Delivery guy told DS he’d get fat.

[christmastime4120]

Hi all, had a food delivery this afternoon. Not in bags so all in the crates. DS spotted the chocolate I had bought him for a treat and grabbed it out when I was bringing it all in (he should have waited admittedly) but it’s been a poop day and he seen the chocolate.

DS asked if he could have it now. Driver said you’ll get really fat if you eat too much of that.

Driver is not wrong that if you eat too much chocolate you’ll get fat ^ but was it his place to say?

To clarify DS is pretty slim, very active. Doesn’t really have any other sugar other than a chocolate treat - he doesn’t like sweets or fizzy drinks. Even if he did. Surely a treat is a treat right?

So DS then said he didn’t want it as he’d get fat. I am sure the driver had no ill intentions and meant it in a nice way but just find it a bit annoying tbh

He then went onto say at least you haven’t ordered any fizzy drink with it and proceeded to say that the amount of dizzy drinks some people
Order in one shop is crazy.

Is it his place to judge though? I get my shopping delivered every week and they are all lovely usually...

Aibu to think it really wasn’t needed?

Oh don’t be so precious!

Driver said your son will get far if he eats too much of that. Well, he will. So - what’s the problem with him taking everything literally? Because the driver was literally correct. So just talk to your son about what “too much” is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Op you're def not being unreasonable, I'd of been pissed off by that comment as well. My dd also has ASD and is battling an eating disorder at the moment and a throw away comment such as that would be a disaster for her.

@MellowBird85

Agree with *@LadyCottingham*.

Seriously, is this where we’re at now. Walking on ridiculous eggshells around each other. Let’s just all take a vow of silence so we don’t accidentally offend anyone 🙄

Whilst also commenting to anyone who'll listen, about how much more child friendly other countries are...

This reminds me of when I was eating chips after a night out and a man shouted from across the street "it will go straight to your hips!" I think such thoughts are best kept in one's head. I don't understand all the hate on this thread op. It's not like you are putting in a complaint. Why should you mention in your op that your son has autism. The delivery man is clearly judging people's shopping and commenting on it. I don't see why people want to defend that.

Use it as a discussion point with your son (I don’t think you’ve said how old he is?) especially if he takes things literally. Help explain the semantics of what the man said.
Son: “I don’t want any of that chocolate now, the nasty man said I’ll get fat if I eat too much”
OP: “Oh yes he did say that, didn’t he? How much do you think would be too much?
Son: “Erm...”
OP: “What about... 50 bars a day!? Wouldn’t that be too much? Ha ha ha”
Son: “Ha ha yes, that would be too much”
OP: “So what would be an ok amount to enjoy as a treat? How about one bar now and maybe another later in the week?”
Son “Yes, that’s not too much!”

The driver was not incorrect but why are you so bothered about what other people think?

It was a stupid, thoughtless thing to say. It's not his place to tell anyone, especially a child, that they'll get fat if they eat chocolate or drink fizzy drinks.

It's perfectly possible to make small talk, be chatty, whatever, without making negative, rude statements about people's orders, including the other people he delivers to!

I wouldn't bother doing or saying anything about it, but I wouldn't like it. As far as your son goes, you'll just have to explain that it's perfectly fine to eat treats in moderation. People say all sorts of things, but that doesn't mean they're correct or that we have to care what they think.

Stupid thing to say. Shouldn't have said if. If he is trying to interact with a child he is failing dismally. Poor kid. Listened to something an adult said and reacted to it and then is criticised.

Oh dear, my mums always saying to my kids if they eat too many cakes they will get fat. It’s just a comment, I’m sure he wasn’t trying to upset anyone!

I’m sorry that happened, and I agree that people’s responses would likely be different if this was said and upset a young girl. I hope you were able to reassure your son that the driver was incorrect - a sensible portion of chocolate isn’t going to make your son ‘fat’ ... I know it’s just a clumsy comment but it was (mildly) out of line and an autistic boy got unnerved - I’m surprise that more posters don’t have sympathy for the kid. I know i can feel slightly put out when people make thoughtless comments but I’m sure with your help your son will get better at letting things slide as he gets older and more experienced in life.

I don't understand all the people acting like it's an overreaction to be annoyed by annoying behaviour. It was an unnecessary, judgmental comment. Would you think it's ok to walk up to someone smoking and tell them that smoking causes cancer? Do you tell drinkers that it can cause liver damage?

Some things are none of our business. This was an example of that. Delivery guy should've kept the conversation light and left the parenting to the OP.

I'm not usually be one to get offended and complain. But I think this was highly innaproptiate. Commenting on others shopping is not ok. Yeah, if I'm feeling generous I could take the chocolate comment as awkward small talk (which I'm.not sure it was) but continuing with the comments how it's good that no fizzy drinks brought this to new level. I honestly might make a complaint with no need for a result but just a reminder that there is no need to comment anyhting. Maybe I am a snowflake but I don't appreciate these types of comments.

Talk to your kid and explain that it is only if you eat too much and that he is fine.

SickToDeathOfThis the driver wasn't incorrect.

He literally said "If you eat too much", not "If you eat a sensible portion".

And as the OP's DS takes things literally, it shouldn't be hard to explain.

@Rewis

I'm not usually be one to get offended and complain. But I think this was highly innaproptiate. Commenting on others shopping is not ok. Yeah, if I'm feeling generous I could take the chocolate comment as awkward small talk (which I'm.not sure it was) but continuing with the comments how it's good that no fizzy drinks brought this to new level. I honestly might make a complaint with no need for a result but just a reminder that there is no need to comment anyhting. Maybe I am a snowflake but I don't appreciate these types of comments.

Talk to your kid and explain that it is only if you eat too much and that he is fine.

A complaint? Seriously? The OP could have said something at the time if she was that bothered.

Bloody hell, he wasn't judging anyone. He was trying to make a jokey comment to a young stranger. It's very hard to talk to children you don't know, but he's human so he wanted to.

Just wondering, how would people feel if a delivery driver decided to make 'small talk' about sanitary towels or whatever in the shopping? I bet that wouldn't be too well received. Their job is to deliver shopping, not provide a running commentary on what you buy.

There are some sensitive souls on MN.
Delivery man makes a clumsy attempt at conversation. He doesn't know your son has autism and takes things literally, but fortunately you do. I'm sure you responded, "Ah, buy my son has chocolate as a rare treat and he does loads of exercise, so he'll never get fat!" Job done.

@christmastime4120

Just to add my son has additional needs so he takes things very literal.

But the friendly delivery man didn't know that. He was trying to interact in a jokey way, which was actually quite sweet of him.

If people stopped chatting and joking with strangers just in case the person they were talking to had invisible additional needs, the world would be a very much sadder place.
And I spent my entire career working with such children, so I understand the problem. But as teacher/parent we have to guide those children through such things, not blame people for interacting with them in friendly way. They can't read the mind of your child.

No doubt next week there will be someone on here complaining because their delivery driver is grumpy and doesn't engage in small talk. The drivers can't win.

you cannot protect or censor everything your son might hear.
he will not always be in your company. i can understand your concern but you have to let him grow up and cope with thing in his own way. if he asks you about it, then you can explain, but you cannot cocoon him. and if you did, he would get an enormous shock when you weren't there to do so.

Just wondering, how would people feel if a delivery driver decided to make 'small talk' about sanitary towels or whatever in the shopping?

I'm just wondering what the weather's like in Peru?

The comment about getting fat then the comments about fizzy drinks were inappropriate, I'd be making a complaint to his face at the time. It's as bad as the delivery driver who turned up early and was waiting when I got back from the school running saying I thought you were still in bed, it is judging, it isn't just idle chit chat

@Rosebel

No doubt next week there will be someone on here complaining because their delivery driver is grumpy and doesn't engage in small talk. The drivers can't win.

Yes and how unfriendly the UK is towards children.

Please do complain to head office because clearly all deliveries should be made in masked silence with no social interaction at all. There is a pandemic of people waiting to take offence at anything and nothing.
(I do hope that your delivery note included your preferred pronouns and those of your son and the delivery driver to avoid confusion.)

Oh ffs is nothing too bloody trivial for MN ? Yes he spoke out of turn, probably unthinkingly. Phone up side get him sacked before Christmas for trying to pas ime with customers.