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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:

WiseOwlWan · 07/12/2020 10:39

And whatever about funing one's own offspring's taste for brand names only, id be mortified expecting an aunt, friend or godparent to stump up for a branded item.

It is the mother who is deluded, thinking that nothing would fulfil you more than to spend yr money on her child.

Beautiful3 · 07/12/2020 10:39

I bet she didn't read it and just posted all the thank you cards. When my daughter was 6 she received a christmas card. The inside read, "you are not my friend anymore". I phoned the girls mother who was mortified. She had posted out a pile of cards, without reading any! So I can believe it if the mother says that she didn't know! As a side note I always buy coats one size bigger for my children! It will soon fit him!

WiseOwlWan · 07/12/2020 10:39

Funding

SugarCoatIt · 07/12/2020 10:39

Well it certainly sounds like the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree - absolutely unbelievable.

I'd message back and say no need to worry about sending the Christmas list, it's all in hand and then give them naff all.

Toilenstripes · 07/12/2020 10:40

If a 10 year old in my family had written that they would be severely punished. Manners maketh the man. This child is going to have a rough future.

FourTeaFallOut · 07/12/2020 10:41

@Cavagirl

"I'm sorry you feel he was rude"

Is his mum Priti Patel?

Gregariousfox · 07/12/2020 10:42

*"I'm sorry you feel he was rude"

Is his mum Priti Patel?*

I can see where he gets his rudeness from OP. I really wouldn't bother with either of them in future. It sounds like you've been really generous to them and they don't appreciate it.

Beautiful3 · 07/12/2020 10:42

I'm so sorry, I've just read your update stating that the mother did know! That's horrible of her to allow such a card to be sent to you! Please only send cards from now on, no more presents until he knows how to behave! Ungrateful and rude springs to mind.

coffeelover3 · 07/12/2020 10:42

FFS what an entitled set of cf's. The child is only taking after the mother. I wouldn't even reply to that. God I'd be raging. And if I were you I'd be round there to collect the jacket. Unreal!!!!!! And DEFINITELY nothing for Christmas. Why would you????!!!!

Nanny0gg · 07/12/2020 10:43

@Highfivemum

Text from mum to say she apologizes that his card upset me. Maybe I should ask her what he wants to avoid it happening again !!! But I am not to worry as it was a genuine mistake !!! She finished by saying she will send me some things on his Christmas list!! Yes I think some of you are right. I have Mug stamped on my head !!!

Well. Now you know where he got his manners from.

Sorry, he'd get nothing else from me. Do you actually (pre-covid) see them much?

GooseberryTart · 07/12/2020 10:44

At 10 my two hated writing thank you cards but were brought up knowing they had to be done. They would also ask me what they should write or they would say does this sound ok before writing in the card. They practiced on a scrap of paper first and always showed me.
I would say your god son is grumpy about present and mum equally grumpy and upset about something and ungrateful. Maybe they are annoyed at still being in contact with you feel they don’t see you enough and think you don’t know god sons age. When really I think most people would prefer a size up with growing room than receiving a gift that was too small. But at 10 DS wasn’t so much into Nike jackets but some lads in his class wouldn’t wear anything else.

The card is a very rude passive aggressive dig at you, I wouldn’t bother in future (or if you do send cash or pay with cash and include receipt in a separate envelope addressed to mum.

For background my children are both taller than average my SIL is wealthy and extremely tiny/petite. She would insist on buying my two designer clothes as presents with no receipt possibly from Designer outlet Cheshire Oaks or similar. Two years running she got DD a pretty dress which was about two sizes too small no receipt/totally unusable and we sold for a pittance on Ebay. Occasionally DS got a top he liked and could wear but more often things fitted where they touched length wise for about a month. When they were little we always phoned to say thank you and once they could write they always sent a card to say thank you for the lovely X. Never once did SIL ask if clothes fitted or what size to buy and we weren’t rude or ungrateful enough to say. Latterly we would say if buying clothes for Christmas/birthday from say NEXT or High Street Store please could you buy one year up but if designer please could you buy two or three years older than their age as the fit is smaller, so she did and this was fine.

Now sis in law has DC of her own we always ask what they would like and what size would you recommend and if any doubts we include receipt in a separate envelope addressed to mum.

CakeRequired · 07/12/2020 10:46

Very rude, no excuse. Tell his mum and no Christmas present. Sounds like a spoilt brat whose mummy indulges him and doesn't tell him he's wrong ever.

CakeRequired · 07/12/2020 10:46

Ignore the tell his mum part, forgot you already had.

CakeRequired · 07/12/2020 10:47

Although, maybe tell her the list won't be necessary as he's too spoilt and rude to deserve a present. Might shock her into realising she is raising a monster.

ememem84 · 07/12/2020 10:47

don't think there would be much if anything from me either after that response.

a friends daughter when she was 4 told me that she liked the gift i'd given her even though it "just wasn't her style..."

Porridgeoat · 07/12/2020 10:48

Ask her if there will be any repercussions due to sending such a rude card when instead he could have thanked you and then politely asked for the receipt to exchange the jacket to get a smaller size

Holly60 · 07/12/2020 10:48

I messaged earlier to say go easy on the child. Since hearing the response from his mum I say you are being taken advantage of and have every right to ask for the jacket back.

I’m sorry you have been made to feel bad by another adult. That really isn’t on.

LouHotel · 07/12/2020 10:49

The entitlement is strong in this one.

Aneley · 07/12/2020 10:51

Wow, that's a whole new level of CF. I would have forgiven the kid and maybe even have a laugh about it if I was really close with mum, it turned out that she didn't know what the child wrote as kids don't have good filters. But it is clear that not only mum knew but she also doesn't see anything wrong with it. At that point, I'd not only not buy anymore presents for the kid, but I'd seriously reconsider relationship with the mum.

TulipsTwoLips · 07/12/2020 10:51

You are being taken for a ride. I'd drop them from my life altogether, and I don't often do that.

HeyAllYouCoolCatsAndKittenz · 07/12/2020 10:51

how rude..... my nephew is very like this he is 10 also 2 years he came into the living room christmas morning and said oh is that all i get santa must have not had much money this year. after opening his gifts he said i like my playstation but i didnt ask for the rest of the stuff so can i send it back to santa and just get money instead...

stairgates · 07/12/2020 10:52

You should collect the jacket and get it refunded then spend the money on adopting a snow leopard for the year for him or similar :D

LuckyNumberThirteen · 07/12/2020 10:53

"Don't worry about the Christmas list - only sending a card this year"

Unbelievably rude!

fairydustandpixies · 07/12/2020 10:53

My adult DS has ignored birthday gifts that I've sent him and to his GF. He's also stopped sending me a gift (not that I expect one!) or even a card for the past two years. He's 20, left home at 18 for uni and lives with GF rest of the time. They are not getting gifts this Christmas.

Your godson is appallingly rude. Know when to draw the line. If a simple thank you isn't forthcoming then don't bother in future.

Riv12345 · 07/12/2020 10:54

This is awful op

I know you want to keep your godchild in your life but this is ridiculous

I would try to step back abit you do not deserve to be treated like this

Next clothes do come up very small I agree.

It's a hard one I would tread very carefully.
Talk to your DH and both decide a way forward.
Just don't want you feeling like this again in the future.

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