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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:

vanillandhoney · 07/12/2020 13:19

Send the receipt back in the Christmas card. Then just stop. I wouldn't even bother with a card in the future, tbh.

sorryforswearing · 07/12/2020 13:19

If he doesn't know that is rude he needs telling. I'd be mortified if my son had ever done that. Mum might not know but at that age I wouldn't be letting anything be posted out that I hadn't seen and okayed. Children need guidance as to how to conduct themselves.

Emeraldshamrock · 07/12/2020 13:20

I can't believe his DM allowed the card it is cheeky.
Post on the receipt I'd send a token gift at Christmas £5 max in a card just to be the bigger person then gifts would stop.

luckylavender · 07/12/2020 13:20

Very rude. I would send his Mum a picture of the note.

ChloeCrocodile · 07/12/2020 13:22

Are you still friends with the child's father? If so I'd speak to him and send cards to his father's house instead of him mum's. No more gifts though.

CustardySergeant · 07/12/2020 13:22

@luckylavender

Very rude. I would send his Mum a picture of the note.

If you RTFT you would see that she already knows what was in the note.

Googlelafy · 07/12/2020 13:23

I would be very upset and hurt to receive such a text. I always buy the bigger size.

He obviously sees how his mother reacts to present giving. I would not cut out sending gifts but I would give ten pounds In a card.

DontBeShelfish · 07/12/2020 13:23

I definitely wouldn't send any more gifts. Give yourself credit for trying to facilitate a relationship, but his Mum obviously doesn't give a shit. Even if I thought you'd sent something they wouldn't wear, I would never in a million years let my DD send a card like that. It's beyond rude.

bubbletrouble1 · 07/12/2020 13:25

No more gifts and no more trips out. Let him come to you if he wants and you can explain it to him. His card was shockingly rude and his mother is awful. I wouldn't hold out much hope for this boy.

SingToTheSky · 07/12/2020 13:25

I think a Christmas card but no gift (and not saying “I’ve not included a gift because...”) is the way forward.

And please let us know at Christmas if they ask why you’ve not sent something :o

Chabbylis · 07/12/2020 13:26

I would have thought that 10 yo was old enough to not be rude like that and also to understand that it’s good to buy larger sizes especially for coats and jumpers that go on top of other layers.

ekidmxcl · 07/12/2020 13:30

My good god op, I just wouldn’t bother with shit like this. You do presents, she doesn’t and is rude and ungrateful, I’d just write the whole thing off. No card, no contact, they can just fuck right off. I wouldn’t have thought this when I was younger, I’d have tried to accommodate them but they are a pair of grabby fucks and you have your own family to deal with. They won’t change, they just want presents off you. Give nothing.

ForeverInADay · 07/12/2020 13:30

My son has been very rude about presents before (he has ASD and verbally his thoughts just come out) BUT I am always highly embarrassed and apologetic and would be mortified if I was his mum. No way would I have left him send that card.

I would have taught him how to behave gratefully and explained it to him (my son now has a small filter but it is very much 'taught'!)

Op - I think you need to consider whether you actually want them in your life at all.

PizzaForOne · 07/12/2020 13:31

Whilst you have engaged and made effort to be nice to godson, clearly his mother thinks little of you to allow him to be so rude and suggest you are still to get him a xmas present etc. As for taking him out once a month - I bet she loves its as its a free break/childcare for her.

Time to cut off. It's sad for Godson, but his mum should educate him properly on manners etc, so really its her failure, but sometimes you've got to put yourself first and stop being a mug getting them gifts and days out every month in return for nothing.

I'm guessing godson's mother never bought your DC anything?

LongDistanceClaret · 07/12/2020 13:31

How about sending him one last gift for Christmas from those charities like Oxfam where you send a card saying “your present is a loo in the Congo” or “your gift will clothe a street child for a year in Sao Paolo”

MrsMiaWallis · 07/12/2020 13:32

What an awful pair. They don't deserve you OP.

littlemisslozza · 07/12/2020 13:32

Very rude! I agree about buying something that will last too. Surely parents can explain that to a child if he thinks you don't know his age!

On a slightly different note I don't think Next clothes come up small for children personally, but I would still choose the size up unless the child was small for their age, so it lasts.

PatchworkElmer · 07/12/2020 13:32

I’d send the receipt. I probably wouldn’t bother with a Christmas gift- maybe a cheap selection box or something..

Thereluctantstepmother · 07/12/2020 13:33

My DSD used to do things like this and she was later diagnosed with PDA.
Is there any chance he could have autism or PDA?

AlwaysCheddar · 07/12/2020 13:35

Send the receipt, cheap selection box for Xmas only them draw a line. Both he and the mum are dreadful. If they can’t even give you a card, forget them.

TJ17 · 07/12/2020 13:36

@SquirtleSquad

Happy Christmas you little shit

Just spat out my tea 😂😂😂

@SquirtleSquad

aSofaNearYou · 07/12/2020 13:37

No I wouldn't buy him anymore gifts and I wouldn't continue the godparent relationship either, if I'm reading right and his mother knew he wrote that and sanctioned sending it. Any parent that would think that was an acceptable thing to send you in response to a gift would not be someone I would be bothered maintaining a relationship with.

Holothane · 07/12/2020 13:37

He’d get nothing again.

Crunchymum · 07/12/2020 13:39

I may be spectacularly missing the point here @Highfivemum but how did you come to be this child's godmother?

Foofer · 07/12/2020 13:40

I can’t believe they went to the trouble of sending the card though! To say that to you would be cheeky but to send it in a card (particularly when they’ve never sent one before) is just plain spiteful.

With that in mind I’d offer to take it back, get it refunded, put the money back in my pocket and say no more. Done.

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