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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have judged? Awh feckit. Yes I judged, I VERY judged.

317 replies

Farkinell · 03/12/2020 21:52

Was in slow moving traffic today.

Big fuck off black BMW (suv/mpv/hpv??? who the eff knows) was coming towards me on other side of road.

Saw what I thought was a TV monitor in front passenger seat angled forwards.

Strange, I thought. Surely a passenger would be holding it and it would be facing backwards??

But LO! It was angled towards the passenger. Confused

A teeny baby in the carry part of travel system, backwards facing.

A tablet set up, plating a cartoon for a young baby to watch in the car.

Just

Goodness

Gracious.

Let's get them Oblong Addicted early, yeah?

OP posts:
Worried234 · 04/12/2020 07:52

OP, you really are hilarious.

AwkwardAsAllGetout · 04/12/2020 07:53

I had (have) a baby who screamed blue murder in the car which made driving almost impossible. We found out putting hairdryer sounds on YouTube stopped her crying immediately. If I’d been able to rig her up a screen then you’d better believe I’d have done it. I was a wreck for a good year because of the screaming.

IAmcuriousyellow · 04/12/2020 07:55

I’d have judged that too! Reminds me of that movie Wall-E

Ironingontheceiling · 04/12/2020 07:55

I’m actually getting the anxious pit of my stomach feeling now even thinking about it and she’s 21 now. So it’s been a while. It was awful. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It makes socialising so so difficult.

On top of other stuff it just meant I couldn’t go anywhere that wasn’t walking distance. She screamed even in the pram.

She was a very unhappy baby and screamed a lot. She didn’t sleep. She had very very severe reflux. Had to be weaned early because failure to thrive.

I would have done anything to stop her screaming.

pastandpresent · 04/12/2020 08:04

You know, screen do have positive effect as well as negative effect?
Mine learned to read by watching tv with subtitles. Way before school age.

TruculentandFarty · 04/12/2020 08:05

@ironingontheceiling, mine is 20 and this takes me back to a really difficult time too. Mine screamed in the buggy too. I tried everything I could think of.

I had a four year old as well and he was bored and very active and he needed to go out and do stuff. It made life so miserable. One of my best friends drove me a bunch so I could sit in the back seat with DS#2, it only helped somewhat.

Cam77 · 04/12/2020 08:10

There seems to be this strange notion that half an hour screen time for a 6 month old is poison while 2-3 hours for a 6 year old is no big deal. From what I can tell it’s bullshit and built on prejudice rather than any hard evidence.

Angel2702 · 04/12/2020 08:12

Having had two kids that screamed non stop and made themselves sick in the car, I only wish I’d had this option. Far safer to drive if they are happy and I’d prefer a screen on occasion rather than flooding their brain with stress hormones through screaming.

Cam77 · 04/12/2020 08:12

Don’t see the problem in little kids watching cartoons through whatever medium, long as they’re not straining their eyes. They’ve always done it. Far more concerning is how they start getting hooked on apps and then spend their teenage years subsumed for hours each day on “social” media, wasting their formative years so that Zuckerberg and co can make a fortune.

MerryChristmas9792 · 04/12/2020 08:14

This is very judgemental tbh. Maybe they don’t like the car much? Maybe a cartoon is keeping them quiet rather than screaming? Which is safer all around. Sounds like a good idea to me!

I’ve had 2 opposites. DS who always loved the car. Dd who absolutely bleddy hated it!

Notonthestairs · 04/12/2020 08:18

First child loved the car seat - would fall asleep instantly.
Second child (later diagnosed with ASD & LD) screamed blue murder - particularly if I had to stop at traffic lights. She would trigger child 1.

I have vivid memories of a disastrous drive through roadworks in south London when at one point where all 3 of us were crying. Dreaded using the car.

Hardbackwriter · 04/12/2020 08:24

We tried this (and a million other things) when I was desperately trying to keep DS rear-facing. It didn't work, and we ended up turning him round at 18 months and he's been happy in the car ever since with nothing but me talking and singing to him, which means the screen haters can't judge me but don't worry, the extended rear facers still can!

1stDecember · 04/12/2020 08:24

OP you know nothing about the circumstances.

I do hope that, one day, someone will be judging you this hard when your childrearing ways are deemed suboptimal Hmm

yetanothernamitynamechange · 04/12/2020 08:26

I hate using screens with very young children as a general rule. If it is a substitute for the parent interacting with the child it can be bery damaging and also just sad (babies are difficult but you would miss so much of those little moments, singing while changing a nappy and they laught at you etc). But driving is one of those moments where you should NOT be interacting with the baby. Its up to the parent if they want to leave the child to scream, or let them watch the i-pad but I don't think it does any harm to choose the second option. As for how people coped before they had screens? I guess if the baby was going to scream in the car it screamed in the car. Not harmful but not an essential childhood experience either.

DoTheNextRightThing · 04/12/2020 08:27

You're being a bit ridiculous here. It's not as if the baby is using the tablet to scroll Facebook. It's just there to provide sound and colour instead of a blank seat. Let people parent their own way.

As to the whole front seat issue PP have raised, I take your point - but if my mum had put me in the backseat when I was a baby, I would be dead right now because someone rear ended our car and totalled the entire back seat when I was only a few months old. Life in a car is unpredictable.

Hardbackwriter · 04/12/2020 08:28

Also, while obviously there weren't tablets, phones etc when I was a child, 30 years ago, I was half raised by the TV (and turned out fine!) so I don't really understand the horror about screens and 'modern parents'.

ApplesinmyPocket · 04/12/2020 08:33

"I think I'll try to widen my mind before being an arrant arse again."

Good for OP, having a rethink. My kids are adult now and there weren't screens when they were small, but oh! did I dread the daily 45 mins in rush-hour traffic to collect older DD from secondary school, with difficult, wriggly, shouty DD2 in her car-seat. You BET I'd have taken the screens option had it been available (for some reason DD2 hated TV and wouldn't settle to it, preferring to hang round my legs and yell and be a general PITA, but that's by the by. She's lovely now, at 31!)

Biancadelrioisback · 04/12/2020 08:34

Just another thought, you have no idea if the person driving was the parent. My very inexperienced with kids brother would probably do something like this as he isn't used to driving with someone screaming in the car. It's different when it's your own baby but very very distracting if you're not used to it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 04/12/2020 08:38

I thought you were going to say that the driver was watching the film, that would have been dangerous, but it's not, it's the passenger.

Keep your eyes on your own driving, OP, you sound quite an easily distracted type. The type that causes accidents.

Do you feel better for posting about your petty little judgement, impotent and useless as it is?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 04/12/2020 08:41

Damn pages again... there's 2 and you've apologised so I'll retract my last sentence as its harsh in light of that.

SpanielSprint · 04/12/2020 08:49

I wonder whether some pps realise that the main reason screen time is not not recommended for under 2s (and limited thereafter) is because it can distract them from other activities that may be more beneficial to their development. In a modern rear-facing car seat baby generally cannot see out of a window, cannot move because they have to be strapped in so tightly and cannot see/interact with parent for safety reasons. Obviously there are some limited car toys you can get for this situation, and in a ideal world the baby would take their nap during longer car journeys, but the point is that you are really not depriving the baby of experiences by having a screen on for a bit during a journey.

Emmapeeler2 · 04/12/2020 08:53

I wouldn't judge, having spent many an unhappy hour in the car with a baby screaming blue murder.

burntpinky · 04/12/2020 09:06

Well I’ve just settled my 5 week old playing Guns n Roses (the slower songs) to him after no amount of cuddles, milk, rocking, shushing, jungle gym etc worked. Needs must. Letting him cry and produce all that Cortisol is much worse. Judge away.

Ilovesugar · 04/12/2020 09:21

I judge people that use iPads / phones in restaurants and can’t have normal conversations with their kids, so no I would have judged too! Maybe not what I would do but each to their own?!

HOkieCOkie · 04/12/2020 09:28

Judge away it’s ridiculous how kids can’t be bored anymore. Have to be constantly strapped into a tv or tablet.