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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?

407 replies

BecomeStronger · 05/12/2020 20:47

E.g Claudia's style looks far more modern than Tess'. I love the way young women will wear flats or even trainers and be comfortable rather than dressing for men.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
naughtyelfs · 06/12/2020 21:18

But isn't the idea that sexy = provocative & risqué rather old fashioned? I thought that was the OPs point.
I think the sexy dress is the backless one & the other one is awful & dated.

To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?
To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?
naughtyelfs · 06/12/2020 21:22

I think try-too-hard dressing is old fashioned.

Agree.

Zerrin13 · 06/12/2020 21:22

The 80's were my heyday and I definitely dressed to attract male attention! Sky high stilettos, dresses that looked as if they had been sprayed on, lots of make up. Young woman have done this for decades. Think back to the sixties. Loads of makeup and false eyelashes, big hair, skirts the size of flannels. Its completely normal for young women to attract men through their appearance. I found dressing up great fun when I was young. Now I'm 55 and can't be bothered with wearing anything remotely uncomfortable! My favourite footwear is slippers!

berrygirlie · 06/12/2020 21:26

But isn't the idea that sexy = provocative & risqué rather old fashioned

Maybe that was the OP's intention - however I think it would have been less judgemental to say specifically "I don't think you have to be provocative in order to be sexy" (which I would agree with) rather than bringing in the judgemental association of women who dress provocatively being the ones to "dress for men". I'm additionally commenting on follow-up posts as well as the OP, given that she's only posted a handful of times on this thread of 10 pages (and I think other posters were actively saying things to be nasty e.g. the comments about transmen and desperate women).

berrygirlie · 06/12/2020 21:30

Apologies **transwomen, hope you understand what I meant

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 06/12/2020 21:31

I can't remember the last time l wore heels and l'm middle aged so it's not a young person thing.

But does dressing overtly sexy look dated..l think l agree with that. I don't agree with it being for men, womens attitudes to themselves has changed so much. I think it probably was for men in past years though.

Janegrey333 · 06/12/2020 21:32

@GreenlandTheMovie

I think try-too-hard dressing is old fashioned. Materials, cut, finish have all changed since that very obviously trying-to-be-sexy look was all you would see in magazines, and that seems favoured by Americans still.
I agree. It’s overkill and consequently rarely achieves the desired effect.
yetanothernamitynamechange · 06/12/2020 21:32

I cringed a bit reading this, because I am early thirties and (pre-covid) would wear pencil skirts/tailored dresses into the office, sometimes with heels. I started dressing like that over ten years ago and once I'd developed my style kept it because it was easier. Some of the clothes I have are 10 years old and they still fit me and are in good condition so it feels better to keep wearing them than throw them away and buy a load of new clothes. I dont actually mind if people think Im old fashioned, I am quite happy to channel a sort of 40s vibe, and one of the coolest women I know used to dress up in full 50s garb circle skirts and all just for the hell. But I am worrying people will have thought I was trying (and failing) to dress "sexy" and to attract the male gaze, because that certainly wasn't my intention :(

Janegrey333 · 06/12/2020 21:33

Trans men comments are not acceptable.

yetanothernamitynamechange · 06/12/2020 21:34

I also think if you are dressing for the male gaze then yoga pants (more modern and informal) do basically the same thing to your bum as pencil skirts (old fashioned and formal). So I am not sure it has changed that much...

naughtyelfs · 06/12/2020 21:35

Trans men comments are not acceptable.

I agree with that

Janegrey333 · 06/12/2020 21:36

@naughtyelfs

But isn't the idea that sexy = provocative & risqué rather old fashioned? I thought that was the OPs point. I think the sexy dress is the backless one & the other one is awful & dated.
The see through “dress” is an embarrassment.
firesong · 06/12/2020 21:44

It's funny when people mention comfort, as we all find different things comfortable as well. Like, to me, high waisted jeans are the height of discomfort. I'm quite thin but just hate the feel of a jeans waistband. Whereas a dress, especially a jumper dress, feels so comfy!

I don't mind what other people wear, it's good seeing all the different styles.

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 06/12/2020 21:49

This famous woman always wears heels, tailored form fitting clothes and make up, so I presume she is desperate, insecure, tragic and only doing it to attract men.

To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?
To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?
To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?
Changi · 06/12/2020 22:05

But I am worrying people will have thought I was trying (and failing) to dress "sexy" and to attract the male gaze, because that certainly wasn't my intention Sad

You need to put those thoughts out of your head. Otherwise, the frumps win.

Gwenhwyfar · 06/12/2020 22:08

@ZaraCarmichaelshighheels

This famous woman always wears heels, tailored form fitting clothes and make up, so I presume she is desperate, insecure, tragic and only doing it to attract men.
She doesn't wear 'sexy' clothes though, does she? The dress is to the knee, not revealing, etc.
naughtyelfs · 06/12/2020 22:13

Do people think Nicola Sturgeon is dressing overtly sexy?

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 06/12/2020 22:13

I think FM looks very understated and composed. Love her heels, she rocks them

naughtyelfs · 06/12/2020 22:13

That's smart & professional to me.

HeadNorth · 06/12/2020 22:14

I don't really think of Nicola Sturgeon as a style icon to be honest Grin To be fair, she is a politician and First Minister and should be judged on that.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 06/12/2020 22:16

FM always looks smart, it’s all the Pippa Dee outfits that she buys with the ménage money

GreenlandTheMovie · 06/12/2020 22:20

Do people think Nicola Sturgeon is dressing overtly sexy?

No, she looks smart and it might be that slightly more casual dressing might not suit her figure and she wouldn't look so smart.

I do find her look quite old fashioned though, and I look forward to the day when women in Scotland appearing on national tv etc can wear loose fitting trousers and flat shoes. I honestly hate those heels that NS wears and I feel so sad for her tiptoeing across the stage in them.

berrygirlie · 06/12/2020 22:21

It just reminds me of this article to some extent. No male polticians are reported to be "out-broguing" each other, for example.

To think overtly sexy dressing looks very old fashioned?
berrygirlie · 06/12/2020 22:24

(at least to the same extent that I've seen anyway)

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 06/12/2020 22:24

Christ I know! The dm banging on about shoes
I think Ms Sturgeon is a great FM I’m a fan