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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gifting things I already own- am I being cheap?

171 replies

madamedesevigne · 02/12/2020 16:07

I have a friend who has similar taste to me. I’ve read a really good book that I think she would enjoy, and own a copy. I’m never likely to read it again and it’s in very good condition. Would I be unreasonable to give it to her for Christmas wrapped up instead of buying another new copy?

OP posts:
Seriously1996 · 03/12/2020 18:20

I have to agree with MandosHatHair

mrslrc · 03/12/2020 18:25

I think this is a good idea, as long as you know she’d like the book. I’ve done it. As long as the book looks new, I don’t see anything wrong with it.

Wilkie1956mog · 03/12/2020 18:31

It would be fine to me, along with some other gift, as part of a gift. Things should be re-used. A friend and I always buy each other a few cds, dvds and books for birthdays/Christmas and are both happy with used ones. Even ones bought already used as long as they are still in decent clean condition. If you know her well you should have a fair idea of how she'd feel about that.

cherish123 · 03/12/2020 18:32

Okay if you're hard up. Otherwise, no. By all means pass it on but don't give it as a present.

hopeso · 03/12/2020 18:41

My SIL once gave me a nail polish as part of a Christmas present. I really liked it and looked up the brand as I'd never heard of it before. I was shocked to see it was part of a beauty gift box subscription and not something she'd purchased for me. But then I thought about it and it's actually a good idea. It wasn't her type of colour at all. I buy beauty boxes now and then, and not everything suits me so I sometimes gift them. I think it's a lovely idea for your friend, especially as it's part of a gift parcel anyway. Also better for the planet and better for the wallet.

Dovesandkisses · 03/12/2020 18:45

I've done it loads of times! As long as you haven't folded the pages or anything then it will look new still.

Localocal · 03/12/2020 18:49

I would give her the book, but not as a Christmas present. Just give her a Christmas card,

Redburnett · 03/12/2020 18:50

If you feel the need to ask a bunch of random internet strangers then the answer is probably 'yes'. Much better to reach an agreement with friend: eg no gifts for ecological reasons, or exchanging 'used' gifts.

Riv · 03/12/2020 19:04

I’d love this. I often receive books from my friends as gifts. Always beautifully wrapped. Several have been pre-read and they tend to be the best. It makes me feel extra special to think that, as they read the book they were thinking of me and that they know the sort of things that I enjoy reading.

Ddot · 03/12/2020 19:05

REGIFT save the planet!

bemusedmoose · 03/12/2020 19:26

well that depends on your friend really. People that i know well will gift me second hand things they know i will love and i would rather receive something pre loved than make more once use tat. But that's not a usual thing and it's only people that i have a good relationship with that would do it. I do also have a love of old things so you cant really get those new.

But i have asked someone to sort out a gift for me to give at a party from my son and they wrapped a used book. I was mortified - you just dont do that unless you know the people and know it's ok.

Fayelina · 03/12/2020 19:32

I would love to receive a book from a friend, that they thought I would love. I really wouldn’t care if it was pre read, that really doesn’t matter with books!

firsttimeoptimist · 03/12/2020 19:33

I would love a book that someone thought I would enjoy but then as a family we are all happy with second hand gifts, knowing they were far better value for the purchaser! I dont even mind on the rare occasion an elderly relative has re-gifted something I gave back. For me it is the thought and the fact that they wished to give me something if I desperately want something I either agree it with my husband purchase it for myself! .

Loverofoldfilms · 03/12/2020 19:38

Great idea. I would love that. I am more and more repurposing things, passing on gifts and even swapping them.

Ddot · 03/12/2020 20:06

Old book new chocolate

itsgettingweird · 03/12/2020 20:16

As your sending a little array of gifts I'd even write in the card you read this and loved it and think she will so you are gifting her it.

I wouldn't be disappointed. I'd be pleased a friend really got me than went and brought me something for the sake of it.

LunaTheCat · 03/12/2020 20:20

I think it is great. I would be happy to receive. The world is changing and people are more conscious of resource use - regifting is a lovely use of resources. I would include a bar of her favourite chocolate and wrap thoughtfully. She is lucky to have you as a friend.

Owl55 · 03/12/2020 20:20

If you think she would enjoy reading he book just give it to her before Christmas ....Problem solved

DobbleBobble · 03/12/2020 21:52

Only you know your friend but I think it's a great idea. You are giving your friend something you think she will like. I might be quite weird though as it seems a lot of people would turn their noses up at it.

cazisalittlenuts · 03/12/2020 22:01

Gift her the book. I used to get second hand books at christmas all the time as a teenage, and in my early 20s. So much nicer than one of those shit 3 for 2 bath sets from boots.

bookish83 · 03/12/2020 22:02

@itsgettingweird

As your sending a little array of gifts I'd even write in the card you read this and loved it and think she will so you are gifting her it.

I wouldn't be disappointed. I'd be pleased a friend really got me than went and brought me something for the sake of it.

This. I'd be really pleased with the thoughtful gesture!
Celestine70 · 03/12/2020 22:11

I think it's fine. I wouldn't mind receiving a used book. I don't see the point in wasting resources.

Mamanyt · 04/12/2020 00:06

AH! I went back and forth between reasonable and not reasonable until I read that this will be part of a parcel being mailed overseas. Not as if it will be the only thing in the parcel, after all. That makes a huge difference, especially if she would have a hard time finding the book where she is. Just tuck a note inside saying how much you loved the book, and wanted her to have your copy...almost like reading it together

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 04/12/2020 00:59

YABU for not telling us what the book is! GrinGrin

WillSantaBeComingToTown · 04/12/2020 01:41

@Ddot

REGIFT save the planet!
REGIFT and spread the crap and feul the consumerism.

Much better to not gift at all- that would save the planet . We all had too much stuff.