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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She's so beautiful

231 replies

Goldenhind · 06/12/2020 00:53

Sitting watching Strictly tonight & when Amy comes on my husband says "she's so beautiful"
I appreciate she is beautiful but what really pisses me off is that he very, very rarely gives me verbal compliments.
I said nothing but thought "why do you need to say that"? I see many gorgeous men when we are watching TV but I might think a guy is lovely but don't say it out loud out of respect for my husband...I'm quite distracted & irrationally upset now.
I've got a feeling I'm being a bit ridiculous here but would be interested to hear others thoughts...

OP posts:
Emeraldshamrock · 06/12/2020 12:48

This is the Mumsnet version of fanny gallops I was going to use fanny gallops. Grin

MilerVino · 06/12/2020 12:48

I didn't say it out loud as it would've been disrespectful towards my dh!

Well obviously ogling and saying 'phwoar look at that' is disrespectful, both to your partner and to the person you're ogling. But commenting on someone being attractive doesn't seem to me to be disrespectful per se. I love my OH and think he's gorgeous. But that doesn't make me blind to other men and he wouldn't expect that.

MacDuffsMuff · 06/12/2020 12:56

I was really hoping that this thread wouldn't descend into a bitch-fest of another woman's looks but lo and behold ...

Flibbertigibbet2211 · 06/12/2020 12:59

I think Amy's absolutely lovely-looking, beautiful if you like, and I particularly like what she wears on Strictly - very graceful and pretty. (Angelina Jolie's looks don't particularly appeal to me as an ideal - I don't mean she's not good-looking.)

Two things:

  1. I think it's different for your husband to observe "She's so beautiful" rather than "Phwoarrr" or whatever - more like aesthetic appreciation than outright lust. You're his partner, not Amy.

  2. Although I'd think twice about saying the equivalent about a man in front of my partner to spare his feelings, I do also think it's less hurtful and unthreatening to say it about someone on TV. I'd be a lot more hurt if he said it about my best friend!

ShirleyPhallus · 06/12/2020 13:42

@MacDuffsMuff

I was really hoping that this thread wouldn't descend into a bitch-fest of another woman's looks but lo and behold ...
Indeed. And LOL at all these women saying “I think she’s ugly, but I weigh 6 stone and am 6ft tall and am a model” as though that qualifies them somehow
picklemewalnuts · 06/12/2020 16:01

You'll never 'get' Amy's attraction from a still photo. She's one of those radiant from within people. She lights up the room.

As do several of the other dancers- they are all lovely in their own ways.

I don't think I could watch Strictly without thinking 'wow, she's gorgeous, ooh he's nice, flippin' heck look at them go, woah, look at that amazing dress!'. It's part of the whole event.

I actually can't stop looking at young hrvy and wondering if he's wearing eye make up. His eyes seem much darker than his overall colouring.

Workerbee80 · 06/12/2020 18:25

I also googled her and was slightly bemused as was expecting a real beauty. There's no doubt she's an attractive woman, but I would say her looks are ten a penny on a show like strictly.

Bloodypunkrockers · 06/12/2020 19:59

I'm watching her now. Stunning. I'd love to look like her

picklemewalnuts · 06/12/2020 20:10

Well she was very beautiful tonight. Adorable. What a lovely woman, inside and out.

laidbacklife · 06/12/2020 20:23

Is she beautiful? She wears a lot of make up. I wouldn’t say she’s a natural beauty. Perhaps it was just a throw away comment. Thoughtless perhaps but I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.

lioncitygirl · 06/12/2020 20:26

say the same back about a man on Tv and see if you get the same reaction - then pull him up on why he doesn't compliment you at all.

lioncitygirl · 06/12/2020 20:28

also - i dont actually find her that attractive Blush

Defenbaker · 06/12/2020 20:41

I think a still photograph of Amy doesn't do her justice - the way she moves and smiles adds to her appeal. It's true that she wears a lot of make up, so that helps, but she also has a very nice demeanour.

StCharlotte · 06/12/2020 20:54

@CarHire101

Very generic looking lady honestly standards of beauty for some women astound me!
Apart from her physical attractiveness, she is clearly an absolute sweetheart which, added to her good looks does make her very beautiful indeed.

A 2d Google thumbprint doesn't do her justice at all.

I have a massive girl crush on her and my DH is probably also sick of me banging on about her Grin

Butteredtoast55 · 06/12/2020 21:49

My DH thinks she's gorgeous but if he comments he then always adds
"Not as gorgeous as you" which is so patently and laughably untrue it just makes me snort.
I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like your DH is in with a chance with her! Grin

Trying2Heal · 07/12/2020 08:24

@katy1213

Just googled her out of curiosity as I'd never heard of her. She looks rather ordinary to me - certainly not beautiful - but she'd be much improved if she washed that orange stuff off her face.
@katy1213 Me too. She looks absolutely fine but I'm a bit confused by all the "she's so beautiful" stuff.
AfterSchoolWorry · 07/12/2020 08:30

@katy1213

Just googled her out of curiosity as I'd never heard of her. She looks rather ordinary to me - certainly not beautiful - but she'd be much improved if she washed that orange stuff off her face.
Same.

I wouldn't give you tuppence for her.

MiniCooperLover · 07/12/2020 08:32

I think people now turning this into a critique of Amy are spectacularly missing the point. Would it have been ok if OP's husband had commented on someone's beauty only as long as you all agree the person is truly beautiful? Reading people talk her down and 'she's not all that' is so depressing ... it was one comment, one comment the OP blew out of proportion due to her insecurity and now it's a 'hmm I googled her and she's ok,ish' type thread 🤦‍♀️

Calmandmeasured1 · 07/12/2020 08:53

Amy did look so beautiful on Saturday that even I blurted that out. I'd prefer a husband that openly said things like this than one who just thought it and kept it to himself. I don't mean all the time or about people in everyday life but just when it comes to watching 'Strictly'. I like to critique the outfits, routines and make-up whether awful or beautiful. It isn't a personal slight for your DH to say this.

Familiarity and the daily drudgery can get in the way. Why not just talk to your DH and tell him that there was a time when he used to compliment you and ask why he doesn't anymore? Do you still compliment him?

Faultymain5 · 07/12/2020 08:57

Just to take this conversation even further away from the OP. Saying you do not think AD is 'beautiful'. Is not bitchy. It is an opinion. An opinion you could keep to yourself, but this is MN which is an opinion forum. A PP earlier said she doesn't understand how people don't fancy Tom Hardy. I don't understand how people do. I'm not tearing Tom Hardy down by saying that, I'm disagreeing because I do not find him attractice.

We all think differently as to what we find attractive (thank the gods), it's okay to voice that even whilst telling OP to let her DH know she wasn't happy about the comment. Though I think we can deduce it's not the comment so much it's the lack of comment in OP's direction and it doesn't matter if we think that's immature. Her feelings are valid because that's how she feels.

GroundAlmonds · 07/12/2020 08:58

Same.

I wouldn't give you tuppence for her

That is a disgusting way to talk about a woman and completely beside OP’s point.

The support of misogynistic beauty standards on this thread is unreal, and no amount of trashing blameless women for their physical appearance will help OP, because she was taken relationship advice.

Sheesh.

ShirleyPhallus · 07/12/2020 09:09

It was me who said this thread was bitchy.

There is a huge difference beteeen saying:
“She’s clearly pretty but personally I don’t find her too attractive”
And
“There’s nothing special about her / I wouldn’t give you tuppence for her” which is clearly bitchy

Plonque · 07/12/2020 09:19

This thread is still running? Confused I saw it at the very beginning and the first two "she's nothing special" comments were enough, how lovely to see so many other cunts posters have arrived.

slashlover · 07/12/2020 09:42

I love MN sometimes, currently active is this thread which thinks that calling another woman beautiful is disgraceful and disrespectful and then this Which crush would you still shag? thread.

OneTC · 07/12/2020 09:49

Loving all the posters saying she's plain Grin

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