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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
Bumpsadaisie · 07/12/2020 09:44

Sorry - hadn't read the update!

Cheeky buggers!

LittleMissLockdown · 07/12/2020 09:44

@myneighboursarerude

If she is a normal person I doubt she checked what he wrote and he sealed the envelope thinking how funny he was. She’ll be horrified.
Except she knew exactly what it said and still thought it was an acceptable note, she's not horrified at all.
MrMeSeeks · 07/12/2020 09:44

Omg. That is disgusting. Even at that age i knew what manners were!
Say you know not to bother in the future, and do not.
Ungrateful child and ungrateful parents.
Do not waste your money they deserve nothing.

Original poster
Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 09:45

I Have not replied as yet. I have forwarded the message to my DH who was as shocked as me.

OP posts:
Bumpsadaisie · 07/12/2020 09:45

I would just send cards to keep the relationship alive. You're the godparent so the one to set an example.

FelicityPike · 07/12/2020 09:45

Wow cheeky swines the pair of them!
That would be the last!
Raging for you.

FourTeaFallOut · 07/12/2020 09:46

Huh, and there I was thinking it was a lifetime of moral obligation to watch over and support a child but it's just getting to the front of a crowd and looking important.

LittleMissLockdown · 07/12/2020 09:46

@Bumpsadaisie

I would just send cards to keep the relationship alive. You're the godparent so the one to set an example.
Why should the OP send anything. They clearly don't value her kindness. They should all get nothing.
Burnthurst187 · 07/12/2020 09:46

I have a nine year old niece and she would never even consider doing something so rude. I certainly wouldn't buy the child any future presents op

PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe · 07/12/2020 09:46

Unbelievable. It is rude. Maybe not 'disgustingly' or 'horribly' 🤢 but rude nonetheless. You don't have to explain the purchase of a coat sized for an eleven year old, when the recipient is ten. I think we're probably all familiar with the notion of 'growing into something', aren't we? And most things these days are sized for a compass of ages, anyway. The jacket might easily have said 10-12. The idea that a ten-year-old (the age of criminal responsibility, fwiw) might not grasp that, is a load of old bollocks. I pray mum didn't see the card, because if she's a party to it, she's ghastly, too.

billy1966 · 07/12/2020 09:47

Like mother like son.

You can't blame your godson when he is being dragged up like that.

You do better, when you know better.🙄

Chocsandcrisps · 07/12/2020 09:47

Age 11 in Next clothes are actually age 10-11 so you bought him the right size. That was very rude of him.

PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe · 07/12/2020 09:48

Sorry - just seen the update. So there you have it. She's awful as well and you can wash your hands of them.

TheQueef · 07/12/2020 09:49

You're still GP.
Time to instil a bit of charity to them all with an Oxfam gift of build a toilet.

Dobbyismyfavourite · 07/12/2020 09:49

Woah just seen your update. I can see where the son gets his rudeness from!

Dogscanteatonions · 07/12/2020 09:49

I think I'd be sending a card and a £5 WH Smith's voucher in future - a very low priced gift to make a point.

AcornAutumn · 07/12/2020 09:49

@DianeChambers

My god that is rude. But if he is a little immature for his age, he could have taken the wrong size as meaning you didnt know his age and he might have felt upset by that.

Id have done what you did. I have tall children and always size up.

This.

I’d speak to his parents but do have an actual conversation, don’t do it by text etc.

LaLaLandIsNoFun · 07/12/2020 09:50

Any chance he’s autistic? That’s the kind of thing my son would have thought to write - instructional, factual. He wasn’t diagnosed until he was 10.

In any case, you need to let his mum know so appropriate action can be taken.

WhatKatyDidNxt · 07/12/2020 09:51

He’s very rude and no are his parents -who lets a child talk like that. Especially to someone who get him a present. Oh well, l would take it back and spend the refund money on myself. No more presents for him ever again

sosotired1 · 07/12/2020 09:52

Very sad, but clearly the mother is the issue here. Even my children with SN know to thank politely and then tell me afterwards what they really feel... because I have taught them that and they understand that someone has made a kind and generous effort (and that if they aren't polite they might not get any more presents from that person in the future...). I gave gifts to nieces of my husbands for around 8 years without a thank you... and then gave up. It wasn't their fault, clearly their parents, but I really shouldn't have bothered. Give up!

dottiedaisee · 07/12/2020 09:52

So this child obviously has an extremely rude mother! I would ask them to donate the jacket to a named charity shop saying that hopefully the recipient will be far more appreciative. Definitely do not waste any more money or time on this horrible,ignorant family !

LaLaLandIsNoFun · 07/12/2020 09:52

Bloody hell - didn’t see the update.

I can see where it comes from

BrandyandDeath · 07/12/2020 09:52

Sounds like a misfired joke, or something a lovely little austistic girl I know would write without meaning to be rude in the slightest.

eggsandwich · 07/12/2020 09:53

I would say your go and collect the jacket and return it to Next, don’t mention exchanging it for anything else.

In future stop all presents if he’s going to be that ungrateful, and as for the mother, she needs a lesson in manners as well.

Spied · 07/12/2020 09:53

They sound a delightful duo.
I'd not be asking for the jacket to be returned. She'd probably charge you the delivery cost the cheeky git.
I'd tell her to keep it for next year's bonfire.
I'd obviously be sending no more gifts. Ever.
If she wants to then that's up to him but I'd play no part.