Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
CuntyMcBollocks · 07/12/2020 10:05

My 5yr old knows that sending a message like that is extremely rude! I wouldn't buy him anything again.

Whatafool123 · 07/12/2020 10:05

I think there is a good chance his parents have no idea he wrote that and they do need to know. I will now remind DD (11) to write a thank you and it comes back to me sealed for posting. I trust her so don't tend to check (I will now I think!). If they are like me though, they will be blissfully unaware of his rudeness and they need to have a conversation with him. Even if he was offended about the age thing, there is no excuse for that level of rudeness. If you don' say anything, it will sour your relationship with him and his parents will probably pick up on that but not understand why.

GU24Mum · 07/12/2020 10:05

My DC is the same age and had a birthday in the last few weeks. There is NO WAY I'd have let her send that sort of letter regardless of what she received.

If the mother wanted to suggest different ideas for another time, there are far, far better ways of doing that. "Hi X, thanks for remembering Z's birthday and for sending the lovely jacket to him. Unfortunately the jacket is a bit big - don't suppose you've got a gift receipt please so that I can change it for him?".

ArtemisBean · 07/12/2020 10:06

Absolutely disgraceful. Definitely get the goat for Christmas.

Ferrari458 · 07/12/2020 10:06

"He's a child" He's 10 years old and he knows better. As for people saying you should educate him, he has parents at home to do that. A mother who knows he sent this rude note. Apart from that, you don't even see them, you're trying to stay in touch but wasting your time. I'd give up to be honest. Definitely no more presents, cards leave the door open for there to be a relationship if any of the family want that to happen.

LittleMissLockdown · 07/12/2020 10:07

He is a child. This is a learning opportunity surely? And you are a godparent so the perfect person to have a very reasonable conversation with him, with mum's permission I suppose

It's not the OPs job to teach him manners just because she is his godparent. His mother and father have already failed to do so in the past 10 years and his mother felt it was perfectly acceptable to send this note. Do people honestly believe the OP is going to be able to suddenly impart wisdom in him if his own parents think such rudeness is acceptable?

5zeds · 07/12/2020 10:07

I’d reply that you’re sorry they didn’t like the present, and that you’ve found there response to the situation surprising and feel a bit insulted and hurt. Tell them you wish them both well but having thought about it rather than support the behaviour you will just send a card from now on.

Honesty and consequences are usually the very best way. Don’t fret about it or make it bigger than it needs to be. You have different manners, the key is to find a way of navigating that.

Whatafool123 · 07/12/2020 10:07

Sorry, didn't RTFT before I posted.

Cam77 · 07/12/2020 10:07

Interesting that he was (or his mum) polite enough to write a thank you card but not sufficiently well educated to realize you shouldn’t scrawl abuse in it. Or his mum to apologize properly for his rudeness.
Bizarre!

Feetupteashot · 07/12/2020 10:08

Speak on the telephone and all will be well

DreadingSeason2020sFinale · 07/12/2020 10:09

You know the ONLY reason you got a card this time unlike every other time you have gifted him anything (just birthdays and Christmases alone over 10 years is not a small amount) was to specifically let you know he didn't like your gift.

Doubly rude from both him and especially his mum. No 10 year old is going out to buy thank you cards. She knew the what and why of it.

AfterSchoolWorry · 07/12/2020 10:10

Kids are little shits these days. After age 7 I just give cash, that's all they want anyway.

Rude little git.

PatriciaPerch · 07/12/2020 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cailleachian · 07/12/2020 10:11

One scenario I could see is that he's been fishing for a new winter jacket, mum has promised him one and he's got one in mind....and then your jacket turns up, so the need is gone.

I remember something very very like that from my childhood (I was a bit younger tho) and absolutely loathing it and resenting the gift because it reminded me daily of what I had missed out on. I tried as hard as I could to destroy it without it being obvious.

As an adult I can see I was being a brat about it, it was an expensive and kind gift, but as a child it felt like the universe had conspired against me.

Maybe I am just projecting my own childhood coat trauma tho.

Original poster
Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 10:13

Texted his DM. Told her the receipt will be posted today on school run. I also said I was upset about the card I received and I was surprised she knew about it.

OP posts:
BeKindItCostsNothing · 07/12/2020 10:13

I know someone who always gave his godson books for his birthday. Nice books - Philip Pullman etc.

The godson wasn't interested in reading.

Godson's mum suggested that gift vouchers might be better, more than once.

But my friend kept buying books.

BloggersBlog · 07/12/2020 10:13

Yes, no gift for him again!! Wow was an obnoxious family Shock

JillofTrades · 07/12/2020 10:14

I don't get why you are being like such a mug.
Don't send the receipt, just get the coat back and don't send anything back??
Why would you encourage this behaviour by sending the receipt?

ilhahih · 07/12/2020 10:14

Very rude. His mother is rude too.
They could have handled that situation much better.
He wouldn't be getting any more presents from me.

Bettydot · 07/12/2020 10:15

I’m shocked by the Mum’s response! That’s so rude. What’s your relationship like with your godson? I wouldn’t hold it against him as with his mum’s attitude he’s obviously not been taught to be appreciative of gifts that aren’t his taste and he’s still at an age where some children would understand that his note was rude but others wouldn’t. I’m shocked that his mum read it and thought it was ok! Maybe you could call him and provide him with some guidance about how to approach these things in future and explain that a polite phone call saying thank you for the present but asking gently if it may be possible to exchange it as it doesn’t quite fit him would be ok. I’d always send a gift receipt for clothes so they can be changed if they don’t fit or aren’t their taste as I’d rather they were able to change it for something they would wear but that’s not the point here though it’s no surprise he thinks his note was ok given his Mum’s attitude.

ShizeItsWeegie · 07/12/2020 10:15

I would go and collect the present, take it back and get a refund and never bother their arses again. Bugger sending a Christmas card! Why you you wish people like that a Happy Christmas message? They're not worth the stamp!

Just because you were designated Godmother once doesn't mean you have to accept abuse. Don't be a mug.

BloggersBlog · 07/12/2020 10:15

@JillofTrades

I don't get why you are being like such a mug. Don't send the receipt, just get the coat back and don't send anything back?? Why would you encourage this behaviour by sending the receipt?
Good point actually - it is a win win for them
Arosadra · 07/12/2020 10:15

Yes, it’s rude. Very rude. But at ten years old it could very well be misjudged humour. A lot of books aimed at children of that age have humour like that, that they try to mimic and is hard to pitch right. I remember getting something like that very wrong in a school assignment at 11.

‘So, we’ve been asked to write about children’s rights! Well, the first right so want to see is the right not to be writing rubbish like this!!!!’

😱😱😱🙈🙈🙈😂😂😂

Obviously it didn’t go down well but I was a real goody two shoes child trying to pull off that down with the kids humour and failing miserably! I was embarrassed when I got a bollocking and didn’t do it again.

So yes, let his parents know but don’t assume he’s a brat.

FourTeaFallOut · 07/12/2020 10:16

@Highfivemum

Texted his DM. Told her the receipt will be posted today on school run. I also said I was upset about the card I received and I was surprised she knew about it.
I think that's honest and upfront. It'll be interesting to see what she says next.
Fieldofyellowflowers · 07/12/2020 10:16

10 is old enough to know better. Providing that his parents are bringing him up to be good mannered.

From a very young age (a lot younger than 10), my parents taught me to say thank you for any present I received, no matter whether I liked it or if it fit etc etc.

I'd phone his mum and tell her what the card said in a non confrontational way, as it is possible that she doesn't know what it says.