Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

[Highfivemum]

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

@TheKeatingFive

He’s only 10. Obviously he didn’t handle it as well as you would have expected an adult to, but I think you should cut him some slack.

At what age do people stop making excuses for rudesness? A 10 year old should know that he was being rude in the wording of his message.

Agree with copperhead road. I have 2 DSs who have always written/texted thank yous - because I made them do it. I can’t remember reading anything more appalling about the way a gift has been received - ever. There is no way my 2 would ever have written or said anything like this. They might have told me they didn’t like something but never the giver!
The mother’s behaviour is appalling. There is absolutely no way I would ever send anything again. But then my godchildren would never do anything like this. What an entitled brat - doesn’t like it as it isn’t Nike. What?

Based on your updates OP I’m guessing that he’s been couped up with his materialistic mum for too long during C19 and has forgotten any of the normal behaviour the rest of the world, including you during your monthly catch ups, might have taught him. He’s spoiled and it’s sad. Most of us have chosen to use the last few months as teachable moments to be grateful for what we have. I don’t know what’s gone on with his mum but she’s opted for spoiling him and putting things above relationships or people

@RealLifeHotWaterBottle

You need to have a word with his parents. Either they are unaware he sent that card and need to have a discussion with him about it, or they do know and you need to have a discussion with them about being rude idiots.

I would copy the message to them, no comment about rudeness, and say Shall I arrange an exchange?

OP I'd stop flogging a dead horse. Ask the mum to leave it in the porch, get your money back and move on.

As for the not giving you presents - well if you've got 6 children and she's got one, I am not entirely surprised, it would get a bit overwhelming to have to remember six birthdays as well as very expensive.

But that doesn't remove the fact that both son and mother are rude and entitled. Do they actually add anything to your life?

Goodness in response to her message about asking her for gift ideas I think I would of gone with the MN classic of "no, that doesn't work for me" and blocked her.

So the child's father was the your husbands friend but wasn't a godparent , you were not friends but were asked to be a godparent is that right ?

Yeah he was a bit rude, but he's 10, so I wouldn't hold it against him.
If you see him every month, is he normally this rude to your face?

I think things can be mis communicated over txt. The mother should have said think high, but I can see her point about buying something he actually wants saves wasting your money. Maybe a proper conversation this would have come across better.

The mother's bringing him up to be rude and unkind unfortunately

He sounds incredibly spoiled.

I’d stop sending gifts, but would send a card and say that a donation has been made to a charity on his behalf, for children in need.

Request that next year he forwards you the name of a charitable cause he would like to support.

She should have said thank you not think high, (that would just make no sense )

@Highfivemum

DH is not his godfather . DH has not seen/spoken his old friend for around 5 years. I will still send receipt to her then that isn’t isn’t. I literally feel as if I have been a fool. I will not waste anymore money but will leave the door open for him in the future.

Perfect, OP.

Or just put 5quid in a card

I read this as "Just put a Squid in a card".

At 10 I would have LOVED that!

Neither of my boys would be pleased to receive clothes. Also next fits big - it was probably massive!

er..hes 10. do you possibly think he might have been miffed thinking you didnt remember how old he was.?and his response was based on that?

Yes I am godmother my DH is NOT godfather.
My DH And her Ex we’re friends at school. I met my DH at school. So knew him well too. He used his DB as godfather and me as godmother.
I never expected gifts for my children. Someone asked so I said no I have never had any.
It was my choice to keep in touch with my godson and I still want to but I am not being Holden to expensive gifts that are. Or appreicated.

I cannot believe people are excusing such rudeness from a child of that age. Mine are all tween / teens now and I would not have tolerated that manner of rudeness even if they did try it ( not that they ever did).
One of my boys is Autistic, and therefore very literal, and there is no way on earth he would have written something like that even if he thought it.
No wonder there are so many obnoxious children out there if parents are okaying this sort of behaviour.
I think your thoughtfulness is utterly wasted on those people. No way would I be buying anything else for them.
Send them a 'Shelter' or 'Crisis' gift instead. There are some lovely packages to help homeless people that you can donate on their behalf.

I'd just send the receipt and then not bother buying anything else in future.

Wow, the mum is exceptionally rude. I think you have handled it well. I would definitely only send a card in future.

@Highfivemum

DH is not his godfather . DH has not seen/spoken his old friend for around 5 years. I will still send receipt to her then that isn’t isn’t. I literally feel as if I have been a fool. I will not waste anymore money but will leave the door open for him in the future.

I think that’s the best thing and you are actually teaching him that being rude and ungrateful does get punished because he won’t get future presents because of his actions.

Beyond rude! Surely they realise that you buy larger anyway so you can wear thick jumpers etc under it in winter? I would just give them the receipt given the reaction and leave them to it.

I'd also cut them out going ahead too. What a CF family!

Christ he is going to struggle through life with an attitude like that.

No wonder though as his mum is no better

Send back- "OK, thanks. I'll send you a gift list for my 6 DC as well"

That should end the friendship pretty swiftly.

I am not being Holden to expensive gifts that are. Or appreicated.

I don't think you are being Holden to it though, she doesn't buy your kids and you say it's you who wants to keep the contact, so I think it's best left now if you were never friends anyway.

Unless of course he isn't that rude when you see him once a month and you all enjoy the experience ?

Shocked ...Just got a text from his DM. She knew he sent the note and what it said. She said he was being over dramatic as the jacket is slightly large but fine but he doesn’t like it as it isn’t Nike

I'm afraid that would be the end of present giving from me!

His mum is even worse than he is! I like the snow leopard idea. I got my mum a goat once that was for someone in Africa and she loved it - something like that and the info that comes with it might actually give him pause for thought about who actually needs what in this world and how spoilt he is. You could maybe sponsor a toilet somewhere in his name if you want to send a very clear message!

Or you could get him presents that are special outings for the two of you. His mum sounds like a total nightmare and best avoided completely.

OK, thanks. I'll send you a gift list for my 6 DC as well

I love that.

However, if you do want to keep open the possibility of the relationship continuing, a card but no gift is best.