMeRiggins · 08/12/2020 18:17

And I’d be astonished if anyone who know you could identify you from your bath plug hole.

Agreed, but beside the point. The IP’s privacy has been breeched she did not consent to images of her home being used on social media, nor for business promotion, nor whatever.

We live in age where everyone photographs everyone, everything, and shares. That doesn’t make it right.

I won’t go down the path of whether it’s okay for private citizens to photo/video and upload events—that’s a long , different conversation—but the cleaner is collecting the visuals (data) in the capacity of her profession. She’s bound by law.

Doublebubblebubble · 08/12/2020 18:21

Time to start looking for a new cleaner. Sorry youre unwell OP Flowers

ShagMeRiggins · 08/12/2020 18:24

Give over, it's a shower drain hole

Nah, Worral. I understand your (mocking—cheers for that) point, but it isn’t just a shower drain hole.

It is the OP’s home—recognisable or not isn’t the point—and it has been photographed and posted to the world social media.

If this had occurred in a public place (people who park like shite), it might be different. If the person taking the photograph had not been hired by the OP for a service (arsehole nephew, for example, mocking his aunt), it might be different.

The OP’s privacy has been violated by someone whose service she hires. And there are laws about that.