Gifting things I already own- am I being cheap?

[madamedesevigne]

I have a friend who has similar taste to me. I’ve read a really good book that I think she would enjoy, and own a copy. I’m never likely to read it again and it’s in very good condition. Would I be unreasonable to give it to her for Christmas wrapped up instead of buying another new copy?

Definitely not! Great idea

She'll be able to tell it's not new

I’d be perfectly happy to receive a book like that!

If it's a hardback and only read once they're usually still in perfect condition. Do it, don't buy just for the sake of buying.

It depends on the situation - your relationship with her, what you normally get for each other, what she's like... For example, my family love home made gifts, but my in laws would be (privately) disappointed.

Essentially boils down to do you think she will like it?

I think you should suggest in advance exchanging preloved gifts. And then you'll know whether she is up for it. I absolutely would not mind, but I think some may be a bit peeved if they hadn't realised that they could do the same for you. Who knows though, you may start a book exchange going, and that sounds great.

I think it’s fine to regift but I’d probably get her something to go with it as well, so she knows you’re doing it because you genuinely think she would like the book, and you’re not just being cheap.

I was about to come on and say a huge NO to re-gifting but if you really think she'll like it then it's perfect. Go for it.

I think in that case I'd just give it to her, not necessarily for Christmas. I don't think the idea of gifting something that way is strange, but for it to be a book seems strange somehow.

I'd give her the book but I wouldn't wrap it up like I'd bought her it. If you're skint though, it's fine. If you can afford to buy her something then yes, it's a very cheap thing to do.

It’s a paperback, it has a very faint line down the cover near the spine where it has been opened but it’s otherwise unmarked. I’ve bought new paperbacks from Waterstones/Foyles in similar condition, I think. I think she definitely will like it, we usually buy each other books.

Wouldn't you lend a book to a friend anyway if you know that they will like it and you're not planning on reading it again?
I think if you are planning on getting her something else as well then it's fine but it's a bit cheeky if it's her only gift and she is spending money on you, it's obvious when a book is not new.

We should all be regifting tbh. It sounds like it's perfect for your friend. I don't see why it's a problem.

It’s a friend who lives overseas and it would be part of a small parcel of gifts like chocolate, a toy car for her little boy, a DVD... I absolutely could afford to buy her something else but it seems pointless if I already have something I think she’d like (which I will otherwise give away to a charity shop)

I would just give her it to read and still buy a present

Don't do this. Pass it on if you like. But not disguised as a present.

Wouldn't you lend a book to a friend anyway if you know that they will like it and you're not planning on reading it again?

That's not what lending means?

I regift new things I won't use but only if I think the other person will like them. I try to regift items with a higher price value than my cash budget would allow. That way, when I am on a tight budget the recipient gets a better value gift than I could afford but it hasn't impacted on my budget. Win win. You can usually tell when someone really likes the gift you give them and I have had very pleased reactions.

However I am not sure about your used book suggestion. I would worry that they would somehow know I had already used it. I would definitely give a book I had been given and hadn't used though.

Absolutely fine. Someone I’m buying for has given me a list of books he wants. He’s a real eco warrior so I’ve ordered all of them second hand from Amazon. It will add to his pleasure that they’re not new.

Hm. I’d worry that there will be a hair in it, or a dead fly or something.

I could never do this.

I would be very much miffed if I got a used item as a gift. To me, that is not a gift. I will openly admit though that im a right spoilt brat about presents!

So it'd be part of a care package vs the actual 'gift' then? I think this is fine really. It's not about being cheap as it'll cost you bit to send the parcel overseas anyway. Is she an expat? I'd probably bulk out with decent t-bags, and odds n sods that are cheap in the UK, but pricier to get abroad hence a 'bit of a treat'.

If It was two copies of the same book, and you were gifting the unopened one I’d say crack on, but not an already read one.

I think it's fine to gift good books from your own library if there is a purpose behind it. Make it meaningful by including a handwritten note - or actually write on the bit next to the frontispiece or on the dedication page - why you're giving it to her? It can be as short as, "I hope you'll love this as much as I did."