That in the pandemic hasn’t all been bad

[Shiraznowplease]

I am wondering if AIBU in feeling the pandemic has not all been bad. I am aware I may get flamed and yes it has been horrendously bad in people dying, difficulties nor seeing loved ones and problems for business. But I feel for me , and talking to friends, others too it has made me/us grateful for my family and friends. It has shown me what is truly important, stopped the endless round of business trips for dh and after school/weekend activities for the children and instead we have spent quality time together playing games, cooking and enjoying one and another’s company. My Dc have seen dh more this year more than the rest of their lives combined.

I am a health professional so have worked all through the pandemic but have been grateful to have PPE, even if initially I had to source and fund it myself although the stress has been incredible, I feel I have made a real difference to my patients.

I am lucky that dh could work from home in a relatively secure job.

I have missed my parents and meeting with friends dreadfully though am thankful for zoom, FaceTime and other things so we could keep in touch.

It has also brought out, in my experience, community spirit and helping each other out.

No , sorry it’s been awful for me.

3 DC , including a toddler , trying to homeschool and keep small kids entertained is massively different than if you had older aged kids who are pretty self sufficient.

Now they are all back at school it’s slightly better but still awful not being allowed to have any family visits / support / childcare relief.

DP is a key worker who has only had 3 weeks holiday since March and these were during degrees of lockdown so not actual holidays.
We see him on his days off.
It’s been a tough time since March and the winter ahead until March is looking tough too.

Everyone I know feels the same.
Nobody has felt it was better.

I think there's a difference in saying for some people there has been some positive aspects and saying overall life is better. I think for the millions of people who's lives have been devasted by loss of a loved one or their livelihood or have longterm symptoms, they'd beg to differ with your really rather offensive post. I haven't been terribly negatively affected thus far but that doesn't mean I think the pandemic was actually 'not too bad' 🙄

It's had a huge impact, but mercifully we're OK domestically.

The silver lining I appreciate is the lack of aeroplane noise over London. I know it means parlous times for sector workers, but the better sleep is so much appreciated. I liked it when road traffic was lower as well, but that's all back now.

No, it has been crap. Unable to see family and friends, unable to travel, financially struggling. We have not suffered illness or bereavement ourselves, thank goodness.

It actually really annoys me when people say “it has shown me what is really important”. It sounds smug.

I have to say that I’m a bit confused by anyone who can look at hundreds of thousands of deaths and enormous misery across the world and go, “well, it’s been lovely for me.” Does the happiness or otherwise of other people literally not affect you at all?

Oh and as for community spirit, how about the shaming if the non NHS clappers, the curtain twitching reporting of rule breakers, the abuse and fear given out to anyone not 'doing it right' with regard to masks or SD or who went the wrong way round the supermarket or who let their toddler within 2m of a person on an outdoor narrow footpath? How many threads on here about 'shall I report x for....'

People have died, lost loved ones, incomes and livelihoods shattered (hands up over here), been isolated and alone. I’ve seen six friends since March. Six people in 9 months.

It’s been beyond shit.

Meh. The pandemic is not the worst thing I've personally ever had to deal with. But neither has it shown me what is truly important - I already knew that. We all know family is more important than work but we also need to pay bills.

If we had a decent government it would all have been a lot less shit.

I always look for the positive and this year I haven’t had to organise a nativity with the preschoolers I work with
I’ve really enjoyed that!

I think you are viewing the pandemic from your "healthcare professional" unlikely to ever be made redundant ivory tower personally

Well that’s nice for you OP but what do you expect people to say? People gave list jobs, loved ones, the economy is fucked, etc.

I haven’t seen my aged parented since February and home based working has been lonely and difficult.

So yes it’s been a bit shit

*have lost jobs

Like many things it is not a simple good or bad.

Like you it has had a positive impact on our finances - dh lost his job, but I was promoted and we are spending a lot less on things we don't really need and commuting costs.

We are scratching the walls and have not seen elderly parents on either side since March.

I also see the damage it has done to small businesses and people working in retail. I can't imagine what the wider economy / tax regime is going to be like in years to come as we pay for all the untendered contracts handed out to toadies. Our children will be paying for that through higher taxes and reduced services.

On balance I (and many others who have "gained" could have made the choice to wfh and reduce mindless spending without COVID. So frankly it sucks.

Whilst the pandemic has not been bad for you for millions of people worldwide it's been horrendous. One person I know has lost six family members to covid. Businesses have folded, jobs lost and families at risk of eviction and that's just in my circle of friends.

I acknowledge it has been awful for many- job worries, health worries and missing friends and family. But I think, if you can look for any 'bright sides' , that is a helpful strategy for keeping going. It's a bit like keeping a gratitude list, so that you consider the more positive things in life and don't just get overpowered by the shit.
For me, it has been relentlessly boring and lonely. I've been in a very restricted region and am a widow with 2 teenage boys who aren't particularly good company and one of whom is self harming. My extreme worry is that my DSs could be orphaned.
However, i'm grateful my income has remained stable and none of my friends, immediate or wider family have been ill. I'm scraping the barrel for actual positives though.... I've read a lot more than usual. I've been more involved in my DSs schoolwork... I've done yoga virtually every day since March... I try to find positives but it's very difficult.

This has been an absolutely horrendous year with the number of people I know who have died, and others who are living with long Covid and utterly depressed. A large number of my loved ones have also been diagnosed with life-limiting/terminal illnesses just for good measure. Many people I know have lost their jobs and are on their knees financially.

I am willing to concede that there have been some positive aspects to the year, but given it's been the worst year of my life and I know I'm by no means alone in thinking that, it really hurts that someone would describe 2020 as not all bad. It utterly minimises the pain and despair that many of us have felt.

You work in healthcare - have a bit more empathy, eh? Be grateful for the good things that have happened to you, but be a bit more kind in the way you express it. With your job, there's absolutely no way you haven't come across at least a few people whose lives have been ruined by the pandemic. Don't minimise that.

Don't be so smug. The community spirit of which you speak has turned against itself with people reporting and abusing any tiny infractions. Mental health is in crisis. People are literally starving and having to use food banks to feed their kids. Education will not recover for years. Some children never returned to education in September, god knows how life will pan out for them. Life chances for a decade have been impacted. Civil liberties have been casually torn up with minimal consultation or oversight.

But yknow. You be happy with your secure income and stable loving relationship.

I don’t find the OPs post offensive at all. We lost Fil early on in March and I’ve got few if any job prospects, but I would rather count my blessings and look forward to better days than complain.

I think there's a difference in saying for some people there has been some positive aspects and saying overall life is better

Pretty sure that's exactly what OP is saying. It hasn't been all bad for everyone.

I agree OP. I'm a lone parent and life is hectic. Lockdown was a chance to step off the wheel and slowdown. I loved having so much quality time with my ds. It's also the longest I've had off work in 30 years (was furlouged for 3 months). I've never slept so good in my life. There have been a lot of positives and you're right about the community spirit. Of course there's been a lot of suffering too. I know many people who've lost businesses and jobs, don't personally know anyone who suffered a loss but appreciate many have. The pandemic has affected everyone differently and its OK to say its been a positive experience for you personally.

I’m someone who finds positives too but I’ve always been like that so I’ve always appreciated ‘family time’ and we were always going out to woods and baking and all that stuff that people seem to hail as the positives. I’m glad they’ve discovered simple pleasures.
But I really miss going to stay with my mum and going out with friends. Family members have lost their jobs and it’s rubbish for them (they still know to go for walks, play board games and bake though)
Friends have lost loved ones too and it’s very sad. My mum has lost a couple of dear friends.
I’m glad for you op but it’s been rubbish for a lot of people.

Yabu

I see no positives

And my ds has been isolating for almost two weeks and has to isolate again until the end of term as dh has coronavirus. It’s all a bit rubbish.

I think YABU in the terms that it seems a bit hollow and "in alright jack" when so many other people are suffering alongside the widening inequality gap

Over 60.000 thousand people have died!!!!

In what way has it not been so bad?

Seriously.