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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
mbosnz · 07/12/2020 17:48

I think you've gone above and beyond, and would be taking this as a cease and desist.

Rude entitled mother begets rude entitled son. What a shocker.

Pet8 · 07/12/2020 17:48

I'm genuinely gobsmacked at this CF mother and son. My dc have always been grateful for every present received. Yes, they've had wrong sizes, duplicate and age inappropriate gifts bought but would never insult the gifter.

It's taken me almost 30 years, and a pandemic that has financially exhausted me, to realise I'm a mug, OP. This is the first christmas that I am not buying nieces, nephews and friends kids. I don't give to receive but none of mine have had as much as a birthday card over the years. I'm done buying and skinting myself in the process.
It hurts more that they all have more disposable money than me but we don't even get a lousy text message to wish happy birthday/ other occasion in return.

anon666 · 07/12/2020 18:10

Oh wow, I completely retract my previous comments. DM is the problem.

I can't believe she was complicit with the
fuck you "thank you" note, that's outrageous.

Like other poster, I'd be asking for it back, and that would be the last time they got anything from me. Or any contact to be honest....

noirchatsdeux · 07/12/2020 19:02

Personally I'd sent a message saying "No need to send cheeky bastard child's Christmas list, after today's rudeness from you both I will no longer be sending presents"

If the friendship ends, so be it. You reap what you sow.

tallduckandhandsome · 07/12/2020 19:05

This is the first christmas that I am not buying nieces, nephews and friends kids. I don't give to receive but none of mine have had as much as a birthday card over the years. I'm done buying and skinting myself in the process.

Well done @Pet8 ! Why have you been doing it all that years?!

CallmeAngelina · 07/12/2020 19:06

How about saying that it's a shame (not that you are sorry) he didn't like the gift you sent and that upon reflection after her response, it's probably time to knock gifts on the head from now on. Wish them well for the future and bow out.

FraughtwithGin · 07/12/2020 19:09

I have 2 godchildren. I would never in a million years buy them clothes.
Yes, his response was rude, but your present was dreadful.
Why buy something for your godchild that is "throwaway" anyway after 6 months to a year?
Surely the presents you give are intended to be cherished?

CallmeAngelina · 07/12/2020 19:13

@FraughtwithGin, that is so far beside the point that it's not even visible.

It doesn't matter what the present was; both mother and child were appallingly rude.

And I am a godparent, and nowhere in the "what gifts to give your godchild" handbook Hmm does it specify any such thing. Perhaps you're thinking of the gifts one gives at the actual Christening?

Pumpertrumper · 07/12/2020 19:14

I would respond Op with a clear ‘I appreciate the offer but think it’s best we leave future gifts, wish you all well for the future’ and don’t even bother sending a Christmas card.

They sound like they’re unpleasant and don’t value you at all!

Meraas · 07/12/2020 19:17

Yes, his response was rude, but your present was dreadful.

Shock

Has the mum arrived? Wink

Mumofsend · 07/12/2020 19:17

Very rude. I have a child who tends to say what comes to her brain with zero filter so in person its hard to avoid (albeit pulling her up every single time) but I would make sure to check anything sent like that first!

Mumofsend · 07/12/2020 19:19

Clearly also reading the mums input the apple didn't fall far from the tree

CottonSock · 07/12/2020 19:21

Better off without them

My daughter was rude about a gift when she was 5 and I gave her a proper telling off. Won't happen again.

AllAboutHallowsEve · 07/12/2020 19:23

"Surely the presents you give are intended to be cherished?"

What on earth do you think she should be gifting him? Bone china tea cups?! Flippin eck...

DryRoastPeanut · 07/12/2020 19:27

I’d be telling his mum “I was a bit put out by godsons somewhat Curt ‘thank you’ note, to the point I will never buy for him again. I’m sure you understand, but can you let him know it’s not me it’s him”

Then ignore.

Porcupineinwaiting · 07/12/2020 19:27

When my kids were little we used to chant:

What do you say if someone gives you a present you like?
Thank you, I love it!

What do you say if someone gives you a present you don't like?
Thank you, I love it!

What do you say if somebody gives you something you have already?
Thank you, I love it!

Seemed to cover all the bases.

lemonsquashie · 07/12/2020 19:31

Wow. What a rude and ungrateful little bugger! You're right that Next comes up small. I would have gone bigger too. That way it would last longer

At aged 10 he is old enough to know that is rude. Surely the mum saw what he wrote

isadoradancing123 · 07/12/2020 19:33

Why do some people make excuses for rude children, he is a rude cheeky brat who if not checked will grow to be a rude arrogant adult

nancybotwinbloom · 07/12/2020 19:34

I can't get over his mum. That's just sooo rude.

I've had gifts for my DD and I always make sure she thanks people.

Actually knowing what that note said and following it up with it's because it's not Nike!

Cheeky bitch.

And to say you made a genuine mistake here's a Christmas list.

She wins the CF thread tonight.

KarenMarlow3 · 07/12/2020 19:41

FraughtwithGin I have 2 godchildren. I would never in a million years buy them clothes. Yes, his response was rude, but your present was dreadful

What? The present was carefully chosen and in no way 'dreadful.' In any case, that's not the point. The point is the ingratitude and rudeness of the recipient.

AliceMck · 07/12/2020 19:43

It dosnt matter whether he liked it or not or whether it fitted, that’s out right rude at 10 he should know better, it’s basic common manners. I’d be appalled if that was my child. I’ve always taught my DCs to say thank you and be grateful for gifts whether they like them or not. If my 6 & 8 year olds can navigate this then a bloody 10yr old can.

Figgygal · 07/12/2020 19:48

Blimey that relationship is dead in the water
I’d send receipt then never instigate contact again either

mbosnz · 07/12/2020 19:50

I think the last gift my GM gave me was a butt ugly Crystal basset hound. I was three.

I love that basset hound.

But GP's shouldn't be expected to give gifts annually, and certainly not to such rude, ungrateful little god-children, and their equally rude and ungrateful parents, with whom the link is growing ever tenuous.

EKGEMS · 07/12/2020 19:53

@FraughtwithGin Have you been forgetting to wash the fruits and veggies,dear?

ChonkyLamp · 07/12/2020 19:55

No more gifts.

Godson needs to learn that rudeness has real-life consequences. He seems unlikely to learn that from his CF mother.