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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Delivery guy told DS he’d get fat.

158 replies

christmastime4120 · 05/12/2020 17:28

Hi all, had a food delivery this afternoon. Not in bags so all in the crates. DS spotted the chocolate I had bought him for a treat and grabbed it out when I was bringing it all in (he should have waited admittedly) but it’s been a poop day and he seen the chocolate.

DS asked if he could have it now. Driver said you’ll get really fat if you eat too much of that.

Driver is not wrong that if you eat too much chocolate you’ll get fat ^ but was it his place to say?

To clarify DS is pretty slim, very active. Doesn’t really have any other sugar other than a chocolate treat - he doesn’t like sweets or fizzy drinks. Even if he did. Surely a treat is a treat right?

So DS then said he didn’t want it as he’d get fat. I am sure the driver had no ill intentions and meant it in a nice way but just find it a bit annoying tbh

He then went onto say at least you haven’t ordered any fizzy drink with it and proceeded to say that the amount of dizzy drinks some people
Order in one shop is crazy.

Is it his place to judge though? I get my shopping delivered every week and they are all lovely usually...

Aibu to think it really wasn’t needed?

OP posts:
Sally872 · 05/12/2020 17:42

Unnecessary comments by driver but not that bad. I would be more concerned by ds's reaction.

CtrlU · 05/12/2020 17:43

I am 😉

Mamette · 05/12/2020 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

FedUpWithBriiiiick · 05/12/2020 17:43

OP YABU, just let it go and reassure your son.

CtrlU · 05/12/2020 17:44

Absolutely

And they go by the name of @Mamette

ilovesooty · 05/12/2020 17:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

WorraLiberty · 05/12/2020 17:45

@Nubbin

I'd worry about your DS's resilience more than the delivery man if he took the comment that much to heart and wouldn't eat the chocolate. Does he react the same to everything an adult says? Your face will stick that way etc....
This x10000 ^^

I'm surprised anyone who works with the public feels able to open their mouths anymore.

ilovesooty · 05/12/2020 17:46

@HappyChristmasTreeRex

He wasnt judging, he was being friendly.
Exactly. Small talk. Poor bloke.
Original poster
christmastime4120 · 05/12/2020 17:46

I’m not overly offended. I’m not going to complain or anything but DS has autism and really takes things literally. I know the driver didn’t know that (well it could be on their notes because I get it delivered weekly even before covid and every driver would know DS would insist on signing the pad and they would let him do it).

Anyway, I just can’t help think if I was shopping in store and someone made the same comment to an adult?

OP posts:
Fandantastic · 05/12/2020 17:49

Ahh I get it, some people are dicks. I remember someone commenting on my collection of snacks in a garage and how unhealthy they were, as he walked out having bought a packet of cigarettes.

Chat to your son about how some people have issues and put it onto other people, chat about balanced diets (you probably already do). And then shrug it off.

HalfTermHalfTerm · 05/12/2020 17:49

I wouldn’t have been hugely impressed either. I’m quite surprised by the number of responses from people saying that they wouldn’t have been bothered... I generally think the majority of people on here seem a bit over protective!

I imagine the responses would have been a bit different if your child had been a girl though.

AmyDudley · 05/12/2020 17:50

If your DS takes things literally. then I would go back to what the driver literally said 'you 'll get fat if you eat too much of that' so you tell your DS, that it's fine because he won;t be eating too much of it, a normal amount of chocolate is fine for a treat to be enjoyed, too much would be eating chocolate ten times a day as well as your usual food.
Good chance to talk about how nice things are lovely in moderation, but nothing is good if you eat 'too much' of it - that's why we just buy one bar and it is a treat to enjoy sometimes not a staple part of our diet.

LadyCottingham · 05/12/2020 17:51

@christmastime4120

Just to add my son has additional needs so he takes things very literal.

Perhaps lock him in a cupboard then in case anyone ever accidentally makes small talk. Someone might say 'morning' after the stroke of midday or say 'looks like rain' and then it snows.

The top and bottom of it is that we just can't as a society be constantly criticising and looking for offence in what other people say to us. It's no way to live and it's a slippery slope to a situation where people are constantly walking on eggshells.

WorraLiberty · 05/12/2020 17:53

Anyway, I just can’t help think if I was shopping in store and someone made the same comment to an adult?

Stop trying to make this into something it wasn't.

It was a brief, friendly interaction with a child.

Oh and if his Autism is the problem, perhaps you should've mentioned that in your OP except you were too busy telling us how slim and active he is and the fact he doesn't like sweets and fizzy drinks. 🙄

AcornAutumn · 05/12/2020 17:54

“ He then went onto say at least you haven’t ordered any fizzy drink with it and proceeded to say that the amount of dizzy drinks some people
Order in one shop is crazy. ”

What an arse. I do this because it means I’m sorted for me, mum, guests, and don’t have to carry it plus can meet minimum order.

BlueCheckedTeatowel · 05/12/2020 17:55

he was probably just making a jokey chat. i wouldnt think twice about it and maybe use it as a learning tool to teach DS that "off the cuff jokey comments" can bother some people

KyraGoose · 05/12/2020 17:55

He was just making conversation.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/12/2020 17:55

I know the driver didn’t know that (well it could be on their notes because I get it delivered weekly even before covid and every driver would know DS would insist on signing the pad and they would let him do it).

It really can't. Drivers really can't go and randomly diagnose people and put it on "notes".

AmyDudley · 05/12/2020 17:56

Being protective of your child includes helping them learn to process 'shit other people say' because people will always say stupid stuff that they may find hurtful. Going all out to comfort them and say 'what a terrible thing has just happened, a total stranger said something silly' lets all weep and wail, doesn't help kids at all.
Help them think things through so they can deal with things for what they are - the opinion of one person who is totally insignificant in their lives and they will probably never see again.

Original poster
christmastime4120 · 05/12/2020 17:56

@AcornAutumn absolutely no one should judge! I get concerned people would judge me for my shop. It’s not terrible but could be healthier! My hubby is on nights all week so my shop was full of ready meals for him to eat dinner at work and unhealthy snacks to get him through 🤣🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
MellowBird85 · 05/12/2020 17:57

Agree with @LadyCottingham.

Seriously, is this where we’re at now. Walking on ridiculous eggshells around each other. Let’s just all take a vow of silence so we don’t accidentally offend anyone 🙄

Changethetoner · 05/12/2020 17:57

It's good experience for your son to learn small talk. To learn that it is nonsense and irrelevant and just a social convention. the man was talking about his work -delivering stuff. It's not interesting or exciting.

this is not an issue. really,

FestiveChristmasLights · 05/12/2020 17:57

@christmastime4120

I’m not overly offended. I’m not going to complain or anything but DS has autism and really takes things literally. I know the driver didn’t know that (well it could be on their notes because I get it delivered weekly even before covid and every driver would know DS would insist on signing the pad and they would let him do it).

Anyway, I just can’t help think if I was shopping in store and someone made the same comment to an adult?

Considering your son is old enough to understand what is said and it’s meaning, I’m going to assume you’ve had a few years of similar literal meaning situations and should have a way of dealing with it by now. If you don’t, you really need to.
LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 05/12/2020 17:58

He was quite juddgey, yes. But also you are BU for getting annoyed about it.

Smellbellina · 05/12/2020 17:59

I think you need to stop sweating the small stuff