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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
Pet8 · 07/12/2020 21:13

@tallduckandhandsome I don't know. I'm a soft touch. I had a significant birthday a few weeks ago. It only dawned on me afterwards that I didn't even get a card from my DB and SIL nor from my BF. Realised BF ignored last significant birthday a decade ago too.
I made a big fuss of hers. I sat trying to plan what to buy and budget for this xmas and had a pure "f*ck it" moment. Nobody has ever bothered for me and my DC. I'm done.

Florawest · 07/12/2020 21:21

Hi ya,

Please do a gift for Africa and send him the little card with pig, schoolbooks for a child or whatever gift you choose.
Write
Dear godson,

I was trying to think what to get you and decided that you appreciate this gift of sharing with a child who has basically nothing. Have a lovely Christmas. Xx

ByebyeOcado · 07/12/2020 21:21

I’ll send you his Christmas list..... I find that so fucking rude. Unless I have asked specifically. Life isn’t about having what you want, more wanting what you have. My sister used to do this, she would check what the kids asked for, and issued everybody with instructions. It is so greedy and grabbing.

Staffy1 · 07/12/2020 21:23

Wow! I am shocked at the mother's knowledge of the rudeness note and her own, even more rude, messages. I don't think I would stay in touch with them, the rude feckers.

miserableannie · 07/12/2020 21:23

What a little shit. I wouldn't buy the twat a thing ever again and I'd be making why clear to his mother that sounds like she failed to teach her son manners

TheLoveOfMoney · 07/12/2020 21:27

Pet8 - good for you! It will be so cathartic. I've got a bit more selfish as I'm older, in a positive way. It feels like a weight has lifted.

OP, my son is 11 and says thank you very much for anything he receives. Then in private may say he isnt keen but that's just to me. He loves getting clothes! And I always ask for 1 size up to give him more wear. Your 'friends' behaviour is appalling and absolutely cut contact. You have 6 kids and still made the time to spend time choosing and giving a gift. She doesn't appreciate you so stuff her. Not nice for you but you haven't done anything wrong.

Ninetyseventhirtyfive · 07/12/2020 21:29

Some really harsh responses. You can't expect a 10 year old to act in the way you would expect an adult to behave. He needs to be taught how to respond well in these situations it's not automatic for most people. If he was an older teen I would expect more, but not necessarily at 10. I imagine it was just a very factual response and he probably wondered if you knew his age. Also it's possible he was just repeating back to you what he heard his parents say in response to the gift such as 'why did she buy him age 11 size?!' Just offer to replace it. Yes, his parents should have checked the note before it was sent, but he's still a kid , cut him a bit of slack. It would have been much ruder to say I don't like it or to not say thank you at all.

tallduckandhandsome · 07/12/2020 21:30

@Ninetyseventhirtyfive have you missed the bit where OP has 6 kids and has never received so much as a card for her kids, even when they were born? And yet this CF wants to send OP a list of things her DS wants?

SoupDragon · 07/12/2020 21:37

Yes, his parents should have checked the note before it was sent

His mother did.

ChonkyLamp · 07/12/2020 21:48

🌳
🍎

Ninetyseventhirtyfive · 07/12/2020 21:52

@soupdragon @tallduckandhandsome yes, didn't read all the OPs updates. But clearly it is not the kid's fault if his parents let him send the note and they treat the OP like that. Take it up with them, don't take it out on the kid who clearly doesn't know any better!

CommanderBurnham · 07/12/2020 21:56

Yes they're CFs. Your godson is obviously a product of his mother's behaviour.

However, do leave the door open, he obviously needs better examples and guidance. It's a shame really.

buckeejit · 07/12/2020 22:02

You need some mileage out of this. Text back - thanks. Here's some of what's on my dc list too....Wink

tallduckandhandsome · 07/12/2020 22:03

@Ninetyseventhirtyfive

Take it up with them, don't take it out on the kid who clearly doesn't know any better!

OP is not saying anything to the kid and will send him a card! What does not taking it out on the kid involve? Keep sending him birthday and Christmas presents and take him out every month whilst his parents don't even acknowledge the birth of OP's babies?

Scandicc · 07/12/2020 22:16

OP, please promise to come back to this thread after Christmas when you receive your “WHERE IS MY PRESENT” card and “did you forget my child’s present??” Text.

Just so we can remind you that you are the kind person, and they are both dicks.

Bikingbear · 07/12/2020 22:58

@buckeejit

You need some mileage out of this. Text back - thanks. Here's some of what's on my dc list too....Wink
Oh what an answer, especially with 6 kidsShock
ToniTheDonkey · 08/12/2020 02:15

@HollowTalk

You really would be a mug to give her the receipt.

Just say you can't find the receipt and that you'll pick up the jacket so you can take it to the shop to see if you can get a refund using your bank card.

Then never have anything to do with the grabby pair again.

Excellent idea
Hunnihun2 · 08/12/2020 02:45

@Sprig1

I would call his Mum. She might not know what he wrote. Very rude.
Yes this.
JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 08/12/2020 02:49

Agree. Take the jacket back, don't exchange and don't buy any more gifts. Rude family. Save your money op.

Hunnihun2 · 08/12/2020 02:49

@Highfivemum

Texted his DM. Told her the receipt will be posted today on school run. I also said I was upset about the card I received and I was surprised she knew about it.
I’m late to the thread. I haven’t read the other comments from others. Your being a mug!! I hope your DH has told you in The nicest way too.

Your not obligated to buy someone a gift no matter who they are OP.

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 08/12/2020 02:50

His mum knows and couldn't care less. RTT

Hunnihun2 · 08/12/2020 02:55

@JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth

His mum knows and couldn't care less. RTT
Sorry I did 4 mins after posting. Calm down
Changechangychange · 08/12/2020 02:59

Am assuming there is no drip fed ASD or similar as enough people have asked and you surely would have stated that in op as it's pretty pertinent to the story?

It's the mum as well though, unlikely the whole family has ASD. Whole family are grabby and rude is much more likely.

BedknobsNoBroomsticks · 08/12/2020 04:09

I would reply and tell her not to bother with the Christmas list because from now on you won't be buying him anything.

PerveenMistry · 08/12/2020 04:24

I'm happy you have decided to no longer be taken advantage of.

What ingrates and clods they are.

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