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Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
oldmum22 · 07/12/2020 12:53

Well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it!

Appalling lack of manners from the boy and his mum. Don't bother in future! I always size up, lots of shops not very generous with sizes and after all, children do grow.

Thank you Keyperfect.....my sentiments exactly

Duggeehugs82 · 07/12/2020 12:56

@PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe

All this 'my kids wouldn't want a coat' nonsense. Cool. So what you do if you're a normal person is, you give it to a refugee organisation and write a note to the giver saying how much you liked their generous gift. You don't suggest your child's rudeness is somehow refreshingly honest in these woke times, or proffer a list of alternative gifts. Fuck me.
This , it blows my mind people reaction can be well i wouldnt buy a child clothes as a gift. I have recieved lots of different clothes from family and friend for my girls and u know what i did, even if i didnt like them personally. I am greteful they took time and money to spend on my girls and i say thank u
Anothermother3 · 07/12/2020 12:56

Wow that’s so rude. My son is big for his age and even if things are a bit small he wouldn’t ever get away with saying anything but thank you! Time to take a step back. If she had been surprised and apologetic and pulled him up on it fine but he will never learn better with her around.

MiaMarshmallows · 07/12/2020 12:57

Sorry, just read through.
I have had similar experiences in the past. Either a lack of acknowledgement or being told the child did not like the gift. I didn't bother again.
Sorry this happened to you. There are some very rude people about. Kid will learn the hard way unfortunately.

SoupDragon · 07/12/2020 12:57

I’d be tempted to put a £10 note in a card in future OP and no more.

I'd be tempted to only send an empty card in future. No way wojld I be sending them any more gifts.

I agree with those who suggest getting the coat back and getting a refund for yourself.

lockdownalli · 07/12/2020 12:58

Bloody Hell OP I am reading this with my mouth hanging open!

When I first read it I actually laughed because it's the sort of thing my DNeice would write to me in a card, but she would mean it as a joke, because we are close and that is the sort of relationship we have.

It is clear that your relationship with DGS and his mother is completely one sided and they are both incredibly rude. Totally agree you should not buy anything for Christmas or ever again.

fatkitchen · 07/12/2020 12:58

YANBU

He sounds horrible. I would t why him another gift either ever

user1471538283 · 07/12/2020 12:58

He is only 10 but if it were my child I would like to know how rude he was to you. I can put up with a lot but bad manners and particularly to an elder I do not

TillyTopper · 07/12/2020 13:01

Wow! that's very rude, I would not cut him slack because he's 10. He should know better. My kids are older now but definitely they would have said thank you, even if they then came to me to ask what to do as it was too big.

I have to wonder why his mum wasn't on the case anyway, seems weird she didn't see the parcel and at least ask him even if he didn't unwrap it infront of her.

I'd knock the giftls on the head for sure.

YoniAndGuy · 07/12/2020 13:01
Shock

You'll be doing this entitled little shit a massive favour by never sending him another present ever, ever again.

Seeing as he's clearly receiving no guidance whatsoever in becoming a normal polite human being from his mother, let this be something he remembers and maybe learns from. The Godmother who provided a good example in what good manners are expected around gifts.

His mother sounds absolutely no loss to your life at all, in fact I'd suggest you do your self esteem a massive favour and tell her to go spin if she thinks you're even going to read his gift list - cheeky bossy cow - but, if you do want to leave the door open for her brat son - make sure that door is one he knows won't be answered without good manners. Never ever send him more than a card in future asking how he's doing and hoping that his manners are ever improving.

fatkitchen · 07/12/2020 13:01

@Highfivemum

Shocked ...Just got a text from his DM. She knew he sent the note and what it said. She said he was being over dramatic as the jacket is slightly large but fine but he doesn’t like it as it isn’t Nike !!
Wow Shock please don't waste anymore money on a person who doesn't appreciate your efforts. Their age doesn't matter.
ThriceThriceThice · 07/12/2020 13:02

I might be a tad over-suspicious, but I'm wondering if the CF mum is behind the thank you note. I mean if he's never written / sent one before maybe she suggested what he should write?

Either way, it sounds like you have enough on your plate with your own family, so unless you really want to maintain a relationship with the boy, I'd step away now. I think otherwise you will end up resentful.

NameChange84 · 07/12/2020 13:02

@user1471538283

He is only 10 but if it were my child I would like to know how rude he was to you. I can put up with a lot but bad manners and particularly to an elder I do not
His mother knew the contents of the card and excused the OP for HER mistake in not buying him a Nike coat instead and offered to provide a list of suitable Christmas gifts Angry.
CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/12/2020 13:03

Personally I'd rather not get a thank you card at all. I think that he is old enough to know how rude that was for himself and I am Shock that his mum knew he had put that in the card and let him send it.

I wouldn't be sending him any more gifts, OP, and I would tell them why. I wouldn't be rude about it but I would say to them that you would never be so rude to someone who had taken the trouble to choose and send you a gift even if it wasn't exactly what you wanted or the right size. I assume they didn't give you the coat back so they must have either kept or exchanged it.

FWIW I always speak to parents of any child I am buying for to tell them what I am going to spend and ask what the child would like. Once they get to 10 I offer to make it cash if they would prefer to pick for themselves. But that's mainly because I don't really know what children are likely to want. I am not for a moment suggesting that you deserved that appalling response!

YoniAndGuy · 07/12/2020 13:03

And, cut some slack because he's 10? That almost makes it WORSE. I don't know one ten year old who would even think to reply so foully.

He's bloody horrible and you can see where he's learned it!

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 07/12/2020 13:04

I meant to add: and say that you won't be buying another gift because whilst you don't expect any sort of gift in return you don't expect to be told off for what you chose either.

SallyTimms · 07/12/2020 13:04

Love the suggestion to rey you will send her a list for your 6 children.

I would go one step further and say "Let me know what the budget will be for my 6 and I will make sure they have the same spent per child, say £20in each of mine and £20 on dg? Plus best if we pop receipts in too in case returns needed" Grin

Seriously op, hope you do decide to draw a line under gifts and just send a card now.

fatkitchen · 07/12/2020 13:04

@Highfivemum

Text from mum to say she apologizes that his card upset me. Maybe I should ask her what he wants to avoid it happening again !!! But I am not to worry as it was a genuine mistake !!! She finished by saying she will send me some things on his Christmas list!! Yes I think some of you are right. I have Mug stamped on my head !!!
Maybe tell the mum that you won't be getting her ds a gift for Christmas, just a card.
Ferrari458 · 07/12/2020 13:10

This from HighFive says it all to me:

"His mum and I are not close to be honest. Though I have tried. Her EX DH and my DH were best friends growing up. I have always treated him throughout the year and tried to keep him in our lives.
No never received a thank you card or text before."

I would honestly just let this fizzle out. Godparents is a great idea, but it needs to be a bit of a two-way thing. The child's parents need to support the relationship. As it is the only thing keeping you in contact is material - getting presents out of you.

Sadly after my divorce I went through similar with my nephew. I'd either see him on birthdays and Xmas, or they would coincidentally arrange to visit me a couple of days before. I didn't hear a thing at other times, I never got a thank you letter or call. So one birthday I just did nothing and waited. No contact, no visit. Eventually ex-MIL asked if I'd forgotten and I told her that I felt they were only interested in me for presents. Never heard from them again. I think you're in a similar place.

SuitedandBooted · 07/12/2020 13:11

I would send just a card at Christmas, and nothing else at all. Treat them as they treat you.

They clearly aren't bothered about having a proper relationship with you, as that takes consideration and thought from both sides. You seem to be making all the running here. Covid restrictions have obviously stopped the trips out too. Let that be a natural break, and don't start again. Put some distance between them and your wallet!

AryaStarkWolf · 07/12/2020 13:13

I would tell her not to bother with the list, you won't be sending anymore gifts to someone so rude and ungrateful

YoniAndGuy · 07/12/2020 13:15

I've just read back that note putting myself in the place of being the mother, knowing that her child was writing that to another adult.

She has zero respect for you. She honestly has no problem with treating you like the shit on her shoe.

Drop contact. There is nothing positive to come out of this, only negative - it's nothing but bad to keep a contact going where this is the dynamic. It's the equivalent to being shat on, and constantly taking it.

Candiekane · 07/12/2020 13:15

This is so rude.
I would just send a card for Christmas. DONT announce there will be no gift.
You are not obligated. But I’d put money on them contacting you to enquire about no gift

HuggedTheRedwoods · 07/12/2020 13:18

I'd just be sending a card from now on, you dont need the hassle of worrying what his/their response will be to your gifts. Hopefully it might even be a lesson and do him some good before it becomes entrenched behaviour, at ten he's old enough to understand about politeness to others.

MyCassiopiea · 07/12/2020 13:18

Don't send the receipt and don't send a Christmas card. Leave them to it, they're both horrible.