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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?

407 replies

BecomeStronger · 05/12/2020 20:47

E.g Claudia's style looks far more modern than Tess'. I love the way young women will wear flats or even trainers and be comfortable rather than dressing for men.

OP posts:
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17
AccidentallyOnPurpose · 06/12/2020 22:43

@BecomeStronger

Why is it dressing for men? If I go to a party, dress up glam in a dress, I do it for ME!

Would you do it for a girly night out with women only friends?

Yes. It's the only time I do it actually. Also the only time I wear makeup. I only go on a night out with female friends anyways, one of them might bring their partner or whatever but it's mostly women.
yetanothernamitynamechange · 06/12/2020 22:58

@Changi . Thanks, its irrelevant now anyway because Im working from home (so I wear pencil skirts with slipper socks and dressing gown) but its odd that this is the one thing that bothers me (I dont care if people think I look old etc).
I was thinking on this further however and one of my (male) boses dresses up much more formally than most of the other men - in a fitted suit every day with shiny shoes. I just assumed he likes dressing that way. I never once thought he was doing it for "female attention" or to "look sexy". The same for the (male) colleague who goes running at lunchtime in short shorts and a tight fitting top if its hot. So I guess if they can wear what they want...

movingonup20 · 06/12/2020 22:58

The important thing is to wear what you want to wear, eg flats or heels is a personal preference thing. I like dresses, another likes trousers

pellegrini · 06/12/2020 23:00

I wish I could dress how I wanted to

movingonup20 · 06/12/2020 23:01

Ps my dd has my old dm's, a couple of shirts and a few other bits from the early 90's and looks too like me! Everything goes around

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 06/12/2020 23:05

Oh and I have never worn stilettos in my life. I did buy a pair once but my mum made so many comments about how i was so fat I would break the heel, I never actually dared to wear them and just gave them to a friend.

Thereluctantstepmother · 06/12/2020 23:22

I agree OP.
Short skirts, cleavage, high heels, make up, nails, shiny everything looks very old fashioned now.

roastedsaltedpeanut · 06/12/2020 23:25

I was always under the impression that women dress to impress other women. Men’s admiration is just a happy by-product, nowhere near top priority. Why else would women compete with louboutin heels and Hermes bags when men have absolutely no idea what they are? I spend a considerable amount of time planning my outfit for night out with girls. After all they have the ability to truly appreciate my efforts and taste, or mock me ruthlessly if I screw up lol. Men don’t care what I wear...at all. Some can barely tell if I am wearing make up.
Also what’s wrong with pencil skirt? Since when has it become old fashioned? Last time I checked it is the pinnacle of fashion. Narrow waist is all the rage and what’s better than pencil skirt to show that off?

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 06/12/2020 23:33

Old fashioned? Really?

To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?
To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?
To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?
AliceMck · 06/12/2020 23:34

YABU to think women dress for men.

I've only ever dressed for myself, I always felt more body confident in "sexy" style clothes as they suit my body type and make me feel nice. I've lived out if jeans & trainers for years since I became a SAHM and to be honest I hate it, I'd much prefer nice clothes & heels (I'm short), but I'm a pragmatist and my clothes end up in some kind if crap, whether litterall or not, most days, so I live out of casual clothes. I really miss dressing for work, even more for spontaneous after work drinks 😆

I think it's very sad that the days of both men & women dressing up and making an effort are gone.

naughtyelfs · 06/12/2020 23:56

Also what’s wrong with pencil skirt? Since when has it become old fashioned? Last time I checked it is the pinnacle of fashion.

Come on it's 2020, pencil skirts are not the pinnacle of fashion!

iswhois · 07/12/2020 00:38

@roastedsaltedpeanut 100%

Why would we spend £40 on a lipstick for a man who doesn't know whether it's pink or red (my DH!)?!?!

MrsToothyBitch · 07/12/2020 00:54

I am the only woman where I work. Other than purposely looking extra smart for events, I dress how I want to dress for work. Sometimes I look a million dollars, sometimes I look a bit scruffy. Same as I did when I worked with an all female team. Depends what I'm doing and how I feel. I dress to make myself feel good.

I do have very big boobs though. You can't miss them and I'm sure some of my outfits go down better than others, off the record!

MacDuffsMuff · 07/12/2020 03:38

It's pretty sad that some women really seem to have a problem with other women wearing heels/skirts/whatever. So much so that, because they don't like the look or wear it themselves, they actually accuse them of lying about their reasons for dressing the way they choose. Their snide little digs really highlight these people.

I'm usually in trousers and flats because it's my preference but it's 2020, women should be able to wear what the fuck they like without other women actually telling them that they're obviously dressing that way to snare a bloody man.. No one has to 'admit' or 'own' anything to anyone. Women berating other women for this is fucking awful and some of the posters on this thread need to do better.

VinylDetective · 07/12/2020 04:13

It’s a thousand pities you mentioned dressing for men, OP. It turned what might have been an interesting thread about current fashion and its semiotics into a real bunfight.

For what it’s worth I think the bodycon, high heels look does look pretty dated. It’s interesting that Nicola Sturgeon has been mentioned because every time I see her I think how dated she looks. It’s an observation, not a criticism.

Obviously anyone can dress however they like but equally obviously people will have an opinion on it. You can have one of those without judging.

Graciebobcat · 07/12/2020 04:32

Absolutely agree, OP.

Disagree on Nicola Sturgeon though, she is trying to dress so that people comment on her work, not how she looks. She isn't attempting to be a style icon. She looks neat and tidy and that's all that matters.

takingwhatineed · 07/12/2020 04:42

Ouch, some of the comments on here are painful to read. Wear what you want to wear. If that's bodycons and heels or jeans and trainers so be it. There is nothing wrong with looking sexy or wanting to look sexy, equally there's nothing wrong with wearing something more causal. You do you.

HomeSliceKnowsBest · 07/12/2020 05:08

As a short 40+ woman I'd 'dress up' if ever I get to go out again in this lifetime, heels, dress, or boot cut Jean's, heels and a nice top.
I wouldn't care if i look 'dated' and 40+ nor would I care what 'men' think.
I am not 21, nor do i wish to be or to dress as though i am Confused.

HomeSliceKnowsBest · 07/12/2020 05:12

PS. There was a meme a while a go, 'what should a .... (insert own descriptor re age/weight etc woman wear?'
'Whatever the fuck she wants' was the answer to each and every descriptor.

berrygirlie · 07/12/2020 07:16

That reminds me of this thing @HomeSliceKnowsBest

To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?
justanotherneighinparadise · 07/12/2020 07:22

I did see an old fashioned look recently that probably fits what you’re talking about. Lady in her 50s with knee high boots and an over the knee skirt. It just didn’t look right on the eye. I tend to team my knee high boots with a long enough skirt to cover the tops of them.

I’m imagining on a teen it would look bloody fantastic, but sadly on an older woman I just looked a bit cheap 🥴

MsSquiz · 07/12/2020 07:23

Whenever I go for a night out, I always wear heels, do my make up and get my hair done - it makes me feel good and is certainly not for the attention of men.

I wear make up if I leave the house - again, this is for my benefit and how I feel.
I've worn heels since I was 15 because I love them & feel comfortable in them.

Even when going out for dinner with my best (female) friend, my standard outfit would be jeans, shirt and high heels. And on a normal daily basis, I wear boots with a 3 inch heel.

I really don't need another female judging the way I look or dress, and presuming it is for male attention

Ifailed · 07/12/2020 07:37

what should a .... (insert own descriptor re age/weight etc woman wear?'
'Whatever the fuck she wants' was the answer to each and every descriptor.

True, if she doesn't want to cause any offence. However in most parts of the UK it would be "wrong" to turn up in a white dress at another woman's wedding, or topless at a funeral.
Problem is, once you accept that there are some rules then people will start judging others on their appearance.
It's not as binary as some would suggest.

emilybrontescorsett · 07/12/2020 07:44

Well my experience of being harassed by men and that of my dds is that it’s when we are dressed down or dowdy (insert whatever word you like). We have all been verbally assaulted, myself physically, whilst wearing anything other than ‘sexy’ ‘provocative’ clothing. I was wearing baggy jeans, flat shoes, no make up, a lose fitting jumper and had short frizzy hair at the time. I still remember it now and hope the ring leader is fucking dead or seriously ill.
When ever I’m dressed in heels,make up, tighter, shorter, low cut or what ever is supposed to be for the male gaze I’m left alone. I think it’s about empowerment. Maybe some dick head men leave you alone if they think you look confident or too much to handle.