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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
IrmaFayLear · 07/12/2020 10:54

In this day and age no child has to sit down and write the dreaded thank you letters (except to aged aunts) but can send a text. A text is quite good enough for me, just to let me know the present arrived. Even better if they liked the gift.

BUT to pass negative judgement on a present and for the mother to chime in. Horrendous behaviour! I remember when I tentatively asked sil if the dns' Christmas presents had arrived, only to be told crisply that "the girls don't need to thank anyone for unsolicited gifts" Shock

HotelliFinlandia · 07/12/2020 10:56

Horrific!
ONLY a card from now on. If the mother sees nothing wrong with that "thank you" then it's never going to improve.

If he complains he's not getting gifts, send him a Bible - you're the godparent ;)

BecomeStronger · 07/12/2020 10:56

Oh dear, I'm now wondering what my DSs' thankyou notes have said over the year, it's never occurred to me to check them Blush

I think he was probably sulking with mum making him write the note more than with you for getting the wrong size.

Teddy1970 · 07/12/2020 10:56

A list? Fuck me it gets worse! Why in God's name does he deserve anything from you after this performance?

HotelliFinlandia · 07/12/2020 10:56

@BecomeStronger

Oh dear, I'm now wondering what my DSs' thankyou notes have said over the year, it's never occurred to me to check them Blush

I think he was probably sulking with mum making him write the note more than with you for getting the wrong size.

The mother knew!
Bikingbear · 07/12/2020 10:58

I'm surprised that the mum knew what he'd writtenShock I find Next to be long and narrow where M&S is short but wider. However I could forgive the boy for writing it but I'd struggle to forgive his mum for knowingly posting it.

Godparents or not I think I'd let the relationship with the boys mum slide. Is DH still close to the boys Dad? I think I'd focus my efforts on that relationship.

Thehollyandtheirony · 07/12/2020 10:58

Collect the jacket and take it to a charity Christmas collection or return it and give the money to charity.
Giving is supposed to make you feel good. Giving anything else to this ungrateful boy won’t do that.

MiniMum97 · 07/12/2020 11:00

@SquirtleSquad

Happy Christmas you little shit
Oh please send him this for Christmas! And report back! 😊
SunnySideDownBriefly · 07/12/2020 11:01

This is unbelievable! How rude - and this isn't going to change as the mother is setting the tone for how he will behave for the rest of his life. So entitled.

If I were you, I would state that I will come and collect the jacket to return it. I would then get a refund and not send another present. They don't deserve it and are taking advantage of your kind nature.

You don't need to 'cut them off' but I think you should consider stepping away. There doesn't have to be an argument but they need to understand how disrespectful and hurtful they have been.

Mcnotty · 07/12/2020 11:01

@HotelliFinlandia

Horrific! ONLY a card from now on. If the mother sees nothing wrong with that "thank you" then it's never going to improve.

If he complains he's not getting gifts, send him a Bible - you're the godparent ;)

Love this. Do it @OP
Backbee · 07/12/2020 11:01

Wow, the fact that she saw it and still deemed it okay to send is pretty savage. He should know better at 10, but if not then she should have said no we either say something nice or not at all etc. You seem reasonable, so she could have asked to swap it or whatever, they both sound ungrateful and glad you aren't bothering with presents anymore.

tenlittlecygnets · 07/12/2020 11:02

'Dear ex-friend
I was very upset to get such a rude card from Little Shit, and was amazed that you actually knew what he had written, and allowed him to send such a rude card.
If Little Shit didn't like the jacket, you could have asked me for the receipt so you could change it.
Don't worry about sending Christmas gift ideas - we won't be buying any more gifts for Little Shit.'

I love the manners book a pp posted!

RincewindsHat · 07/12/2020 11:05

I'd be letting her know I'd pick up the jacket and return it, then just wouldn't say anything to her again after that (I'd be keeping my refunded cash too, thanks). Her and her precious child are both blindingly rude and entitled. Do not buy the kid anything until he learns some manners, and if he ever asks, be very blunt - rude people who don't appreciate gifts don't GET gifts, godson. Thanks for asking.

notdaddycool · 07/12/2020 11:07

Get him something really small and send it back to his mum saying would you like me to change it?

isthismylifenow · 07/12/2020 11:08

This is not normal behaviour.

tallduckandhandsome · 07/12/2020 11:08

I agree, just a card, no more presents in future.

OP, do you have children and do they ever get your kids a present? Or do they get you and DH a present?

justilou1 · 07/12/2020 11:10

Wow @fairydustandpixies how hurtful! I hope you have some kind of response prepared for when he asks why Santa wasn’t generous this year? *little shit

justilou1 · 07/12/2020 11:11

@Highfivemum - can you ask her to return jacket so you can replace it? Then send a glitterbomb or plastic dog shit.

OverTheRainbow88 · 07/12/2020 11:12

Wtf, yup I wouldn’t bother sending presents any more.

Rude and ungrateful. Save your money.

CodenameVillanelle · 07/12/2020 11:12

If you decide to send anything in future make it a £5 Amazon voucher

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/12/2020 11:12

@TheQueef

You're still GP. Time to instil a bit of charity to them all with an Oxfam gift of build a toilet.
Grin
Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 11:13

My DH and her EXDH are no longer in touch. He isn’t local anymore. I have been the ones who have kept the relationship with my Godson going.
I have 6 DC and one is a baby but I still spent time choosing a present and put a lot of thought into it. I usually take home out once a month with my DC ( pre covid) and treat him. It now strikes me that if I didnt instigate this then I would not probably see him. I do not give a present to receive praise but neither do I expect to be criticized for it.
Feeling a tad silly now. As if I have been a mug.

OP posts:
LadyR77 · 07/12/2020 11:14

Wow, I'd be utterly mortified if my 7 year old wrote something like that, never mind a 10 year old! I'd be showing the message to his mum and definitely wouldn't be bothering with future gifts.

Crustmasiscoming · 07/12/2020 11:14

Wow. That's pretty cheeky.

Yeah, no presents from now on. Don't bother replying to that last text from the mum, and if she sends you a Christmas list I wouldn't reply to that either. Just a card will do.

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 11:14

And no only ever had a card from her. Never anything for the DC. Not even with my baby

OP posts: