To not share my Christmas bonus with my DP?

[Fressia123]

I'm the higher earner and don't keep any money to myself. This bonus was completely unexpected and feel like my either saving it or buying something for myself. Is that selfish?

Also will you actually get £500? I get big bonuses every year and once tax, NI and student loan have all taken their piece I’m lucky if I’m left with 50% of it

Keep it.

@tenbob

If this was reversed, and someone posted to say their DH spent his £500 bonus on himself without consultation, the screams of ‘LTB’ and ‘family money’ would be audible from space

This 👆

Jesus. My DH gets a six figure bonus annually which i never see. I'm doing something wrong (tho' he has never seen my rather more modest bonuses either)
(spend the £500)

Jesus. My DH gets a six figure bonus annually which i never see.

Am I missing something ? Surely the only reason the op is the "higher earner" is because she has £600 pcm income from a trust fund.

So she's already sacrificing a large amount of her personal funds every month to enable him to service his debts

@MatildaonaWaltzer

Jesus. My DH gets a six figure bonus annually which i never see. I'm doing something wrong (tho' he has never seen my rather more modest bonuses either) (spend the £500)

I hope though if his bonus is +£100,000 then you're getting a fair share of the income that goes with it and aren't wanting for anything whilst he seems about in grandeur. Its all relative isn't it, £100k would change our lives but for others it's just pin money.

I think given op generally had less disposable income generally she should Def treat herself

@Kissthepastrychef

Am I missing something ? Surely the only reason the op is the "higher earner" is because she has £600 pcm income from a trust fund.

Maybe that's true, but that's still her money, just as her wages are her money. He's saving his money and the OP doesn't have any money to herself.

@tenbob

If this was reversed, and someone posted to say their DH spent his £500 bonus on himself without consultation, the screams of ‘LTB’ and ‘family money’ would be audible from space

You saved me a job! Women are allowed to keep 'running away' money, heaven help a man who keeps some of his money for himself, that's always 'family money' which doubtless she will expect to say how it's spent.

We share our finances but when I earned bonuses 75% of the bonus went into the joint account and 25% was for me to spend on whatever. I usually spent it on something we'd both enjoy anyway

I think you should buy him something say £50 to 100 and keep the rest yourself.

Hi Op
Well done recieving your bonus.

It depends on how long,committed this relantship is for e.g if you have only been courting for a few months or if you have been together for e.g years..

Also does your Partner help,share equally bills, do house hold chores

Also how much the bonus is

Plus how would he feel about you sharing the bonus with himself..

For e g if this was a fairly new courtship/relantship or only been together for a few months,
I would for e.g just give a token gift or buy a take away to share with partner,

If the relantship was a more long standing relantship such as for years and your partner helps/does house hold chores equally/pays house hold bills

I would consider sharing this bonus equally.
I would find out what he thinks about this too.

But saying that its not the amount of sharing the gift, its the thought that matters really, even just buying a takeaway or a gift is good enough isn't it...

Of course you should share you income when your married. And thus should share your bonus. You're a family, it's family money.

@MatildaonaWaltzer

Jesus. My DH gets a six figure bonus annually which i never see. I'm doing something wrong (tho' he has never seen my rather more modest bonuses either) (spend the £500)

He spends six figures all on himself and you see absolutely none of it? 😂

Open a savings account for a rainy day fund, or treat yourself . You’ve worked hard for the bonus so enjoy without the guilt.

I share everything with DP but think if I got a £500 bonus I would 100% treat myself and my DP would be more than happy for me to do so and in fact would encourage me to spend it on myself.

Stick it in premium bonds and say nowt, you don't know what 2021 will bring. There are redundancies happening all the time now so you're best saving it for an emergency.

Well, he’s sharing his bonus with you. Tell him this year you’ll both be keeping your bonuses to yourselves. Done.

I also don’t know why people are aghast at OP enabling him to save for the ring. This is clearly something that she wants and that means a lot to her.

Maybe buying a take away should be something substantial, such as from a nice quite posh, Thai Resturant or quite upmarket lndian or Chinese Resturant etc.

Still not clear how the maintenance for his two kids fits into your breakdown of spending?

@tenbob

If this was reversed, and someone posted to say their DH spent his £500 bonus on himself without consultation, the screams of ‘LTB’ and ‘family money’ would be audible from space

This 😂😂

But yes spend it. It’s a pressie for you

@MatildaonaWaltzer

Jesus. My DH gets a six figure bonus annually which i never see. I'm doing something wrong (tho' he has never seen my rather more modest bonuses either) (spend the £500)

Really?!

I got a special recognition award (additional to salary increase/bonus) and no one at home expressed any interest when I told them. Therefore I did not feel included to divulge that it came with a financial benefit (£1000 before tax). Reader, I saved it all.