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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
AllAboutHallowsEve · 07/12/2020 14:29

If your DH was the one who was friends with the now ExDH but they no longer speak, and the godson and his mum are that rude to you, then I think its time to ease yourself out of that relationship. You're clearly a lovely person but it sounds like any warmth and respect in this relationship is one way - and you deserve better.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/12/2020 14:39

You teach people how to treat you op. I would cut this pair off. The mother has been painfully clear your role as godmother is only as good as your bank card. I also wouldn’t send a Christmas card. She sent you a message saying she’ll send his xmas list. Either ignore or say “don’t bother “. Lastly, I wouldn’t be paying for an envelope let alone a stamp to post the receipt to these leeches.

OohThatCat · 07/12/2020 14:40

Why are you even bothering with this kid? You said yourself you're not close with his Mum and rarely get a thank you card anyway. If the connection to him is your husband and his Dad being best friends, your husband should take the gift buying on and you can step away.

Or dump them altogether, the kid and mum sound as bad as each other.

CustardySergeant · 07/12/2020 14:48

@HollowTalk

You really would be a mug to give her the receipt.

Just say you can't find the receipt and that you'll pick up the jacket so you can take it to the shop to see if you can get a refund using your bank card.

Then never have anything to do with the grabby pair again.

Agree. Please don't give her the receipt. Just get the jacket back, return it and keep the money.
tallduckandhandsome · 07/12/2020 14:49

I agree, don't give her the receipt.

Workerbee80 · 07/12/2020 14:56

That was so rude, I have an eight year old and she would never write anything like that. Size 11 in next is actually 10-11 rather than 11-12 so your sizing was fine.

Lostinthemail · 07/12/2020 15:07

Oh, what a pity the receipt got ‘lost’ in the mail OP. Please don’t waste a stamp on these ungrateful people.

kerryleigh · 07/12/2020 15:33

I cannot believe how many people find an excuse for this kind of behaviour!
OP you are a very kind person. Flowers I wouldn't want to have anything to do with them both. I would send the receipt so they can change the coat and that would be the last contact in this lifetime

Whammyyammy · 07/12/2020 15:37

That will be his last ever gift i'd buy him

MariaK91 · 07/12/2020 15:42

Wow, dont waste your money on him again. 10 is old enough to know to be polite and grateful when someone gives you a gift.

MrsToothyBitch · 07/12/2020 15:44

What a rude little brat! And what an entitled, rude mum! I'd get a refund and spend it on your own DC. The little shit wouldn't have anything more from me- I would've stopped years ago if I wasn't getting some sort of thank you.

However, in this instance, I think a lesson of sorts is required so may I suggest one last Christmas gift? A stationery pack- one of those cards, notes, writing pad & envelope sets, and either a copy of an etiquette guide or an "art of letter writing" type book. With a note tucked in the parcel that he'll only see when opened, explaining that after witnessing his rudeness, this present is obviously needed. Say you hope it'll stand him in good stead for the future, sadly you won't be around to see it since you've absolved yourself from future godparent duties because it has become clear your efforts were not appreciated.

readingismycardio · 07/12/2020 15:44

Don't give her the receipt. Pick up the jacket and donate to a child in REAL NEED, who will love it!

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 07/12/2020 15:47

Ask for the jacket back saying you’ll be rectifying the situation. I.E. returning it and keeping the money. No need to tell them beforehand though Wink

Noshowlomo · 07/12/2020 16:00

Maybe get the little bastard a lump of coal

CustardySergeant · 07/12/2020 16:05

@MrsToothyBitch

What a rude little brat! And what an entitled, rude mum! I'd get a refund and spend it on your own DC. The little shit wouldn't have anything more from me- I would've stopped years ago if I wasn't getting some sort of thank you.

However, in this instance, I think a lesson of sorts is required so may I suggest one last Christmas gift? A stationery pack- one of those cards, notes, writing pad & envelope sets, and either a copy of an etiquette guide or an "art of letter writing" type book. With a note tucked in the parcel that he'll only see when opened, explaining that after witnessing his rudeness, this present is obviously needed. Say you hope it'll stand him in good stead for the future, sadly you won't be around to see it since you've absolved yourself from future godparent duties because it has become clear your efforts were not appreciated.

They'd just bin it if the OP sent anything like that. They're hardly going to feel bad or change their ways.
Silvergreen · 07/12/2020 16:12

I've laughed my head off at this.

Conkergame · 07/12/2020 16:17

Ah OP, so sorry your kindness and generosity was thrown back in your face like that! Given the breakdown in all other relationships involved, I’d back away now.

I’d send a Christmas card saying you were hurt that your generosity was so unappreciated so won’t be sending any more gifts, however you are there for your godson if he needs any help or guidance. I would send something in more child-friendly language to your godson explaining that when you hurt or offend someone they won’t want to spend as much time with you or spend money on you. I would actually buy him a book of Aesop’s fables but he’s probably too far gone for it to be of much use given his bad parenting!

EKGEMS · 07/12/2020 17:18

@underneaththeash So you think it's fair play for a child disappointed by his gift to be a rude,ungrateful brat? It doesn't matter if he received dryer lint he should learn to express gratitude. Not receiving what you want is one of life's greatest lessons. Have you learned that principle? Are you teaching your children that?

HTH1 · 07/12/2020 17:23

I would be furious with my 8 year old if he wrote that, never mind the older one! Very, very rude and you should text the mother a picture of the card.

Bikingbear · 07/12/2020 17:27

@HTH1

I would be furious with my 8 year old if he wrote that, never mind the older one! Very, very rude and you should text the mother a picture of the card.
The mum knew what was on the card and still sent it.

I can completely forgive a 10yo for being rude / thoughtless / grumpy when forced to write a thankyou but I cannot forgive an adult for posting it.

LadyEloise · 07/12/2020 17:27

@Cygne
" It might be worth suggesting to your friend that, for his own sake, your godson needs to learn to empathise, be considerate and show good manners."

Good luck with that !!!

As someone said upthread- the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Sad

FetchezLaVache · 07/12/2020 17:38

What strikes me is that this is the first and only thank-you card you've ever had from him, which suggests that one or both of them came up with the idea of sending it expressly to let you know that the present wasn't appreciated! Pair of horrors, agree with everybody else that you will be teaching the child a valuable lesson he's clearly not going to learn at home if you stop sending any presents in future.

gingerbiscuits · 07/12/2020 17:43

@Highfivemum

Text from mum to say she apologizes that his card upset me. Maybe I should ask her what he wants to avoid it happening again !!! But I am not to worry as it was a genuine mistake !!! She finished by saying she will send me some things on his Christmas list!! Yes I think some of you are right. I have Mug stamped on my head !!!
Oh my God!! Mum and son are beyond rude & have no manners whatsoever - do not buy that child a bloody Christmas present! Outrageous cheeky fuckery!!
CandyLeBonBon · 07/12/2020 17:43

Bloody hell just read the whole thread. Bloody entitled fuckers. I do think you should get that book 'manners for children' (or something) mentioned upthread! Bloody cheek

PuffyChuff · 07/12/2020 17:47

Wow , that's so rude , I cannot believe the mother thought that was ok , no one is that thick