To ask how my “d” h spent £400 in a strip club

[porcelaine]

Posting for traffic. Please know that I am obviously naive as I have no idea what really happens in strip clubs and I don’t know what they cost, but H has just told me that his night out ended in a strip club in zone 1 and when I checked the balance there were 2 atm withdrawals for £200 apiece. So he’s spent £400 (we do not have) in a fucking strip club.
Can anyone enlighten me as to what this might buy as he claims it was just ladies dancing on tables in their lingerie which sounds pretty fucking suspect to me. £400.

You know the place name, so you know its a fully nude club.hes not telling the truth on that one
He has probably either sat in rhe vip bar and/or paid for a few private dances.
Its eadily posdible ylyo see how ye csn have run ip such a high bill? I dont get why he'd be telling you they are clothed in a club which advertises itself as fully nude. He could just admit it Say he was an idiot and go from there, but the stories....

Tell him you're going to go to Griffin and gave a look at what happens in the floor and in private dances etc. Even if you have to buy one or get someone else to.

Have a feeling he won't look all relaxed and calm, or sticking to.his fully dressed private dance story.

Also he could have lied, if he thinks it's the least bad of the places he's seen.

Can you imagine being if the mentality -“Oh right, lockdown has enfed. I must go and have a naked 20 year old man gyrate in my face. Who cares who he is and why he’s there? Might pay hundreds for a few of them in a side room. Lovely. It’s the ONLY place to get a drink. What can I do?”

I said if I called them and asked flat out if they do private dances clothed he said "whatever they say" his conscience will be "clear" because he knows they weren't nude. so he's basically saying even if the club which has no reason to lie say otherwise, he's sticking to his story, as maybe "on a different day" they do nude ones???!! I mean seriously? I think he must have convinced himself that this makes it moderately ok and that its the bit that upsets me the most, never mind the joke he's made of our marriage, and the lying, minimising, blaming, and the money, and everything else.

I think I mentioned upthread but the reason he asked for another chance was we separated over summer as he was being daily emotionally abusive and sulking and getting angry and was un-liveable. he has improved since, but now he goes and does this.

which advertises itself as fully nude.

Well, that answers that question.

No doubt he'll say the web is wrong.

I mean ... He sounds like one of those types of people who could be caught in the middle of intercourse, with photographic evidence, and would still claim nothing happened, they were resuscitating them.or something.

They are hair tearingly frustrating on too of everything else.

Op is it this place?

If it's the Griffin at Clerkenwell it says on the website timetable it's closed for now. Assume COVID ???? So has he been there or not?

It’s very bad timing of him yes, with it being before Christmas. But if he hadn’t done it now, he would have eventually because this type of behaviour takes a certain mentality. Especially from a father. Some men are like this - most men are not.

Deep down he thinks it’s fine and he will try everything to make you seem like the unreasonable / psycho / uptight / cruel one. Be prepared for this. But you have every right to feel how you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Please don’t doubt your own mind.

as maybe "on a different day" they do nude ones???!

I don't know how you haven't assaulted him yet tbh.

That sort of behaviour is so enraging on top.of what he's done.

Ah but it will have opened just so him and his mates could get a drink girlracer

Probably the best fully clothed drinking establishment in the world...

OP, I mean this with kindness. You say this is the first time he’s lied.

It most likely is not.

From the blurb above, I'd presume he doesn't most of the 400 on private dances.

And his original story mentioned private dance is could call and ask how much a private dance is or have a look online for recent reviews.

*spent

I could maybe just about forgive him for being a sleazy git and a wasteful idiot with a full bottle of wine in and a full sail behind me.

For me, he would be gone on the lying alone.

Plus If you look at reviews it says the Griffin is free entry and reasonably priced drinks. So £400 on what?

girlyracer. Sorry flower, missed out your y.

he says it was 280 now. he showed me the 120 left in his wallet. but still. 280 in that place? how? he said rounds of drinks (3 people) and 2 private dances, for him, 1 for a friend. that still doesn't break much of £100. what the fuck is going on.

Ugh, his excuses are so flimsy and pathetic. What a loser.

Be honest. Does it matter? Are you actually going to believe a word he says now?

I'm sorry to say this OP, but he hasn't been the the Griffin. There is nothing in that place that'd set you back £400. Its popular because it's cheap.

How certain are you he was out with his friends? £400 has got hotel room and/or escort written all over it.

It's absolutely pointless trying to talk to him about it .. it's like dealing with Donald trump and fake news.

You won't get any sense or honesty out of him.

He's said they weren't nude or topless and feels that's his line in the sand, he can't go back on that now or it'll or be he's a liar and be ammunition for you to leave etc.

So he'll just keep on with deny deny deny, no matter how ridiculous.

By the sounds of it they were nude for at least part of the dance (even the floor performers).

I'm sure his texts to his mates would be illuminating.
Perhaps if he has nothing to hide he can recover them .

Interesting how he's the one that's what on your relationship and family, and left you looking at breaking up your marriage & family due to his actions; but he's the one who feels suicidal. Focus on him, poor him

What about poor you. I wonder what people like him would say and do if their partner came back at them with mental health and suicide concerns/threats.

God that sounded harsh. I'm sorry. I'm just aware of the Griffin, it's patronage, and it's £5 and £20 dances.

God it's fucking grim reading the google maps reviews of the place.

£280 on that list of (gross) stuff?

It's £1 each in a jug for the main stage according to multiple reviews so I can't imagine private dances are big bucks.

I hate the attitude of men who go to these places. And it's always because nowhere else is open or their mates "made" them do it. Both reasons just make them sound like idiots.

I'm not sure it's even open to be honest due to covid.

And he deleted the chat with friends.

My thought would be they went to a brothel or hired an escort for that money.

Ugh. Ducks in a row time OP.

Sorry for errant apostrophes above.

A QUID.

Seriously OP has he even been there, the timetable says it's shut until further notice? See photo. What has he spent the money on?