That in the pandemic hasn’t all been bad

[Shiraznowplease]

I am wondering if AIBU in feeling the pandemic has not all been bad. I am aware I may get flamed and yes it has been horrendously bad in people dying, difficulties nor seeing loved ones and problems for business. But I feel for me , and talking to friends, others too it has made me/us grateful for my family and friends. It has shown me what is truly important, stopped the endless round of business trips for dh and after school/weekend activities for the children and instead we have spent quality time together playing games, cooking and enjoying one and another’s company. My Dc have seen dh more this year more than the rest of their lives combined.

I am a health professional so have worked all through the pandemic but have been grateful to have PPE, even if initially I had to source and fund it myself although the stress has been incredible, I feel I have made a real difference to my patients.

I am lucky that dh could work from home in a relatively secure job.

I have missed my parents and meeting with friends dreadfully though am thankful for zoom, FaceTime and other things so we could keep in touch.

It has also brought out, in my experience, community spirit and helping each other out.

Wow with the you are being unreasonable you are just voicing your opinion ffs

@fallfallfall

I love a good MN race to the bottom thread. My dh and I have maintained or improved our physical health. Saved some money (which we’ve promptly lavished on family for Christmas). Thanks to SM, stayed in touch with family. At this point I only know of two people who got sick (SIL’s 80+ yr old mother in Spain, survived unaware she had it), friend who travelled to Egypt and came home ill back in March (untested). Mentally life is quieter, I’ve taken up a crafting hobby. Two family members are however having work challenges that need a positive outcome.

I find this a bit harsh with the race to the bottom comment.

There’s no doubt some have, and are, really suffering even if all are not.

I haven't seen my brother since December.
I've seen my other family twice.
My friends 3 times
Partner furloughed for 2 months but since returned f. T.... To a job he detests.
I wfh in a job I detest. L. A budget cuts, resource cuts. Yet still I witness money being haemorrhaged as service leaders are scared of the shouters. Stress is almost at the level where I take long term sickness. It costs me to wfh. It was nil cost to attend the office.
Secondary age child's education was fucked. She's also announced that she's transgender.
One week away in a lovely cottage... Pissed down 6 out of 7 days.
Sick of masks and queuing
Sick of self appointed covid Stasi.
Then the prospect of forced vaccination
Then returning to work... Where the fuck I do not know, as the dicks in power decided we're moving again. Despite never working in the office we moved to in March 2020.
It's crap. You're good if not affected

Nope, both my DCs' (Gcse years, both) education is being fucked over. One has had eight weeks of self isolation and Covid, caught at school, the other four weeks SI so one has had more time out of school than in since Sept. It's impacting their confidence and mental health.

A child is sent home almost every week, which means SI, which means I can't see my mother or family anymore.

I don't remember what it's like to have both children at school for more than a week anymore.

My cat died in a horrific, brutal way and we couldn't go inside the vets due to Covid. My son stood outside in the vets in the street with her.

My boiler's broken and a freak issue with installation means it may not get fixed before a child is sent home to SI again, so we've had no hot water or heating for days. Now I'm worried we will be without this indefinitely due to constant isolations. There is a case daily in both DCs' years at school.

Work is relentless for both of us, no real breaks since March.

It's shit, it really is and I have no idea what DCs' future education will be. The situation at their schools is dire.

I kind of feel we all need to take 2021 off.

:)

My sister went to the drs yesterday and her ecg was a mess. She was sent to the hospital but they had no beds so, because the cardiologist described her as a “walking time omb” he re-referred her to another hospital (regional heart/lung centre) where she sat on a chair in A&E for 18+ hours.

AT 2pm today, she was seen by another cardiologist who said he’d spent the morning clearing his wards for COVID19 capacity so was sending her home in hope that a bed become available... eventually. Of course, in the meantime, she COULD have a heart attack or stroke.

No, OP. I disagree with your viewpoint.

Well no, an immediate family member died from Covid in March and due to another ECV family member our whole family has been shielding as per consultants advice until a vaccine hopefully in January.
No amount of “Blitz spirit “ can compensate for that.

Think some people need to re read, I didn’t not say it was all fine and fucking dandy. I have had two weeks off since March, I work much longer hours however there have been positives and I am sick to dead of everyone being so bloody negative all the time.

I am not negating people dying, I have been there. I have been incredibly busy treating patients, I haven’t seen my parents bar zoom etc for months however think that trying to see positives is not a bad thing.

The vaccine is out and am due to have later this week ... although some people on here will probably have issues with that too. 🙄 The end is in sight for us all.

Ps I have had COVID

There are other longer term benefits. Covid has forced companies to accept that people CAN work from home. Now that is established, more workers will continue to do so

Reducing stress
Reducing pollution & emissions
Reducing accidents
Reducing congestion
Improving work life balance for many
Reducing the need for office buildings, freeing up space for housing.
Reducing costs for companies and public sector

Hopefully it will improve many people's lives in the future.

No YABU - piss off - it's been completely dire. And I am well and truly sick of it and trying to feel 'grateful'. I'm a nurse too.

Yeah yeah yeah - frickin tediousl

The only positive for me has been getting to spend so much time with my DD.

My exH ruined my mat leave and this felt like I got it later.

I've worked right through from home but it's been so nice spending that extra time with her.

I got sick in March with Covid and was desperately ill for 4 months. And still trying to get over it. I dont even know what this year was to be honest. Its just gone.

I may be projecting but to me there was a slightly antifeminist tone in it. A lot of it was about emphasising the value of the home and the role of the mother in the home etc. And when you're a woman who isn't able to step out of the workforce it feels like a bit of a slap in the face.

Completely agree. There has been a systemic devaluing of the work (both paid and unpaid) done by women, especially those with caring responsibilities.

• From the government/schools/general public, "those neglectful parents (read, mostly "mothers") can look after their own kids for a change rather than sticking them in school/childcare". Also, generally making life tougher for working parents by refusing to release children to non-parent carers.
• From husbands/partners, "my job is more important than yours because I earn more/am full-time/didn't take 9 months off for maternity leave/am on track for promotion, so you'll just have to deal with the kids, dear, piss off all your colleagues and employer and take the career hit". See gender inequality being reinforced in spades.
• From employers, "we understand and we'll be flexible. We have no problem if you log on at 7pm and work until 3am in the morning, just so long as you log your 8 hours". Meanwhile, guess who's top of the list for redundancies and off the promotion track?

The message this year has very much been that it is unacceptable for families not to have a SAHP able to drop everything at a moment's notice. And that women's careers are expendable when the shit hits the fan. I don't see this as anything to celebrate.

YANBU. 2020 has been a great year for us; several months off work paid (knowing our job was secure when we went back) to read, watch tv and movies, play games, just hang out.

I’d say the only negatives for us really is not being able to go away as much, but all in all it’s been a fab year, and it isn’t poor taste to say that because everyone’s experiences are different.

Yanbu- your experience is that this year has had some positives and there is nothing wrong with that. Just because others have not had a similar experience does not make yours less valid.

@emilyfrost

YANBU. 2020 has been a great year for us; several months off work paid (knowing our job was secure when we went back) to read, watch tv and movies, play games, just hang out.

I’d say the only negatives for us really is not being able to go away as much, but all in all it’s been a fab year, and it isn’t poor taste to say that because everyone’s experiences are different.

Is it really not poor taste? When so many are paying for this luxury in other ways.

I have always known what is important to me. I have always known that my family and friends mean more to me than anything. I didn't need a pandemic to teach me that.

I have been luckier than lots of people. I too, work in health care and have no worries about loss of income. I have also not lost anyone to covid, or know anyone who has had it.

I can't think of much good that has came from it though. It hasn't taught me any big life lessons, but it has restricted me doing what is important to me in many ways. Lockdown 2 was OK, lockdown 1 was horrible. The fact that I see my colleagues and service users is what has made it easier for me; a sense of normality and social interaction.

I think it is great if people have found some aspects positive for them. We all have different experiences and all are valid. As someone else said, I have enjoyed things despite the pandemic, but certainly not because of it.

Is it really not poor taste? When so many are paying for this luxury in other ways.

MarshaBradyo Of course it isn’t. I’m not responsible for anyone else’s time during the pandemic, nor am I responsible for the pandemic.

You could easily say the same about it being in poor taste to enjoy good food because some people are starving across the world, or how it’s poor taste to enjoy going abroad because other people can’t afford it.

There’s no reason I should be quiet about how great a year it’s been for us; we all have our own experiences and we’re all entitled to share them.

Not on her@emilyfrost

@Mintjulia

There are other longer term benefits. Covid has forced companies to accept that people CAN work from home. Now that is established, more workers will continue to do so

Reducing stress
Reducing pollution & emissions
Reducing accidents
Reducing congestion
Improving work life balance for many
Reducing the need for office buildings, freeing up space for housing.
Reducing costs for companies and public sector

Hopefully it will improve many people's lives in the future.

Well let's hope they sort out the crap customer service that customers are having to suffer "due to covid", i.e. waiting for hours on hold to speak to an advisor, deliveries/returns taking 2 or 3 times as long as usual, banks barely open due to staff shortages, shops having barely any stock, etc.

You can but equally others can recoil Emily

Tax payers for generations will be paying for this. Or losing their homes as sectors shut to keep numbers down.

At least if you got lucky rather than unlucky acknowledge others have made that possible. Or maybe not as you seem convinced.

@emilyfrost

“ There’s no reason I should be quiet about how great a year it’s been for us”

Bloody hell.

I never thought I’d spend so much of my adult life explaining to other adults why they should care about others.

I care about others, but that goes two ways. I don’t need to hide my own experiences to prove I care.

I don't think the NHS is fucked because of COVID.....i work in a hospital and it is coping so far. It IS fucked because of the tories though.