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Original poster

To ask how my “d” h spent £400 in a strip club

1000 replies

porcelaine · 07/12/2020 01:34

Posting for traffic. Please know that I am obviously naive as I have no idea what really happens in strip clubs and I don’t know what they cost, but H has just told me that his night out ended in a strip club in zone 1 and when I checked the balance there were 2 atm withdrawals for £200 apiece. So he’s spent £400 (we do not have) in a fucking strip club.
Can anyone enlighten me as to what this might buy as he claims it was just ladies dancing on tables in their lingerie which sounds pretty fucking suspect to me. £400.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Scbchl · 08/12/2020 16:47

My husbands friend spent 600..he was getting private dances by the girls.

Happyheartlovelife · 08/12/2020 16:49

Ha. My friend used to work the clubs

It’s very cheap to get in these things. But the cost once in them. They charge astonomical prices for drinks. It’s also for dances etc.

But I can see how it can quite easily be done without having private dances.

thirdfiddle · 08/12/2020 16:50

The pressure he's putting on you now is almost more disrespectful than going in the first place. If he actually understood, if he was actually sorry, he wouldn't be trying to bully you into acceptance, he would be giving you the space you asked for.
I'm sorry OP. He just doesn't sound like a very nice person.

DBML · 08/12/2020 16:51

Fucking hell op, you poor thing.

Tell him that unless it gets downgraded again to a square dancing club, he better pack his bags.

Sleaze bag.

Happyheartlovelife · 08/12/2020 16:52

Also.

I met Jenna Jameson once. I worked in nightclubs in the states. She told me that in America in strips clubs after a certain time they have to put their underwear back on!! Something to do with laws on nakedness after a certain time

Always made me laugh. She also had to stick lollipops up her and sell them for $40. I vividly remember that because I remember saying ‘but surely that just give you horrific thrush!’ And everyone laughing at me. But it must!

Imworthit · 08/12/2020 16:54

Your boundaries and dealbreakers are yours to make tho. And by trying to get you to 'resolve it' he's not respecting you.

AIMD · 08/12/2020 16:56

Slightly off topic but how do strippers socially distance while giving a private dance? I though alcohol could only be served with a meal.../maybe he had steak and champagne with his lap dance?

Takeitonthechin · 08/12/2020 17:00

Pack his bags and let him spend Christmas at his parents, he can tell them why he's there and how much he spent... I wouldn't be wasting any more time on him, let him know his 3 kids will cost him more than this per month to pay towards

pepsicolagirl · 08/12/2020 17:03

I mean, you can choose to blow £400 yourself and draw a line under it but I think at this point I would tell him to get to fuck tbh. The fact that he pissed £400 up the wall that you can ill afford speaks volumes - that is not the man anyone deserves to be landed with.

His defence of "but she kept her undies on" would just make me think he was even more of a prat tbh.

Takeitonthechin · 08/12/2020 17:09

Can you see which atm he used, it will be the nearest one to the club, you can check if it was a strip or pole dancing club

PurBal · 08/12/2020 17:14

DHs mate spent £3k in a strip club at DH stag. Had to cancel his family holiday. £400 is an easy spend. I wouldn't considered it fishy.

pepsicolagirl · 08/12/2020 17:19

@PurBal

DHs mate spent £3k in a strip club at DH stag. Had to cancel his family holiday. £400 is an easy spend. I wouldn't considered it fishy.
omfg can you imagine having to have that conversation
CoffeeSTAT · 08/12/2020 17:23

The concept that strip clubs are somehow ok on a stag do is the weirdest twisted logic ever. So, to celebrate marrying the love of your life, mother of your children, woman you treasure above all others, you pay total strangers to take their clothes off and gyrate naked bits of their body at/on you? Wtf? And people marry these utter tossers? Confused

Original poster
porcelaine · 08/12/2020 17:33

He says definitely not topless, he didn’t enjoy it at all, he was so drunk. Total minimising. He’s now also blanking me because I was angry earlier. HE is sulking at ME.
I am honestly in just such shock about this and also now his reaction.

OP posts:
notquitealonealone · 08/12/2020 17:34

The concept that strip clubs are somehow ok on a stag do is the weirdest twisted logic ever. So, to celebrate marrying the love of your life, mother of your children, woman you treasure above all others, you pay total strangers to take their clothes off and gyrate naked bits of their body at/on you? Wtf? And people marry these utter tossers?

This with bells on. If my DH to be visited a strip club or even just had a stripper on his stag, there would be no wedding. It would be a case of 'no thank you, off you fuck.'

TheLadyOfShallnott · 08/12/2020 17:36

He wants you to make him feel better because he knows he is a sleazy git.

He wants you to accept the blame to make him feel better about being a sleazy git.

He wants to make excuses about having to spend £400 being a sleazy git.

And to pressure you to accept all of the above in his head absolves him of sleazy gitdom.

It doesn’t.

I’m so sorry OP. I’d be asking him for permanent thinking time. Flowers

notquitealonealone · 08/12/2020 17:40

I am so sorry @porcelaine that you are going through this, and that your 'D'H is attempting to put the guilt on you. I can't quite get my head around that.
He is a real prick.

He says he was soooo drunk, but not drunk enough to go and take out extra money from an atm or to delete messages from his phone.
He is definitely not telling you the whole story. The deleted messages confirm that.
I guess he thinks deleted messages are a better option then you seeing what was actually in them.

Do you know the other wives well enough to ask if they can see the messages on their dh phones? That would really mess him up. Assuming they knew their dh's were in a strip club, might be news to them.

TheLadyOfShallnott · 08/12/2020 17:41

He is sulking because you won’t validate his story.

You know it is shite. He knows it is shite.

He is sulking in the hope of you making you fold and accept it all.

Turning it on you is so far from acceptable. But remarkably common sadly.

Imworthit · 08/12/2020 17:41

They never keep their tops on in strip clubs wtf🤣 he's taking you for a fool.

nosswith · 08/12/2020 17:42

Never mind the expense, a night out can just end earlier. No excuse.

yetanothernamitynamechange · 08/12/2020 17:43

@Imworthit

They never keep their tops on in strip clubs wtf🤣 he's taking you for a fool.
Well indeed, otherwise they would be called "women keeping their clothes on" clubs or at best "women in state of partial nudity" clubs which would be less of a sell I suspect.
Original poster
porcelaine · 08/12/2020 17:44

He makes It out that it was almost like a burlesque show or something. Lingerie and poles. Not stripping or nudity or contact. I mean..... he initially said the words strip club to me. So it’s the minimising. I’m sorry to sound like I’m obsessing I’m just really upset. And my sister jsut said “oh they all do it”. Ughhh.

OP posts:
notquitealonealone · 08/12/2020 17:44

By the way, if they were whatsapp messages, if they were deleted within the last 24 hours, I'm pretty sure they can be recovered by deleting the app from the phone and then downloading and setting it up again, and it populates all messages from the last backup.
You should ask him to do that. Actually demand he does that.
Also text messages on an iPhone, if they were present on the phone when last backup was done but no other backup since, you can recover them through a restore i think by icloud / itunes

CoffeeSTAT · 08/12/2020 17:44

Jesus, tell your sister to raise her standards for men, and then show her how it's done.

yetanothernamitynamechange · 08/12/2020 17:45

@PurBal

DHs mate spent £3k in a strip club at DH stag. Had to cancel his family holiday. £400 is an easy spend. I wouldn't considered it fishy.
What lovely people your DH has for friends. His poor wife and kids missing out on their holiday.
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