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Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
PerveenMistry · 08/12/2020 04:25

[quote tallduckandhandsome]@Ninetyseventhirtyfive

Take it up with them, don't take it out on the kid who clearly doesn't know any better!

OP is not saying anything to the kid and will send him a card! What does not taking it out on the kid involve? Keep sending him birthday and Christmas presents and take him out every month whilst his parents don't even acknowledge the birth of OP's babies?[/quote]
Exactly.

OP please keep us updated!

Bikingbear · 08/12/2020 09:11

@Changechangychange

Am assuming there is no drip fed ASD or similar as enough people have asked and you surely would have stated that in op as it's pretty pertinent to the story?

It's the mum as well though, unlikely the whole family has ASD. Whole family are grabby and rude is much more likely.

It's not that unlikely ASD does run in families however even people with ASD should have some manors by the time they are adults. It seems more these pair are grabby CF'ers. All take and no give. And actually the more I think about it the more I think the mother has put the boy up to it. There's a reason the marriage and friendships have all broken down.

Op do the mother / son ever actually attend church, my feeling is never.

I really would be so tempted to send a very religious card with a message about seeing them in church.

Thomasina79 · 08/12/2020 09:39

Ask for it back and return it and buy something nice for yourself.

That note is super rude!

bodgeitandscarper · 08/12/2020 10:12

I'd buy one last gift, a book on manners, and leave it at that.

ChasingRainbows19 · 08/12/2020 10:32

I would stop. You aren’t close to the family. The link isn’t even really there anymore considering you don’t see his dad. it’s all a bit of a nothing. I’m godmother to my best friends children. We are very close and see each other all the time, they would be mortified by that reaction from their 10 year old!

The mum sounds as bad and as unappreciative as the son, then suggesting sending you his Christmas list! I think it’s time for you to back off and leave them to it, concentrate on your own children and family.

coconutpie · 08/12/2020 10:40

Wow!!!! That is unbelievable cheeky fuckery.

This is what you need to do - text her to say to wrap up the coat and leave it on the porch and you'll return it. Perhaps even say you'll change it for something else. Do not send the receipt!!

Then, go pick up the coat, return it, get your money back and don't send a present ever again. What an ungrateful pair.

If she queries why you haven't sent a new present, say you reflected on it and decided that no present was appropriate since they were both so rude. They need to learn a lesson.

coconutpie · 08/12/2020 10:41

Oh and I wouldn't send a Christmas card either. And do not send a present ever again!

justilou1 · 08/12/2020 11:56

Don’t send a thing for Christmas - just leave them dangling and wait for the phonecall demanding an explanation... Then say “I’m not buying presents for rude arseholes anymore... OK!”

ddl1 · 08/12/2020 13:53

*Please do a gift for Africa and send him the little card with pig, schoolbooks for a child or whatever gift you choose.
Write
Dear godson,

I was trying to think what to get you and decided that you appreciate this gift of sharing with a child who has basically nothing. Have a lovely Christmas. Xx*

This sounds like an excellent idea! It might teach him to be a bit less selfish (he's obviously being taught the opposite at home), and even if it doesn't, the money will go to people who need it, not to someone who's just rude and greedy.

ddl1 · 08/12/2020 13:58

*Am assuming there is no drip fed ASD or similar as enough people have asked and you surely would have stated that in op as it's pretty pertinent to the story?

It's the mum as well though, unlikely the whole family has ASD.*

Also, the message is not just overly blunt in the way that might be produced by someone who lacked social awareness. It is deliberately aggressive ('OK!!!!!')

I had thought at first that maybe he was cross at being told to write a thank you letter at all, and deliberately wrote a rude letter out of defiance; but it seems that his mum actually permitted or even encouraged the rudeness.

NotBrigitteBardot · 08/12/2020 17:42

SiL has a good way of dealing with clothing presents she gives that are the wrong size - she offers to take it back and change it for the right size. It is never seen again - the right size never appears.

ninka68 · 08/12/2020 17:43

You could donate to a children's charity, on his behalf, at Christmas and let him know...say that the children always send such a nice "Thank you" card and then leave it like that. Either he/they will get the message or at least the charity will be pleased!

HandyGirl76 · 08/12/2020 17:43

I could totally see my just turned 11 son doing this. He'd think it was very funny. He writes his thank you cards on his own so now you've prompted me to check Confused

Her1mum · 08/12/2020 17:46

He’s a CF

tallduckandhandsome · 08/12/2020 17:47

I could totally see my just turned 11 son doing this. He'd think it was very funny. He writes his thank you cards on his own so now you've prompted me to check confused

I can't imagine a child who writes thank you cards unprompted would be so rude. Does he post them too?

tommyhoundmum · 08/12/2020 17:51

I always bought a size bigger for my ward. Also, I thank people separately as well as getting her to write a short note. She now telephones and thanks people herself instead. A text doesn't cut it.

Superpanicky · 08/12/2020 17:52

I’d be appalled if my child wrote that! I’d send a picture of the card to his mum and say “just looking for suggestions on what to get godson for Xmas as obviously he was very upset by my last present”

Gingercat86 · 08/12/2020 17:53

Oh my god! That would be the last year I brought something for him!

ERFGLA · 08/12/2020 17:54

Think you’ve answered your own question with DMs response.
That is wild.
Don’t waste your time ,effort or money on them anymore.
I’d donate to a children’s charity instead.
God knows what they’ve done with the previous years gifts !

Lucyk1 · 08/12/2020 17:56

Clothes in Next are actually much much bigger made. My 5 year old can easily fit into something for a 3 year old. If I buy him something for age 5, it would be massive on him.... So this jacket probably was huge on him. I'd say his mum is possibly anoid because you bought age 11...its almost to her like saying you don't remember what age he is and wasn't important enough to remember. As much as you have good intention, I think there could be abit of mixed messages which you should speak up and say to her

FlipFlapFlop123 · 08/12/2020 17:57

My sentiments exactly

ChaToilLeam · 08/12/2020 17:57

The apple clearly has not fallen far from the tree. I like the idea of the charity gift for Christmas. They’ll hate it but it will make a point and also benefit someone in need.

mapofeasterireland · 08/12/2020 17:59

The poor kid is ten. Learning this stuff if the point of being a child! Please don’t stop buying him presents because he was rude one. Speak to his mum openly and sort it out

mrsdaz · 08/12/2020 17:59

I would ask her to leave the jacket on the porch and you will collect it and take it back.

Don't say anything else - no offer to get an exchange or buy anything else.

From now on just send a card. Or send nothing.

exaltedwombat · 08/12/2020 17:59

Yes, unfortunately crass and direct! But let it go. Or send back a card saying 'Cheeky monkey! Some people might take that as an insult! You'll grow into it. Or it can be exchanged. What do you think would be best? Love....'

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